Balz gets New Boat--Balz is Back, Balz is Back

[U-104]

"BDU to give Balz U-104 and a new crew."

why what did i do to deserve this?:rotfl::rotfl:

[Sailor Steve]

You were in the wrong place at the wrong time.

We'll place flowers.

[Brag]

Of.z.S. Hageman writes:
06 January 1941

The previous night we saw two American tankers lit up like St.Pauli bei Nacht. The watch on those ships would have been indignant if they saw the indecent gestures we made.

Frustrated we carried on toward our assigned grid SSE of Greenland.

Shortly after sunset, U-104 Rumbled along at 8 knots on a calm sea.
"Our first kill is going to be tanker tonight," Balz said when the navigator got finished making the evening star shots. "Periscope depth."

After dinner, we sat in the officers' nook practing Balz's Rule of One (One ship, one torpedo. One glass of wine during dinner. One cognac after dinner). The soundman announced, Freighter,fast, nearing."

Balz took a sip of his cognac. "New heading 330, give us turns for six knots."
I went to the chart table. The relative bearing of the target remained constant, I wondered how Balz got our intercept heading right without leaving his corner seat.

"Let me know when that tanker is two thousand meters from us."
"Herr Kaleun, how do you know it's a tanker?"
"I am just great, not perfect, but great. And we are crossing Tanker Alley. We will break the rule of one by sinking it with the deck gun. But being hoochie woochie we'll call it one gun one ship."

Balz placed his tea cozy on his head and we surfaced. The first shell set the ship ablaze, revealing it was small tanker. It took 16 shells to put out the floating bonfire by sinking it.

The singing twirlers mustered on the after deck and sang the Hoochie-woochie boom-boom song.

We resumed our course to the patrol area.
(smileys pilfered from Jimbuna)

[Foghladh_mhara]

With heroes such as Balz it is a wonder how the war was ever lost :hmm:

Although I must say my own particular hero Kptlt. Peter Wulf, whilst less vulgar but quite adept at sinking allied tonnage once he got over that embarassing problem of firing a full spread of torpedoes at convoys and then hiding under the chart table, may well equal the crass Herr Balz in the tonnage war. The gauntlet has been produced Sir and not only slapped across the cheek but also stuffed down ones neck. U-98 will survive and triumph. Only 4 years to go

[Brag]

J.S. Balz writes:

My dear Wulf,
With people like me in the Kriesmarine the British empire is doomed (doom de doom, hoochie woochie). You don't need to fear another 4 years. together we'll ton them down.

My Choir's tonality together with my skilful tonnage, will continue to inspire you to fight perfidous Albion.

Good hunting, Herr Kaleun. Victory is ours.

Kptlt. Johan Sebastian Balz.