The Rose of Doom (BALZ) - Page 3

Jimbuna · 01-24-11, 07:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by krashkart

That's priceless.

Absolutely

Brag · 02-06-11, 03:57 PM

The sound man's plot indicated U-321's posiition was perfect as it drifted in total silence, in perfect trim, undetectable.
Beautiful, beautiful,Balz said to himself as he heard the lead escort get past their position. With this calm sea he should be able to easily bag a couple of ships.
"Now warship approaching," The sound man whispered.
"Is it a zig or a zag?" Balz asked.
"Must be the zig before the zag."
"Sure is not the zag after the zig?"
"Ships don´t zig zig," Bernard joined the discussion.
"Don´t be stupid Bernard. "The subject being discussed has nothing to do with zig zigs."
"Why not?" Bernard asked.
Because that escort is not zig zigging. And the escort is the subject of our undivided, concentrated attention."
Prrrng, prrrng, prrrng reverberated throughout the submarine.
"What´s that?" Bernard asked.
Balz grimaced. "Telephone."
"Telephone? Who would be calling?" Bernard asked.
"Winston Churchill, you idiot."

Once again, the escort with superior powers has discovered Balz and frustrated another attack. Has Balz met his match?

Missing Name · 02-06-11, 04:02 PM

I say the maneuver is a ziggle zaggle.

Gargamel · 02-06-11, 04:57 PM

Hello?

No the Fuhrer is not in right now, can I take a message?

frau kaleun · 02-06-11, 06:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Missing Name

I say the maneuver is a ziggle zaggle.

Let's hope it's not the shiziggle.

papa_smurf · 02-07-11, 06:47 AM

Quote:

Prrrng, prrrng, prrrng reverberated throughout the submarine.
"What´s that?" Bernard asked.
Balz grimaced. "Telephone."
"Telephone? Who would be calling?" Bernard asked.
"Winston Churchill, you idiot."

So are Balz and Mr Churchill on first name terms?

krashkart · 02-09-11, 02:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by frau kaleun

Let's hope it's not the shiziggle.

Now wait a minizzle. Before long the ziggle zaggle will become a shiziggle, then the frishizzle hits the fanizzle.

frau kaleun · 02-09-11, 02:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by krashkart

Now wait a minizzle. Before long the ziggle zaggle will become a shiziggle, then the frishizzle hits the fanizzle.

But does the ashcan drop, the wabo, the wabo, does the wasserbomb drop and you don't stop?

Brag · 02-16-11, 02:15 PM

The prosecution continued. The escorts only left, after the tail end Charlies following the convoy at a distance, joined the attack. Bosun Woijek who had the job of counting the Wabos, had to sharpen his pencil several times. "Don´t the ever run out of charges?" He asked.
"You will run out of pencils first," Balz said, putting on a fresh tea cozy on his head. The other two were soaked with sweat.

After a whole night of boom boom kaboom directed at him, Balz was inspired to write the Rose of Doom hoochie woochie song.

Boom boom kaboom
It´s the Rose of Doom
Who who does the kaboom
Hoochie woochie.

Shortly after he finished his poetic opus, the British ships left the area. "The hoochie woochie never fails," Balz said. "Now we'll return to our relentless pursuit of that bothersome convoy. The hunt is on."

By evening, U321 was again in attack position. Balz ordered periscope depth.
After half an hour the sound man said, "Still negative contact."
"We´ll move five miles to the east, they are probably moving straight north now. Surface."

On the next dive, the sea remained as quiet as Churchill listening to the shipping news.

"We lost the convoy, we lost the convoy." Bernard ran back and forth tearing at his hair.
"We'll start our lost convoy procedure," Balz said and handed a disk to the radioman. "Play this on the gramophone.

The Funker did as ordered.

Sailor Steve · 02-16-11, 03:20 PM

O-Ho and Aha! Balz now comes with surround-sound. Hip-Hip - Huzzah!

Jimbuna · 02-16-11, 04:40 PM

Quote:

On the next dive, the sea remained as quiet as Churchill listening to the shipping news.

LOL

Gargamel · 02-16-11, 05:45 PM

Dr. Strangelove?

Jimbuna · 02-16-11, 06:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gargamel

Dr. Strangelove?

No....he died with the bomb

Brag · 02-19-11, 12:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jimbuna

No....he died with the bomb

Did the bomb die, too?

Brag · 02-19-11, 01:13 PM

05 September 1941

From U321 KM
To Prime Minister W. Churchill

Letter of protest.

Dear Sir,
Beginning with 16 Aug of this year and ending on 19 August of this same year, we were cruising quietly, very quietly minding our own business when we were attacked without provocation by one of your corvettes.

More unprovoked attacks followed. During one night, your vessels, which did not rule waves as there weren´t any, dropped 204 Wabos which in Japanese after translated to English means Wasserbomben in German.

Like I mentioned above, we were politely quiet. But on our boat it was impossible to sleep due to the loutish football hooligan behaviour of your vessels kabooming into the wee hours of the night.

This bothersome activity caused my second officer, Bernard, to fart through his shoe,and the shoe to smoke. As you probably know smoking while submerged is not authorized in the KM.

You will be happy to know I am safely in Lorient wearing smokeless shoes and preparing a party with dancing bananas. My mother sent me a Carmen Miranda tea cozy, which I will wear at the party.

Yours faithfuly,

K.L. Johan Sebastian Balz KM
The greatest Teutonic hero of all time.

