A brief respite from politics
 

Jimmy the Aboriginal.


A rich man living in Darwin decided that he wanted to throw a party and
invited all of his buddies and neighbours.
He also invited Jimmy, the only aboriginal in the neighbourhood.
He held the party around the pool in the backyard of his mansion.
Everyone was having a good time drinking, dancing, eating prawns, oysters
and BBQ and flirting.

At the height of the party, the host said, "I have a 15ft man-eating Crocodile in my pool and I'll give a million dollars to anyone who has the balls to jump in."

The words were barely out of his mouth when there was a loud splash and everyone turned around and saw Jimmy in the pool!

Jimmy was fighting the croc and kicking its ass!
Jimmy was jabbing the croc in the eyes with his
thumbs, throwing punches, doing all kinds of **** like head butts and chokeholds, biting the croc on the tail and flipping the croc through the air
like some kind of Judo Instructor.

The water was churning and splashing everywhere.
Both Jimmy and the croc were screaming and raising hell.

Finally Jimmy strangled the croc and let it float to the top like a K-mart goldfish.

Jimmy then slowly climbed out of the pool.
Everybody was just staring at him in disbelief.
Finally the host says, "Well, Jimmy, I reckon I owe you a million dollars."
"Nah, you right, I don't want it," said Jimmy.
The rich man said, "Man, I have to give you something. You won the bet."
"How about half a million bucks then?"
"No thanks. I don't want it," answered Jimmy.
The host said, "Come on, I insist on giving you something.
That was amazing.
How about a new Porsche and a Rolex and some stock options?"
Again Jimmy said no.

Confused, the rich man asked, "Well Jimmy, then what do you want?"

Jimmy said, "I want the name of the c*#t who pushed me in the Pool.

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

May not be PC, but I loved it!:D

:rotfl: :rock:

I'll be telling that one to my friends!

Bravo!:rotfl:

I'm jus wondering who pushed him in :lol:

Nice joke! BTW, have you heard of Kevin 'Bloody' Wilson? He's an Aussie comic who's material is similar to the above, but with a LOT more foul language thrown in, as well as having written various songs such as 'My Grandfather's c*ck', 'That *******ing cats back' and 'Mick the Master Farter'.

Oh yes, I've heard of him....the Aussie equivalent to Chubby Brown :lol:

Thats the bloke!
:rotfl:

I needed that after the headache I have developed and some of that headache is my own doing. :-?

Haave you been copying this guy? :damn:

No, I have been participating in the campaign thread :x:o

Jimmy the Aboriginal Elder

It was April and the aborigines in a remote part of Northern Australia asked their new elder, Jimmy, if the coming winter was going to be cold or mild.

Since Jimmy was an elder in a modern community, he had never been taught the old secrets. When he looked at the sky, he couldn't tell what the winter was going to be like.

Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he told his tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the tribe should collect firewood to be prepared.

After several days Jimmy had an idea. He walked out to the telephone booth on the highway, called the Bureau of Meteorology and asked, 'Is the coming winter in this area going to be cold?'

The meteorologist responded, 'It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold.'
So Jimmy went back to his people and told them to collect even more wood in order to be prepared.

A week later he called the Bureau of Meteorology again. 'Does it still look like it is going to be a very cold winter?'

The meteorologist again replied, 'Yes, it's going to be a very cold winter.'
Jimmy again went back to his community and ordered them to collect every scrap of firewood they could find.

Two weeks later Jimmy called the Bureau again. 'Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?' he asked.

'Absolutely,' the man replied. 'It's looking more and more like it is going to be one of the coldest winters ever.'

'How can you be so sure?' Jimmy asked.
The weatherman replied, 'Our satellites have reported that the aborigines in the north are collecting firewood like crazy, and that's always a sure sign.'

:up:
:rotfl:

Thx jim :up:

I needed a good laugh this morning. :yep:

Your welcome matey :up: