Ferguson

[Oberon]

Originally Posted by HunterICX

Ow I totally agree it's something that can't be helped, however an effort is required from the parents when your kid is absorbing the things he encounters like a sponge is to show him what's right, wrong, what's dangerous and help to steer him into the right direction however that does mean that you'll have to let him at time to face the consequences of his actions in a way or form.

Indeed, but there's the giant crushing factor of society and in particular peer pressure that you have to factor in. Never underestimate the lengths that a child will go to in order to avoid being cast into the unpopular crowd, and to avoid bullying. Shop-lifting, smoking, drugs...a child may have a perfect up-bringing but once they hit school, that's when the parents start to lose control. Then, just when you think things can't get any worse...puberty hits and all hell breaks loose.

Ah yes the minesweeper of parenting,

I'm strongly against child abuse and it sickens me when I read these horror cases where a child later is found in a plastic bag cut in pieces by its own parents where the child protective service really messed up by not acting after warnings from the people in the neighbourhood having 3 visits by representatives that reported signs that the child was in danger but didn't act upon it and well...you get that.

However I'm not against a slap on the wrist as imho a kick under the butt is a better teacher then being warned that if you continue to misbehave you'll get no desert. Not saying you should be kicked under your butt as soon you start doing something bad but know there's a limit when it comes to verbal warnings to stop your misbehaviour.

As you mentioned kids are smart enough that they know what will happen when they report this to child protective service and will abuse this by telling lies which will be a stain on the parents for a long time.

Like I said it's a minesweeper when it comes to parenting.

Indeed, one of the biggest minefields out there. I was smacked...twice I think, once by my father because I ran out into the middle of a road, and once by my mother...I can't actually remember the reason why, but I learnt my lesson. Otherwise it was 'the voice' that kept me in control. I think that the fact that my mother had nearly two decades in animal welfare before she gave birth to me probably helped her a great deal in the long run when I was growing up!

It'll suprise you how much you'll take from your own parents into raising your own kids but you'll probably change some things, my dad always said he'll never be like his father however when it came to raising us he did exactly raise us like his father raised him making sure we're well provided for with our necessities, drawing clear lines about rules and do's and dont's but never unfair. My mom would be the emotional pillar and took great care when one of us fell ill. Funny is that I notice in myself that I have the rational thoughts and desire for a certain amount of order from my father's side but yet I do have the emotional caring and support of my mother's side.
It's funny how those things can colide within thyself

Oh aye, I've taken a lot from my mother, not so much from my father as I only spent eight years with him before the divorce, but I have picked up this and that from him, definitely my love of trains and buses, that's for certain.
There's no doubt that your parents leave an indelible mark on you, after all, they are the ones that spend the most time with you when you are at your most impressionable age. This is one of the reason I fail to understand those rich people who farm out their children to nannies and creches, and then wonder why the child rejects them at a later age.

Aye..the poor do not have the luxury that the rich have and tend to be look at differently through the eyes of society. One ends up in the newspaper the other in some tabloid/glamour magazine (and you can fill in which one ends up in one and the other) it's pethatic how the mayority as you said enjoy a good bit of poverty porn and judge them for what they are when they misbehave instead of what they did. I judge on what you did as a person not caring how much money you own or titles you have.

You poor?
Far from it..

Oh goodness, I wasn't referring to me, I mean I'm not well off but I'm not what I would call poor, not in the grand scheme of things. I meant those people who look at things like 'Benefits street' to give them a sense of superiority over those who are even more poor, a bit like the old Two Ronnies sketch: