The Bilge

[Tango589]

I thought the life of a bilge rat was going to be a good one, instead I'll we've had is bilge stew, bilge brew, threats of mutiny, history lessons and the worst cheese buffet ever. Oh yes, and me being 'hazed' with my own oil can by the Bilges' padre.

When does the party start?

[Wolferz]

Originally Posted by Tango589

I thought the life of a bilge rat was going to be a good one, instead I'll we've had is bilge stew, bilge brew, threats of mutiny, history lessons and the worst cheese buffet ever. Oh yes, and me being 'hazed' with my own oil can by the Bilges' padre.

When does the party start?

Lay off the Bilge Brew, son. We're deep into the after party at the moment.
Sober up ya scallywags.
We just got orders to head out on patrol.

Ahhh, deep water. That should curtail any more of Armistead's shenanigans.
Speaking of which... You have something in an earth tone hue on your chin.

[Wolferz]

Originally Posted by Aktungbby

C'mon I was merciful: no rattus rattus and our contribution to the Black Death from me! As for 'padre'??!! Deification of a bilgerat iss verboten!

We only hear newbs screaming, Oh God!, Oh God! when the Padre gets ahold of them. Easily fixed. The transfer paperwork is en route to HQ.
He's going to be the spiritual attache' to the President. I hear he likes his vespers from behind.

As for you my dear Armistead,
As you were. Save the rage for the enemas.

[Armistead]

Wolferz....I'm sorrr...sorrrrrr....I was wron......, I erred. I never liked Aktungbby...I consider him a humbug, a man of small capacity, very obstinate, not at all chivalrous, exceedingly conceited, and totally selfish.
His plans were not a fair fight, but a mere murder....I cannot kill a fellow rat, not now, I would rather fall on my sword....

To be honest, I'm not sure anymore of myself, my abilities. I can't spell, I confuse words, my prostate is swollen, I even dribble. My wife looks at me out of the corner of her eye with a look of disgust. Was I ever great to start with is the question?

Please, no punishment....maybe I need to be indoctrinated over.

I EXPOSE myself to you and your domination.......{I'm southern baptist}

[Aktungbby]

Originally Posted by Armistead

I never liked Aktungbby...I consider him a humbug, a man of small capacity, very obstinate, not at all chivalrous, exceedingly conceited, and totally selfish.

The very(required) definition of a bilgerat rat initiate, as set forth in the CC&R's of the Bilgerat Code; I'm appalled you left out misanthropic; it has taken me decades to become such; having started out with mere bigotry: against lab rats, tunnel rats, THE rat pack, swamp rats and lesser rodentia...all the way to full-fledged Misanthrope!

...I cannot kill a fellow rat, not now, I would rather fall on my sword....

HMMM NOW Where did this fresh idea spring from suddenly? remember: when 'offing' thusly, to consider the gravity of the situation. Don't make a muck of it! The Japs generally have a buddy to keep it tidy!

To be honest, I'm not sure anymore of myself,... I even dribble

Honesty is an impermissible virtue in a bilgerat! You may recall at the initiation you are required to show capacity to lie-even unto to yourself-Prevarication and pure hokum are the benchmarks of our fellowship...ie keep telling yourself that sword is a very long one...at our age, any dribble is a good dribble-keep your aim true!

[Armistead]

Aktung, thrown into the pile of forgotten rat skeletons...Maybe Wolferz will show mercy to you. He's like that German officer in that movie that got off saying "I'm merciful." if it makes him feel powerful. Don't forget to kiss the ring when he extends his hand....the ring Aktung...

Anyway, I've got to replace that leaking flange where the sewer keeps leaking out....

[Wolferz]

Originally Posted by Armistead

Aktung, thrown into the pile of forgotten rat skeletons...Maybe Wolferz will show mercy to you. He's like that German officer in that movie that got off saying "I'm merciful." if it makes him feel powerful. Don't forget to kiss the ring when he extends his hand....the ring Aktung...

Anyway, I've got to replace that leaking flange where the sewer keeps leaking out....

You told me you finished that repair a week ago. The sewage leaking into the galley wasn't whetting any appetites for Donna's cooking.
Must be why everything has been served burnt. She's minding the stove from the conning tower couch, like my dear wife does at home.
I swear they were both misnamed at birth. Should have been named Peggy instead of Donna.

Oh well, back to the crap game.

PS: Most of the crew likes to kiss my Precious.

[Armistead]

Had to order real caulking, donna's oatmeal didn't last...

[Armistead]

Originally Posted by Aktungbby

C'mon I was merciful: no rattus rattus and our contribution to the Black Death from me! As for 'padre'??!! Deification of a bilgerat iss verboten!

You disgust me entirely! To think I put myself behind you.....You cant even speak American....You're more of a let down than my ex-wife. The betrayal, the evil of it...if I want that I'll go back to the Christian Forum..

Et tu, Aktung, Et tu?

Do I have one friend left....ONE, that will speak on my behalf?

[Jimbuna]

Probably not....are we all done now?

[Wolferz]

Heel,
It's all good. This isn't the first time you've played Larry the Lobster, threatening with your big claws and ultimately flipping that tail to propel you backwards out of harms way.

Be careful next time and don't bite off more cheese than you can chew. Especially with that working girl you hired.
Our English cousins are our allies so try not to get their knickers in a twist.
Jimbuna gets exceedingly teste if you do that.

C'mere ya crazy galoot. You gets a big ol' sloppy Bugs Bunny smooch.

Now, how about getting back on your oar?

[Armistead]

Thanks Wolferz...and for your hugs of FRIENDSHIP {note Jimbuna}

Just been so much going on down here in the bilge.....I'm gonna go to the head, get some ....clean water and make you a fresh pot of coffee..

[Wolferz]

Originally Posted by Armistead

Thanks Wolferz...and for your hugs of FRIENDSHIP {note Jimbuna}

Just been so much going on down here in the bilge.....I'm gonna go to the head, get some ....clean water and make you a fresh pot of coffee..

Don't worry yourself.
Donna just made me a pot with a happy ending. Woo Hoo!

[Armistead]

Originally Posted by Wolferz

Don't worry yourself.
Donna just made me a pot with a happy ending. Woo Hoo!

but donna always made coffee for just me...I think youre pushing your leadership a lil far....we hugged and I'm still Chairman with all the power that implies...Let it be a truce.....you can have donna, she's too hairy for me now anyway.....I'll let fireftr take her position under me...