02-06-11, 03:57 PM	#32
Brag Navy Seal Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Docked on a Russian pond Posts: 7,072 Downloads: 2 Uploads: 0	The sound man's plot indicated U-321's posiition was perfect as it drifted in total silence, in perfect trim, undetectable. Beautiful, beautiful,Balz said to himself as he heard the lead escort get past their position. With this calm sea he should be able to easily bag a couple of ships. "Now warship approaching," The sound man whispered. "Is it a zig or a zag?" Balz asked. "Must be the zig before the zag." "Sure is not the zag after the zig?" "Ships don´t zig zig," Bernard joined the discussion. "Don´t be stupid Bernard. "The subject being discussed has nothing to do with zig zigs." "Why not?" Bernard asked. Because that escort is not zig zigging. And the escort is the subject of our undivided, concentrated attention." Prrrng, prrrng, prrrng reverberated throughout the submarine. "What´s that?" Bernard asked. Balz grimaced. "Telephone." "Telephone? Who would be calling?" Bernard asked. "Winston Churchill, you idiot." Once again, the escort with superior powers has discovered Balz and frustrated another attack. Has Balz met his match? __________________ Espionage, adventure, suspense, are just a click away Click here to look inside Brag's book: Amazon.com: Kingmaker: Alexey Braguine: Books Order Kingmaker here: http://www.subsim.com/store.html For Tactics visit:http://www.freewebs.com/kielman/

02-06-11, 04:02 PM	#33
Missing Name Seasoned Skipper Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: Westun New Yahk Posts: 748 Downloads: 131 Uploads: 0	I say the maneuver is a ziggle zaggle. __________________ Largest target sunk with deck gun: Japanese auxiliary cruiser, 15000 tons Largest engaged: HMS Nelson. Results inconclusive. Read Brag's stuff

02-06-11, 04:57 PM	#34
Gargamel Lucky Sailor Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: Rome Posts: 4,273 Downloads: 81 Uploads: 0	Hello? No the Fuhrer is not in right now, can I take a message? __________________ Luck is a residue of Design.

02-16-11, 02:15 PM	#39
Brag Navy Seal Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Docked on a Russian pond Posts: 7,072 Downloads: 2 Uploads: 0	The prosecution continued. The escorts only left, after the tail end Charlies following the convoy at a distance, joined the attack. Bosun Woijek who had the job of counting the Wabos, had to sharpen his pencil several times. "Don´t the ever run out of charges?" He asked. "You will run out of pencils first," Balz said, putting on a fresh tea cozy on his head. The other two were soaked with sweat. After a whole night of boom boom kaboom directed at him, Balz was inspired to write the Rose of Doom hoochie woochie song. Boom boom kaboom It´s the Rose of Doom Who who does the kaboom Hoochie woochie. Shortly after he finished his poetic opus, the British ships left the area. "The hoochie woochie never fails," Balz said. "Now we'll return to our relentless pursuit of that bothersome convoy. The hunt is on." By evening, U321 was again in attack position. Balz ordered periscope depth. After half an hour the sound man said, "Still negative contact." "We´ll move five miles to the east, they are probably moving straight north now. Surface." On the next dive, the sea remained as quiet as Churchill listening to the shipping news. "We lost the convoy, we lost the convoy." Bernard ran back and forth tearing at his hair. "We'll start our lost convoy procedure," Balz said and handed a disk to the radioman. "Play this on the gramophone. The Funker did as ordered. __________________ Espionage, adventure, suspense, are just a click away Click here to look inside Brag's book: Amazon.com: Kingmaker: Alexey Braguine: Books Order Kingmaker here: http://www.subsim.com/store.html For Tactics visit:http://www.freewebs.com/kielman/

02-16-11, 03:20 PM	#40
Sailor Steve Eternal Patrol Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: High in the mountains of Utah Posts: 50,369 Downloads: 745 Uploads: 249	O-Ho and Aha! Balz now comes with surround-sound. Hip-Hip - Huzzah! __________________ “Never do anything you can't take back.” —Rocky Russo

02-16-11, 05:45 PM	#42
Gargamel Lucky Sailor Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: Rome Posts: 4,273 Downloads: 81 Uploads: 0	Dr. Strangelove? __________________ Luck is a residue of Design.

02-19-11, 01:13 PM	#45
Brag Navy Seal Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Docked on a Russian pond Posts: 7,072 Downloads: 2 Uploads: 0	05 September 1941 From U321 KM To Prime Minister W. Churchill Letter of protest. Dear Sir, Beginning with 16 Aug of this year and ending on 19 August of this same year, we were cruising quietly, very quietly minding our own business when we were attacked without provocation by one of your corvettes. More unprovoked attacks followed. During one night, your vessels, which did not rule waves as there weren´t any, dropped 204 Wabos which in Japanese after translated to English means Wasserbomben in German. Like I mentioned above, we were politely quiet. But on our boat it was impossible to sleep due to the loutish football hooligan behaviour of your vessels kabooming into the wee hours of the night. This bothersome activity caused my second officer, Bernard, to fart through his shoe,and the shoe to smoke. As you probably know smoking while submerged is not authorized in the KM. You will be happy to know I am safely in Lorient wearing smokeless shoes and preparing a party with dancing bananas. My mother sent me a Carmen Miranda tea cozy, which I will wear at the party. Yours faithfuly, K.L. Johan Sebastian Balz KM The greatest Teutonic hero of all time. __________________ Espionage, adventure, suspense, are just a click away Click here to look inside Brag's book: Amazon.com: Kingmaker: Alexey Braguine: Books Order Kingmaker here: http://www.subsim.com/store.html For Tactics visit:http://www.freewebs.com/kielman/