The Bilge

[Armistead]

Originally Posted by Tango589

You would never tell, from the horrendous things Donna's doing to those chickens in the name of 'Chinese food'...

because it looks Chinese, don't think that it is....anyway, we'll be in our new boat soon.....just waiting for some test results from the physical and you guys still got to your physical qualifications, push ups, etc...

[Tango589]

Cool, what boat are we being consigned to the bilge of next?

[Armistead]

I think Wolferz said he got us a Narwhal or S boat....Something about delivering some toilet paper to some base yet not known...

But who knows what we'll run into..

[Aktungbby]

Originally Posted by Tango589

Cool, what boat are we being consigned to the bilge of next?

Originally Posted by Armistead

I think Wolferz said he got us a Narwhal or S boat....Something about delivering some toilet paper to some base yet not known...

But who knows what we'll run into..

'NARWHAL MY S!' Lets go with numero UNO you ol' REB! Well make all ers over age 60 automatic bilge rats-they're 'nasty ol' cranks' anyhow and will fit right in! The wood seats are good fer chewin too; keeps the teeth gleaming in the candle light!new logo-teeth AND scaly tail!?T

[Armistead]

Well, 99% of the crew were deemed medically/physically unfit for duty.
Most concerning were the following officers

Wolferz:
Herpes Simplex 1 & 2
Anal Warts{ found in mouth.}
Ingrown Toe Nails
Schizophrenia
42 lbs overweight.


Swampman:
Herpes Simplex 1&2
Scabies
Chancroid - right testicle
Hemorrhoids
General Depression
38 lbs overweight


Fireftr:
Herpes Simplex 2{note: found on upper lip}
Severe Gingivitis
Canker Sores {rectal rim}
Bi-Polar Disorder
28 lbs underweight.

Aktung:
Gingivitis
Vaginsitis {}
Gonorrhoea
Pubic Lice
38 lbs overweight
Antisocial Personality Disorder
Multiple Personality Disorder
39 lbs overweight

Tango:
Trichomonas
Genital Warts
Gonorrhoea
Herpes Simplex 1 & 2
Canker of the Anus
Scabies
Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder
Anemic
18 lbs underweight.

Armistead:
Stomach Ulcers
Irritable Bowel Syndrome
Nail Fungus
Herpes 1&2 - Fingernails
Arthritis Thumbs
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder
42 lbs underweight

Wern:
Calcium Deficiency Disease
138 lbs underweight

[Wolferz]

Is that Herpes Simplex or Zostrex?

[Armistead]

Originally Posted by Wolferz

Is that Herpes Simplex or Zostrex?

both!

[Aktungbby]

You missed 'Herpes Gladiatorium' http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Herpes_ gladiatorum "it is strongly associated with contact sports — outbreaks in sporting clubs being relatively common. Other names for the disease are herpes rugbiorum or "scrumpox" (after rugby football), "wrestler's herpes" or "mat pox" (after wrestling). In one of the largest outbreaks ever among high-school wrestlers at a four week intensive training camp, HSV was identified in 60 of 175 wrestlers." I wrestled, 7 years, played rugby, 10 years, and came from MN where it was prevalent. But try telling your wife that...I need a Hamm'sIf were all crankin' madly down in our lil' Hunley, could be a problem...

[Armistead]

We have found the source...

[Wolferz]

Mary J Bilge crew,

Re: Retention,

All disqualifying physical and medical conditions have been waived.

Report to the SS 118.14 currently berthed at pier 69, San Diego, Ca.

Once you pipe aboard and get settled in, I want the entire sub repainted. See the base quartermaster and draw the brushes and the fifty shades of gray I have ordered. Sub is to be painted in a tiger stripe camouflage pattern. Bring all onboard equipment up to spec.

Luzon needs that load of pig slop ASAP! So, get it done yesterday.

[Wolferz]

When there's work to be done.

Typical.

[Armistead]

Sir,

I think you made a mistake by calling the men to work. I'm gonna tell them there's a party with booze and free women aboard SS 118.14, then we call pull out and whip em into shape.

Also, Fireftr got arrested last night and currently in the brig. I'll see what the charges are.

I'm gonna store Wern under your bunk....

[Tango589]

I heard it involved lewd and indecent behaviour with livestock.

[Wolferz]

Originally Posted by Armistead

Sir,

I think you made a mistake by calling the men to work. I'm gonna tell them there's a party with booze and free women aboard SS 118.14, then we call pull out and whip em into shape.

Also, Fireftr got arrested last night and currently in the brig. I'll see what the charges are.

I'm gonna store Wern under your bunk....

Attach a catheter hose to the jug so I don't have to get up to go pee.

FF was probably impersonating a fireman again and trespassing in someone's tree. He always uses that saving the cat schtick when he wants to play peeping ToM. I hope it wasn't the admiral's daughter again.

[Armistead]

Originally Posted by Tango589

I heard it involved lewd and indecent behaviour with livestock.

yep, it was the admiral's daughter....