A brief respite from politics

Jimbuna · 10-22-08, 03:55 PM

Jimmy the Aboriginal.

A rich man living in Darwin decided that he wanted to throw a party and
invited all of his buddies and neighbours.
He also invited Jimmy, the only aboriginal in the neighbourhood.
He held the party around the pool in the backyard of his mansion.
Everyone was having a good time drinking, dancing, eating prawns, oysters
and BBQ and flirting.

At the height of the party, the host said, "I have a 15ft man-eating Crocodile in my pool and I'll give a million dollars to anyone who has the balls to jump in."

The words were barely out of his mouth when there was a loud splash and everyone turned around and saw Jimmy in the pool!

Jimmy was fighting the croc and kicking its ass!
Jimmy was jabbing the croc in the eyes with his
thumbs, throwing punches, doing all kinds of **** like head butts and chokeholds, biting the croc on the tail and flipping the croc through the air
like some kind of Judo Instructor.

The water was churning and splashing everywhere.
Both Jimmy and the croc were screaming and raising hell.

Finally Jimmy strangled the croc and let it float to the top like a K-mart goldfish.

Jimmy then slowly climbed out of the pool.
Everybody was just staring at him in disbelief.
Finally the host says, "Well, Jimmy, I reckon I owe you a million dollars."
"Nah, you right, I don't want it," said Jimmy.
The rich man said, "Man, I have to give you something. You won the bet."
"How about half a million bucks then?"
"No thanks. I don't want it," answered Jimmy.
The host said, "Come on, I insist on giving you something.
That was amazing.
How about a new Porsche and a Rolex and some stock options?"
Again Jimmy said no.

Confused, the rich man asked, "Well Jimmy, then what do you want?"

Jimmy said, "I want the name of the c*#t who pushed me in the Pool.

bookworm_020 · 10-22-08, 05:58 PM

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

May not be PC, but I loved it!

Sailor Steve · 10-22-08, 07:05 PM

:rotfl:

I'll be telling that one to my friends!

Frame57 · 10-22-08, 08:07 PM

Bravo!:rotfl:

Jimbuna · 10-23-08, 08:19 AM

I'm jus wondering who pushed him in

Tango589 · 10-23-08, 10:58 AM

Nice joke! BTW, have you heard of Kevin 'Bloody' Wilson? He's an Aussie comic who's material is similar to the above, but with a LOT more foul language thrown in, as well as having written various songs such as 'My Grandfather's c*ck', 'That *******ing cats back' and 'Mick the Master Farter'.

Jimbuna · 10-23-08, 12:31 PM

Oh yes, I've heard of him....the Aussie equivalent to Chubby Brown

Tango589 · 10-23-08, 12:35 PM

Thats the bloke!
:rotfl:

AVGWarhawk · 10-23-08, 12:43 PM

I needed that after the headache I have developed and some of that headache is my own doing.

Tango589 · 10-23-08, 02:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AVGWarhawk

I needed that after the headache I have developed and some of that headache is my own doing.

Haave you been copying this guy?

AVGWarhawk · 10-23-08, 02:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tango589

Quote:

Originally Posted by AVGWarhawk

I needed that after the headache I have developed and some of that headache is my own doing.

Haave you been copying this guy?

No, I have been participating in the campaign thread

Jimbuna · 10-24-08, 10:39 AM

Jimmy the Aboriginal Elder

It was April and the aborigines in a remote part of Northern Australia asked their new elder, Jimmy, if the coming winter was going to be cold or mild.

Since Jimmy was an elder in a modern community, he had never been taught the old secrets. When he looked at the sky, he couldn't tell what the winter was going to be like.

Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he told his tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the tribe should collect firewood to be prepared.

After several days Jimmy had an idea. He walked out to the telephone booth on the highway, called the Bureau of Meteorology and asked, 'Is the coming winter in this area going to be cold?'

The meteorologist responded, 'It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold.'
So Jimmy went back to his people and told them to collect even more wood in order to be prepared.

A week later he called the Bureau of Meteorology again. 'Does it still look like it is going to be a very cold winter?'

The meteorologist again replied, 'Yes, it's going to be a very cold winter.'
Jimmy again went back to his community and ordered them to collect every scrap of firewood they could find.

Two weeks later Jimmy called the Bureau again. 'Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?' he asked.

'Absolutely,' the man replied. 'It's looking more and more like it is going to be one of the coldest winters ever.'

'How can you be so sure?' Jimmy asked.
The weatherman replied, 'Our satellites have reported that the aborigines in the north are collecting firewood like crazy, and that's always a sure sign.'

Tango589 · 10-24-08, 11:12 AM

:rotfl:

FIREWALL · 10-24-08, 12:05 PM

Thx jim

I needed a good laugh this morning.

