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Old 08-21-08, 01:22 PM   #2401
UnderseaLcpl
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Raptor1

I wish I didn't have to have retribution

Granted, now you suffer terrible pain and ultimately death at the hands of an unprovoked aggressor.

I wish they could find and convict Raptor1's killer, whilst never convicting me.
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Old 08-21-08, 01:37 PM   #2402
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Granted, they find and convict him of performing a valuable public service. His killer is punished by gifts of endless wealth and compliant super-models. You on the other hand are never thought of again.

I wish that catma was the opposite of dogma.
 
Old 08-21-08, 01:43 PM   #2403
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Granted, but the meaning of both words now baffle you twice as much

I wish for a glass of Sodium Nitrate
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Old 08-21-08, 03:34 PM   #2404
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Granted, now your food never tastes the same.

I wish ostriches could fly.
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Old 08-21-08, 04:09 PM   #2405
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Granted, but they lay their eggs in mid-flight and one hits you on the head.

I wish I was Pope.
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Old 08-21-08, 04:11 PM   #2406
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Granted, you are Pope, but you are the Pope of Poop

I wish that the Space-Time Continuum was easier to fix once it was ripped
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Old 08-21-08, 04:15 PM   #2407
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Granted, but your sewing skill just aint up to the job, bucko!

I wish I didn't have to keep looking back over 2-3 pages of crushed dreams to catch up on whats happened.
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Old 08-21-08, 04:31 PM   #2408
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Granted, now you have to read back 6 pages.

I wish my supper was ready.
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Old 08-21-08, 04:38 PM   #2409
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Granted, but instead of Vindaloo you have steamed green vegetables and instead of rice you have gruell.

I wish I had a vindaloo with rice and papadams and a nice cucmber raita
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Old 08-21-08, 04:39 PM   #2410
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Granted, but you can't eat it because your lips have been superglued together

I wish I knew what all that crap was
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Old 08-21-08, 05:42 PM   #2411
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Granted but after investigating you discover all that crap was paid for with your money and bought on your behalf. All fingers of guilt are pointed in your direction and the mere fact that you are innocent of killing the pig for the vindaloo or building the dams in the papadam mean nothing. You are hounded by exotic food fanatics anxious to acquire your bits and pieces for some nice take-out steak and kidney pie. Eventually they will catch you.

I wish for a fishing trip to Calabogie.
 
Old 08-21-08, 05:47 PM   #2412
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Granted, but you find that all the fish have been stolen by TarJak

I wish I knew how Tony and STEED were getting along.
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Old 08-21-08, 06:10 PM   #2413
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Granted but how they are doing is not as interesting as WHAT they are doing. :rotfl:

I wish I had a bigger hard drive because I need more space to save games...
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Old 08-21-08, 06:19 PM   #2414
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Granted, but it's so big it cannot fit into the case

I wish I had the new Crush-O-Matic 2000
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Old 08-21-08, 06:27 PM   #2415
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Granted, but most of the ones they built had a defect that not only crushed, they mangled, twisted, crushed, and distorted beyond repair, and with you needing glasses, the most likely thing that would happen would be you would miss the ice and get your computer instead, thereby leaving you without internet and without the money to purchase another computer since they are charging 5 times the price of an Alien computer for one crushomatic 2000.

I wish I had some hot sauce to go along with my leftover spaghetti I had to warm up in my microwave so that my wife could go to the store.
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