2018 Subsim Fantasy Football Season - It Begins

[Gut Wrench]

12 hours until Draft Day.


It's not too late for you to join, we have one more craft on the launchpad waiting to transport you to the IS.

[Gut Wrench]

...and the first pick of the draft will be taken by





The Drunk Monkeys.

[Gut Wrench]

The 2018 draft is over and the return flight from the ISS is a lot lighter than expected.


Accolades have been awarded to the Who Dat Nation, the defending champions after having the best draft class. The Nation are in the Sub Skimmers division with the Helmand Nighthawks and the Black Cats, easily, the hardest division of the two to win.


Over in the Surface Skimmers, both the Guns of Hochuli and the Australian Taipans drafted a lot of already injured or suspended players. Expect to see some movement in their teams as we continue to work through the preseason.


Each week, come back her for the game results where we'll give the highs, lows, and the embarrassments of the 16 most frustrating weeks of the year....since last year.

[Eichhörnchen]

I still have no idea just what the heck this is all about... are there any squirrels in it?

[Gargamel]

Missed the draft, due to a girl. Which was a very good thing. Especially cause she may be the biggest football and hockey nut I have ever met. Watch out guys, I got me an assistant coach.

[Gut Wrench]

Nighthawks Take Off
Obliterate the Nation

Here we go folks, it's Week One in the Subsim Fantasy Football League.

But hold the phone - and not for John Gruden (Tony Romo replacement - ehhhh). There's controversy before we even get the first game of the year started.

This Years Draft was held aboard the International Space Station and the divisions were aligned. The Sub Simmers Division is made up of the Helmand Nighthawks, the Who Dat Nation and the Black Cats. Between these three teams, they own five of the last six years Torpedo Bowl Championships. In the Surface Skimmers Division, the three teams are the the Drunk Monkeys the Australian Taipans and the Guns of Hochuli - the Gunners being the only team to have ever won a Torpedo Bowl.

There has been an international outcry, with the Commissioner receiving telephone calls from @therealdonaldtrump, #TheQueen and several squirrels. The backlash of putting the three strongest teams in the same division has never been higher.

The Commissioner has been in a number of talks and to prevent the previous years Torpedo Bowl participants form reappearing in the same division, they will be separated as of next year.

"It's all about bringing balance to the universe," The Commissioner is quoted at a recent press conference.

Now that we have next years divisional alignment completed, let's look at this years immediate controversies.

But before we get into this weeks highlights, here's the most important message you need to hear.



DONATE TO SUBSIM...AND NOMINATE SUBSIM FANTASY FOOTBALL FOR BEST OF SUBSIM.

On the eve of Patriot Day, we remember the word of our first Patriots on United #93 - "let's roll".

Phone call for Le'Von Bell, Mister Bell, phone call."

Crickets.

Having been drafted by the Black Cats as their first overall pick, Bell is currently on a hold out. His current contract with the Cats has not been inked. It is rumored that Bell wants a Subsim Tshirt, a Subsim calendar and a Subsim mug. Coach FYC has asked Bell to buy his own stuff form the Subsim Store, but Bell has refused to.

As we go through the games, Bell's absence becomes pivotal for the Black Cat game.

Let's go around the grounds and work out what happened.

In Wembley, England, the Helmand Nighthawks got to open their season against their Torpedo Bowl opponents the Who Dat Nation. The Nation, after having been graded as having the best draft, got sunk by the Nighthawks. The Nighthawks put up a season opening record score, and the second highest score of all time. The damage could have been greater had the Nighthawks not started the Chargers (DEF) which resulted in a negative score. The Who Dat Nation were outplayed both through the air and on the ground, with their only bright spot being Antonio Brown (WR) for 24 points. The Nighthawks serve notice in week one that they want the Torpedo Bowl with a demolition of the Who Dat Nation 211 - 129.

In a surprising turn of events, the Drunk Monkeys showed up for their first away game at the Guns of Hochuli. The Monkeys have been a dormant team for the last few seasons, but, they have still managed to have a hand in the final standings, stealing important wins when they had not business doing so, disrupting the post season. The Gunners under Coach Casey have been the third best team in the league for the past seven years, the unfortunate victim in two seasons of the Monkeys stolen wins. Not this week though. Coach Casey was having none of the hype surrounding the joint ownership of the Drunk Monkeys between Coach Thad and some mystery woman. As if to impress the royalty, Michael Thomas (WR) finally showed up for the Monkeys after seasons of disappointment to put up 44 points. The Monkeys though still need to expand out from a one dimensional team as the Gunners ground game just ran roughshod over the Drunk Monkeys. Guns of Hochuli open the season with a convincing win over the Drunk Monkeys with a 186-154 point victory.

Our final game was the Black Cats hosting the Australian Taipans. The Cats have had their in house tremors with Bell and the Taipans came in to capitalize on that disruption. The Cats and Taipans have met n opening day for the last three years with the Taipans holding a 2-1 advantage. Drew Brees (QB) stated that if he needed to carry the team, he would as he threw for over 430 yards and 3 touchdowns for 43 points. The Taipans had a monumental scare when their starting QB Aaron Rodgers was carted off the field when he was told that his new girlfriend Danica Patrick is not that attractive. Rodgers came back to put up three touchdowns to keep the Taipans in the game until Monday Night. The Cats, perhaps distracted by the Bell issue, started both Amari Cooper (WR) and the Rams (DEF) - a rookie mistake which kept the Taipans in the game until the fourth quarter. Taipans were able to hang in with the Black Cats until the Rams (DEF) intercepted and returned for a pick 6. Final score Black Cass defeat the Taipans by the week's narrowest margin of 155 - 136

So after Week One - where do we stand?

Half the league is 0-1, the other half is 1-0.

