I think that's fifty/fifty really, I mean you can raise a kid to be an absolute angel, but as soon as he/she gets outside of your house and control then there's nothing you can do but try to pick up the pieces when they return, it's the old nature vs nurture thing.
Ow I totally agree it's something that can't be helped, however an effort is required from the parents when your kid is absorbing the things he encounters like a sponge is to show him what's right, wrong, what's dangerous and help to steer him into the right direction however that does mean that you'll have to let him at time to face the consequences of his actions in a way or form.
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It's also a bit of a catch-22 situation, some parents are afraid to discipline their children out of fear of catching the ire of social services, it's even worse if you happen to be fostering a child and they decide to lie and tell social services that you've been abusing them. It's a bit like that South Park episode 'The Wacky Molestation Adventure', and once you've got that black mark on your record it's a hell of a fight to get rid of it. However, equally there is no doubt that there are plenty of parents (both foster and non-foster) out there that DO abuse their children, and as such the system has been increasingly tightened so that the state has become a bit twitchy when it comes to the disciplining of children.
Ah yes the minesweeper of parenting,
I'm strongly against child abuse and it sickens me when I read these horror cases where a child later is found in a plastic bag cut in pieces by its own parents where the child protective service really messed up by not acting after warnings from the people in the neighbourhood having 3 visits by representatives that reported signs that the child was in danger but didn't act upon it and well...you get that.
However I'm not against a slap on the wrist as imho a kick under the butt is a better teacher then being warned that if you continue to misbehave you'll get no desert. Not saying you should be kicked under your butt as soon you start doing something bad but know there's a limit when it comes to verbal warnings to stop your misbehaviour.
As you mentioned kids are smart enough that they know what will happen when they report this to child protective service and will abuse this by telling lies which will be a stain on the parents for a long time.
Like I said it's a minesweeper when it comes to parenting.
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Now, when you couple that on to the general attitude of society now that authority figures are to be questioned, not obeyed, then it's small wonder that things are the way they are. Not that I'm excusing the behaviour of some parents or their children, I fully understand the references you make in that there are definitely some parents out there (usually on the Jeremy Kyle show) who struggle to control themselves, let alone their children, and I make no economic background discrimination here, I have seen the children of the rich and the poor and it's got nothing to do with their background as to how the child behaves (in fact, some rich peoples kids are worse than kids from a council estate ) but as always when the media spotlight falls upon the behaviour of children it will fall upon those from poor families on council estates, because there is nothing like a good bit of
to make you feel better about yourself (I may be poor, but at least I'm not as bad as those losers). After all, as I mentioned earlier, during the 2011 riots one of the many people arrested after the incident was a millionaires daughter who was at university.
It'll suprise you how much you'll take from your own parents into raising your own kids but you'll probably change some things, my dad always said he'll never be like his father however when it came to raising us he did exactly raise us like his father raised him making sure we're well provided for with our necessities, drawing clear lines about rules and do's and dont's but never unfair. My mom would be the emotional pillar and took great care when one of us fell ill. Funny is that I notice in myself that I have the rational thoughts and desire for a certain amount of order from my father's side but yet I do have the emotional caring and support of my mother's side.
It's funny how those things can colide within thyself
Aye..the poor do not have the luxury that the rich have and tend to be look at differently through the eyes of society. One ends up in the newspaper the other in some tabloid/glamour magazine (and you can fill in which one ends up in one and the other) it's pethatic how the mayority as you said enjoy a good bit of poverty porn and judge them for what they are when they misbehave instead of what they did. I judge on what you did as a person not caring how much money you own or titles you have.
08-14-14, 05:31 AM
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