2015 Subsim Fantasy Football Reports

Gut Wrench · 11-03-15, 12:28 AM

GARGAMEL DRUNK OVER WIN
Cats Choke with 7 on Monday Night

Week 8 in the Subsim Fantasy Football League, and we get to show off one of the biggest upsets of the year. We'll talk about the biggest game this week that looked closer than the scoreline indicated, and we'll examine how one team got skinned alive...even though it took till well after midnight to finally resolve the last points of the week.

But before we resolve anything, we have to do this.

DONATE TO SUBSIM SUBSIM...OR BERNARD STARTS ON YOUR TEAM NEXT WEEK.

The talk of my appearances at Talledega were much maligned, however, I did get a selfie with Danica.

Can anyone really stand in the way of the Nighthawks? The Taipans sure as hell can't. As the Taipans make their second journey on the longest away game ever, they land in jolly old England to take on the Nighthawks. The Nighthawks disposed of one divisional rival last week for the second time in the season, and were looking to make it two from two with the Taipans. The Taipans have been slithering down the league ladder week after week, sometimes just losing, other times getting skinned alive. This week, they were pecked, torn and quarter, like the colonial rebels that they are. Not even a luck luster game from Nighthawks T.Y. Hilton (WR) could stop the Helmand soar. Nighthawks continue their march toward greatness as they pummel the Taipans 133 - 88.

Who let the Drunk Monkeys come out and play? Does it matter when you score over 190 points in the weekend, and hold a 150 point lead on Monday night before seven (Count them - seven!) Black Cats finally show up? Oh my, this game was over before any protesters unfurled their banner. Monkeys begun on Thursday night with Dion Lewis (RB) on a double digit scoring blitz. Drunk Ass Monkeys lowest scoring receiver was Travis Kelce (TE) who scored more points than two wide receivers for the Black Cats combined. Combined!! Oh the humanity. Black Cats slip ever further back in the dank pit with the Taipans at the bottom of ladder as they succumb to a statement game from Coach Gargarmel.

"Yeay, how about them apples b******, screw you guys, I'm going home with a win."

Drunk Monkeys beat up the Black Cats 191, a record score for them, to Black Cats 106.

Our match of the day, saw the Guns of Hochuli hosting the Who Dat Nation Rises Again, umm, again. Gunners had the scare of their season last week when they nearly lost to the Drunk Monkeys in a close game. Coming home to host the Oregon Based Nation, this game could have been far worst than the close scoreline described. The Gunners left QB Eli Manning on the bench, who scored an incredible 54.50 points.

Worst still, the Who Dat Nation left Drew Brees (QB) also on the bench, giving away 66.30 points. 66 points?

The statisticians are still combined the history points to find out if any single player has scored that many points previously. (We don't think so.) Those two players, sitting on the interchange bench, could have changed the entire complex of the Sub Simmers division and the league. As it was, the Gunners get over the Who Dat Nation Rises 169 - 145, and advance to 5-3.

This weeks result upset the apple cart in the Sub Simmers division so we'll start there first. The win by the Guns of Hoculi puts them level with the Who Dat Nation, but, the Gunners are 4-0 within the division, while the Nation is only 1-2. Who Dat is going to have meet and beat both divisional rivals by the end of the season if they want to have a chance at the #2 seed. The win by the Drunk Monkeys lifts them to 3-5, and while two games behind, they have yet to win a divisional game at 0-3.

Over in the Surface Skimmers division, it's all Nighthawks soaring. The Nighthawks retain the #1 seed at 7-1, a two game lead over the league. The Nighthawks are about 1 and a half games out from securing the first play off seed. It's daylight second and then Taipans and the Black Cats at 2-6 tie off the bottom of the league. Both the Taipans and the Black Cats can still make the Championship bracket, but they really need to winning.

Week 9 comes down with the choice of which game to choose for match of the week. It is clearly the high scoring match up of the Helmand Nighthawks and the Guns of Hochuli. The Gunners will be hosting the Nighthawks in a major battle, which could end up deciding the leagues #1 seed, and began the elimination of teams from the play offs. We'll have all the action here next week, with all the broadcast news, and all the diabolic performances.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

We have only to look at the one player who kept their teams playof chances alive, despite not scoring a touchdown. For the effort of 8 receptions for 168 yards and 30.80 points, the Associated Subsim Writers are pleased to present Demarius Thomas of the Drunk Monkeys the Week Eight MVT.