Next week, we come back across the pond to the opening day for the Who Dat Nation as they host the Guns of Hochuli. The Nation and the Gunners are marked by the Vegas bookies to finish second and third, but which team will finish higher could be dependent on the result of this game in the second week. The Nation need to not let the Gunners get away with a 2-0 lead and the Gunners can separate themselves form the remainder of the division.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

For the first time in three years, Antonio Brown (WR) is not going to receive the opening week MVT. For the effort of 29 rushing yards, 2 rushing touchdown, 9 receptions for 112 yards with a receiving touchdown, and a 2 point conversion, for a total score of 49.10 points, this years opening week goes to Alvin Kamara (RB) of the Helmand Nighthawks, the Week One MVT.

[Gut Wrench]

Black Cats Purr-Fect
Taipans score 190, still lose.

Week Two in the Subsim Fantasy Football League, and with the exception of one team, the immaculate seasons are over. We'll find out which previous dual Torpedo Bowl winner didn't, which Gun didn't fire, we'll set a new high in a losing record, and we'll stare in disbelief as we look at the table and go "what the hell happened here?".

Now before we get into the happenings of the weekend, let's find out about the most important happening for you this week.

DONATE TO SUBSIM...AND NOMINATE SUBSIM FANTASY FOOTBALL FOR BEST OF SUBSIM.

On any given weekend it can happen. A team can go into a match expecting to come away with the W, and after 60 minutes, (or in some cases 75 minutes) come away with the wrong W - the W of "what happened. In the rain soaked Carolina's. fans turned out in their life rafts for a lake shore view of the Black Cats hosting the Helmand Nighthawks. Both teams are former Torpedo Bowl winners but the Nighthawks have been the dominating force in the Subsim League for the last few years. Not this weekend though, as the Black Cats caused the first major upset of the season. Not even with Greg Zuerlin (K) in pre game swimming drills pulling a muscle could the Cats be denied. The Nighthawks dual running game threat of Jarvis Landry and Alvin Kawana who dominated the Nighthawks game in the week prior were able to break through the Raiders (DEF) of the Black Cats. For the second week in a row playing a man down on the field, the Black Cats have just wiped the scoreboard of the Helmand Nighthawks and opened up Pandora's box of play off implications - and it's only week two! Black Cats come home strong and defeat the Helmand Nighthawks 145 - 132.

In the high scoring game of the Drunk Monkeys hosting the Australian Taipans, the Monkeys new assistant coach acquisition, an as yet unnamed and unidentified skirt, the Monkeys now have as many wins this week as they had last season. How is this possible for a team that could barely show up to suddenly turn up and become a power house of the Subsim League? Who could of predicted that? Oh wait - the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) have been saying for years that if the Monkeys just showed up occasionally they could be legitimate fantasy team. As this week they had to score a lot of points to get in front of the Taipans. Monkeys Deshawn Watson (QB) who was playing later after missing the team bus, was completing his final passes of the day to surpass 300 yards, and give the Monkeys a lead. Taipans played hard against the Monkeys as these two teams racked up almost a combined 400 points scoring. Ezekiel Elliot (RB) was the last player on the field needing just 12 more yards to secure the win for the Taipans, but ran out of time. (Should have played overtime, everyone else did. ) Setting a league highest losing score, the Taipans 190 points fall short of the Drunk Monkeys who hang on by the slippery banana peel of 195 points. The win has massive implications for the league pending the results of our match of the day.

After having been pummeled in the opening weekend, the Who Dat Nation returns home this week for long time adversary the Guns of Hoculi. The Gunners have yet to make any moved on their team while the Nation has already waived two players. At home, the Nation's crowd roared as the WR corp of Antonio Brown, Deandre Hopkins and A.J. Green bulldozed their way over the Gunners, outscoring them 2 - 1. Who Dat Nation gains redemption for a surprise week one loss by accounting for the Guns of Hochuli with the biggest blow out of the week, 173 - 114.


The week have several unexpected results that weren't apparent as the games were playing out. The leader board looks like this.

The Black Cats lead the league and the division at 2-0 and are the only team left undefeated. Their two wins, one of which is unexpected, is sending shivers through the league as the fans wonder if the cats are returning to purr-fect form.

At the bottom of the ladder, the Australian Taipans have their first 0-2 season in the history of their club and are thanking their lucky stars that they are only one game out of contention. Although it is only week two, the Taipans have lost both their games by the narrowest margins.

Now the middle of the league is where the real interest lies, and it doesn't start with the Helmand Nighthawks. The Drunk Monkeys high scoring victory over the Taipans propels the team to the #2 seeding on a count back of divisional standing. With the Black Cats and the Drunk Monkeys holding the #1 seed in each division, the title race is well and truly on.

The loss by the Nighthawks drops them to 1-1 also and within their division they also take the #3 seed on a count back to the Who Dat Nation. The Nations victory over the Guns of Hochuli wasn't enough to propel them to the top of the charts, but it did allow them to leapfrog the Gunners, dropping them back to the #5 seeding.

Did anyone see this coming? The Nighthawks and the Nation not leading the division? The Black Cats and the Monkeys leading their divisions? Next week our match of the day is unexpected battle of 1-1 teams as the Guns of Hochuli host the Hemlamnd Nighthawks. The Nighthawks get their second match of the day in three weeks because they're not leading the league, and a loss for either team could see them as the wooden spooners.

Did anyone think that these two teams were be fighting it out for last place? It can happen in Subsim Fantasy League.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

Who do we go to, given the turned table and the unexpected emergence of two teams not know for their domination? We have to give it to the league leader. For the effort of 7 receptions for 109 yards and 2 touchdowns, for a total score of 35.90 points, the ASW are proud to present Travic Kelce (TE) of the Black Cats the Week Two MVT.