Missing (BALZ)

[frau kaleun]

We now know where Herr Balz gets his tea cozies from, either that or hes gone into tea cozy production

Silly wabbits, those tea cosies were being returned for a refund. Balz has upgraded.

[Brag]

Originally Posted by frau kaleun

Silly wabbits, those tea cosies were being returned for a refund. Balz has upgraded.

Bwa ha ha ha hoochies

Ghasp

[Herr-Berbunch]

I'm tuned, I'm tuned

[papa_smurf]

Hows Balz going to explain this to Doenitz when/if he gets back to Germany

[Jimbuna]

Sounds to me like someone made a 'Balz up'

[Schöneboom]

I sense an idea for a sitcom: "Balz's Island"

"Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip..."

[papa_smurf]

I sense an idea for a sitcom: "Balz's Island"

"Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip..."

And each episode ends with the line...."BERNARRRD!!!!

[Rhodes]

Originally Posted by Schöneboom

I sense an idea for a sitcom: "Balz's Island"

"Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip..."

Zee Boat Zee Boatttt!

[frau kaleun]

Originally Posted by Schöneboom

"Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip..."

...That started from a Gallic port
Aboard a tiny ship.

The mates were mighty sailin' men
The skipper brave and sure
But the IWO was named Bernard -
A disease that has no cure
A disease that has no cure

The Tommies started playing rough
A load of bombs they tossed
They missed Bernard - now that's a shame
The u-boat could be lost
The u-boat could be lost

The ship's aground on the shore of this
Uncharted tropic isle
With young Bernard
The skipper too
His forty thieves
And hoochie girls
The skipper said
"My tea co-zees, if you please -
I'll call this Balz's Isle."

So this is the tale of our castaways
They're here 'til who knows when
They'll have to wait 'til Brag shows up
To bring things to an end

The sailors and their skipper too
Will do their very best
To lose Bernard in the jungle there
Right near a hornet's nest

No food, no schnapps, no Frau Kaleun
Poor Balzie has a sad
But if they could just shake Bernard
It wouldn't be too bad

So join us here on Subsim, friends
You're sure to get a smile
From our hoochie woochie castaways
Here on Balz's Isle!

[Brag]

Lt. Schmenk continues his tale:

The airplane was gone. Our crew worked fast removing the life rafts from the casing. The sea was calm and people kept popping out of the hatches.
The stern was below the surface and water reached the conning tower. Our ship was going down.
Two people lifted me and placed me in a raft as water reached the forward hatch.

I didn´t know if I was the senior officer surviving. The glow of phosphorense indicated the spot where U-123 had stood. The sea was deadly still, only the gurgle of bubbles broke the silence of the night.

"Roll call," I ordered.
The bosun, who knew the crew list by heart, started calling out names.

With great sadness, I remembered the excentricities of our captain. His tea cozies, his music, his unrestrained ego.
"Zwei Matrosen confirmed as dead. Only our Komandant is missing," the bosun said after the roll call.

"Am I missing something? Besides my boat, my tea cozy collection and my fine Habana cigars?" Balz said from another raft. "Now, tie our rafts together, make an inventory of the supplies in each raft, Sanitater, check or injured people. Choir, be ready to perform at sunrise."

With an oar, the Sanitater fixed a splint for my leg. Morphine eased the pain and I could start thinking clearly.

By 10:30 the sun was beating hard on our pale-faced crew.
"Shiff gesichted," one of our duty lookouts announced.
On the horizon, a number of smoke smudges appeared.

"It's a convoy," someone said.

Stay tuned for more Balz.

[krashkart]

Balz Lives!

[papa_smurf]

[Jimbuna]

Might even be Somali Pirates

[Brag]

"Shall I plot an intercept course?" Bernard asked.
"Ja, you do that," Balz said while studying the convoy with binoculars. "Then start rowing into attack position." He removed his smoking jacket and tea cozy. "We don´t want those buggers to see us."
"Being taken prisoner by the Brits is a better option than dying on a life raft," I said.
"Surrender to the Brits?" Balz made a farting sound. "That lacks hoochie woochie. Even in the wretched state we are in, I am the great Balz and still armed and dangerous." He waved a P-38 pistol.

For a while, we could see the mast of a corvette, then we were again alone, a spot of black rafts in the huge immensity of the ocean.

That night we got soaked by a tropical shower. It got cold but we were able to collect water. The predominant wind was easterly and each hour it pushed us further away from the African coast. People would say we died a heroic death. not slowly like miserable castaways. A simple signal rocket would have saved us when that convoy was nearby.

If I could only take that pistol away from Balz...


Stay tuned for the next exciting Balz episode.