Jimbuna · 10-24-08, 01:00 PM

Your welcome matey

10-22-08, 03:55 PM	#1
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 190,645 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	A brief respite from politics Jimmy the Aboriginal. A rich man living in Darwin decided that he wanted to throw a party and invited all of his buddies and neighbours. He also invited Jimmy, the only aboriginal in the neighbourhood. He held the party around the pool in the backyard of his mansion. Everyone was having a good time drinking, dancing, eating prawns, oysters and BBQ and flirting. At the height of the party, the host said, "I have a 15ft man-eating Crocodile in my pool and I'll give a million dollars to anyone who has the balls to jump in." The words were barely out of his mouth when there was a loud splash and everyone turned around and saw Jimmy in the pool! Jimmy was fighting the croc and kicking its ass! Jimmy was jabbing the croc in the eyes with his thumbs, throwing punches, doing all kinds of **** like head butts and chokeholds, biting the croc on the tail and flipping the croc through the air like some kind of Judo Instructor. The water was churning and splashing everywhere. Both Jimmy and the croc were screaming and raising hell. Finally Jimmy strangled the croc and let it float to the top like a K-mart goldfish. Jimmy then slowly climbed out of the pool. Everybody was just staring at him in disbelief. Finally the host says, "Well, Jimmy, I reckon I owe you a million dollars." "Nah, you right, I don't want it," said Jimmy. The rich man said, "Man, I have to give you something. You won the bet." "How about half a million bucks then?" "No thanks. I don't want it," answered Jimmy. The host said, "Come on, I insist on giving you something. That was amazing. How about a new Porsche and a Rolex and some stock options?" Again Jimmy said no. Confused, the rich man asked, "Well Jimmy, then what do you want?" Jimmy said, "I want the name of the c#t who pushed me in the Pool. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.* Oh my God, not again!!

10-22-08, 05:58 PM	#2
bookworm_020 Navy Seal Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Sinking ships off the Australian coast Posts: 5,966 Downloads: 1 Uploads: 0	:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: May not be PC, but I loved it! __________________ "There is always one person in any organization who knows whats going on, That person must be fired"

10-22-08, 07:05 PM	#3
Sailor Steve Eternal Patrol Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: High in the mountains of Utah Posts: 50,369 Downloads: 745 Uploads: 249	:rotfl: I'll be telling that one to my friends! __________________ “Never do anything you can't take back.” —Rocky Russo

10-23-08, 08:19 AM	#5
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 190,645 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	I'm jus wondering who pushed him in __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

10-23-08, 10:58 AM	#6
Tango589 Still crazy as ever! Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: A little south of sanity Posts: 3,375 Downloads: 180 Uploads: 1	Nice joke! BTW, have you heard of Kevin 'Bloody' Wilson? He's an Aussie comic who's material is similar to the above, but with a LOT more foul language thrown in, as well as having written various songs such as 'My Grandfather's cck', 'That ******ing cats back' and 'Mick the Master Farter'. __________________ Hanging on in quiet desperation is the English way...

10-22-08, 08:07 PM	#4
Frame57 Sea Lord Join Date: May 2008 Location: 1300 feet on the crapper Posts: 1,860 Downloads: 2 Uploads: 0	Bravo!:rotfl:

10-23-08, 12:31 PM	#7
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 190,645 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Oh yes, I've heard of him....the Aussie equivalent to Chubby Brown __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

10-23-08, 12:35 PM	#8
Tango589 Still crazy as ever! Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: A little south of sanity Posts: 3,375 Downloads: 180 Uploads: 1	Thats the bloke! :rotfl: __________________ Hanging on in quiet desperation is the English way...

10-23-08, 12:43 PM	#9
AVGWarhawk Lucky Jack Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: In a 1954 Buick. Posts: 28,276 Downloads: 90 Uploads: 0	I needed that after the headache I have developed and some of that headache is my own doing. __________________ “You're painfully alive in a drugged and dying culture.” ― Richard Yates, Revolutionary Road

10-24-08, 10:39 AM	#12
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 190,645 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Jimmy the Aboriginal Elder It was April and the aborigines in a remote part of Northern Australia asked their new elder, Jimmy, if the coming winter was going to be cold or mild. Since Jimmy was an elder in a modern community, he had never been taught the old secrets. When he looked at the sky, he couldn't tell what the winter was going to be like. Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he told his tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the tribe should collect firewood to be prepared. After several days Jimmy had an idea. He walked out to the telephone booth on the highway, called the Bureau of Meteorology and asked, 'Is the coming winter in this area going to be cold?' The meteorologist responded, 'It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold.' So Jimmy went back to his people and told them to collect even more wood in order to be prepared. A week later he called the Bureau of Meteorology again. 'Does it still look like it is going to be a very cold winter?' The meteorologist again replied, 'Yes, it's going to be a very cold winter.' Jimmy again went back to his community and ordered them to collect every scrap of firewood they could find. Two weeks later Jimmy called the Bureau again. 'Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?' he asked. 'Absolutely,' the man replied. 'It's looking more and more like it is going to be one of the coldest winters ever.' 'How can you be so sure?' Jimmy asked. The weatherman replied, 'Our satellites have reported that the aborigines in the north are collecting firewood like crazy, and that's always a sure sign.' __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

10-24-08, 11:12 AM	#13
Tango589 Still crazy as ever! Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: A little south of sanity Posts: 3,375 Downloads: 180 Uploads: 1	:rotfl: __________________ Hanging on in quiet desperation is the English way...

10-24-08, 12:05 PM	#14
FIREWALL Eternal Patrol Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: CATALINA IS. SO . CAL USA Posts: 10,108 Downloads: 511 Uploads: 0	Thx jim I needed a good laugh this morning. __________________ RIP FIREWALL I Play GWX. Silent Hunter Who ???

10-24-08, 01:00 PM	#15
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 190,645 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Your welcome matey __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!