11-03-15, 12:28 AM	#13
Gut Wrench Watch Officer Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Everywhere Posts: 342 Downloads: 0 Uploads: 0	GARGAMEL DRUNK OVER WIN Cats Choke with 7 on Monday Night Week 8 in the Subsim Fantasy Football League, and we get to show off one of the biggest upsets of the year. We'll talk about the biggest game this week that looked closer than the scoreline indicated, and we'll examine how one team got skinned alive...even though it took till well after midnight to finally resolve the last points of the week. But before we resolve anything, we have to do this. DONATE TO SUBSIM SUBSIM...OR BERNARD STARTS ON YOUR TEAM NEXT WEEK. The talk of my appearances at Talledega were much maligned, however, I did get a selfie with Danica. Can anyone really stand in the way of the Nighthawks? The Taipans sure as hell can't. As the Taipans make their second journey on the longest away game ever, they land in jolly old England to take on the Nighthawks. The Nighthawks disposed of one divisional rival last week for the second time in the season, and were looking to make it two from two with the Taipans. The Taipans have been slithering down the league ladder week after week, sometimes just losing, other times getting skinned alive. This week, they were pecked, torn and quarter, like the colonial rebels that they are. Not even a luck luster game from Nighthawks T.Y. Hilton (WR) could stop the Helmand soar. Nighthawks continue their march toward greatness as they pummel the Taipans 133 - 88. Who let the Drunk Monkeys come out and play? Does it matter when you score over 190 points in the weekend, and hold a 150 point lead on Monday night before seven (Count them - seven!) Black Cats finally show up? Oh my, this game was over before any protesters unfurled their banner. Monkeys begun on Thursday night with Dion Lewis (RB) on a double digit scoring blitz. Drunk Ass Monkeys lowest scoring receiver was Travis Kelce (TE) who scored more points than two wide receivers for the Black Cats combined. Combined!! Oh the humanity. Black Cats slip ever further back in the dank pit with the Taipans at the bottom of ladder as they succumb to a statement game from Coach Gargarmel. "Yeay, how about them apples b******, screw you guys, I'm going home with a win." Drunk Monkeys beat up the Black Cats 191, a record score for them, to Black Cats 106. Our match of the day, saw the Guns of Hochuli hosting the Who Dat Nation Rises Again, umm, again. Gunners had the scare of their season last week when they nearly lost to the Drunk Monkeys in a close game. Coming home to host the Oregon Based Nation, this game could have been far worst than the close scoreline described. The Gunners left QB Eli Manning on the bench, who scored an incredible 54.50 points. Worst still, the Who Dat Nation left Drew Brees (QB) also on the bench, giving away 66.30 points. 66 points? The statisticians are still combined the history points to find out if any single player has scored that many points previously. (We don't think so.) Those two players, sitting on the interchange bench, could have changed the entire complex of the Sub Simmers division and the league. As it was, the Gunners get over the Who Dat Nation Rises 169 - 145, and advance to 5-3. This weeks result upset the apple cart in the Sub Simmers division so we'll start there first. The win by the Guns of Hoculi puts them level with the Who Dat Nation, but, the Gunners are 4-0 within the division, while the Nation is only 1-2. Who Dat is going to have meet and beat both divisional rivals by the end of the season if they want to have a chance at the #2 seed. The win by the Drunk Monkeys lifts them to 3-5, and while two games behind, they have yet to win a divisional game at 0-3. Over in the Surface Skimmers division, it's all Nighthawks soaring. The Nighthawks retain the #1 seed at 7-1, a two game lead over the league. The Nighthawks are about 1 and a half games out from securing the first play off seed. It's daylight second and then Taipans and the Black Cats at 2-6 tie off the bottom of the league. Both the Taipans and the Black Cats can still make the Championship bracket, but they really need to winning. Week 9 comes down with the choice of which game to choose for match of the week. It is clearly the high scoring match up of the Helmand Nighthawks and the Guns of Hochuli. The Gunners will be hosting the Nighthawks in a major battle, which could end up deciding the leagues #1 seed, and began the elimination of teams from the play offs. We'll have all the action here next week, with all the broadcast news, and all the diabolic performances. Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance. We have only to look at the one player who kept their teams playof chances alive, despite not scoring a touchdown. For the effort of 8 receptions for 168 yards and 30.80 points, the Associated Subsim Writers are pleased to present Demarius Thomas of the Drunk Monkeys the Week Eight MVT.