Funny sub stories....post one.

[Bubblehead1980]

I have a good one about the Wahoo but waiting to post until I get home and can get it out of the book instead of going on memory...

[DaveyJ576]

Ok, here is a real no shi**er!

On board the old USS Darter (SS-576) one of my best friends was Big Mike, a MM2 in the A-gang who was well known as being a heavy sleeper. One day while underway off Japan, Big Mike was passed out in his rack in the after battery crews berthing, clad only in his white scivvie shorts as the temp in berthing tended to run well into the 80's. Another of the A-gangers, Eric, was a stocky, sandy haired youth from northern Minnesota who also happened to be an inveterate practical jokester. Passing through berthing, he noticed Mike passed out on his back and immediately a evil thought ran through his head. Hurrying into the galley, he talked one of the cooks out of a small bottle of red food dye and proceeded back to Mike's rack. Barely able to hold back his laughter, Eric commenced to squirt the red dye all over the crotch and front of Mike's white scivvie shorts.

Eric went about his business, laughing hysterically to himself and barely able to wait for the inevitable. About two hours later, Big Mike wakes up for watch and heads aft to the head to shave. Stepping into the light he looks down and is utterly horrified to find what appears to be a massive blood stain on the front of his shorts. Fearing that there was something seriously wrong with him, he hurredly throws on his coveralls and heads forward to the goat locker to get our only corpsman, Chief Grant. They both head back to the head, which doubled as Doc's makeshift sickbay. Now Doc Grant was a salty old SOB, but never in his life had he seen anyone bleed that much from his privates.

Imagine the scene: Big Mike standing in the head with his coveralls and scivvies on the deck around his ankles and Doc Grant sitting on a stool making a thorough examination. About this time Eric stumbles by the head, barely able to walk as he was laughing so hard. Irritated and wondering what the ******* was so damned funny, Doc and Big Mike look up to see Eric standing in the doorway holding the food dye bottle in his hand, tears running down this cheeks and doubled up in laughter!

Submarine sailors are the William Shakespeares of the swearing world, renowned throughout the fleet as true masters of the dirty word. That day, however, Big Mike set a new high water mark in cussin', as the epithets that roared out of his mouth nearly blistered the paint on the bulkhead. Doc Grant just sighed loudly, leaned back on his stool, and wondered about the sanity of the knuckleheads he went to sea with.

As for Eric's fate at the hands of Big Mike, let's just say that revenge is a dish best served cold!

[Bubblehead1980]

Thanks for sharing, good one.

[Rockin Robbins]

Incredible! Submariners are true diabolical geniuses! I bet I can restart my breathing any time now.

More! More! More Stories!

[Bubblehead1980]

From the book WAHOO by Richard O Kane.

During USS Wahoo's second patrol under command of Marvin G. Kennedy, an I Class submarine(I-15) was spotted, General Quarters were called by the bell and the Captain, who had been in the shower rushed to the conning tower still soapy and wet, wearing only the towel wrapped around his waist.The Captain began his observations, calling bearing, range and AOB, twisting the scope, moving around for good look at target when the towel did it's own version of "down scope", falling off into the periscope well.

The Captain, quite unperturbed, continued his observations "naked as a jaybird" until the mess attendant arrived with pants and a shirt.


The Wahoo soon fired on the I-15 and sank it.

[Dutch]

Originally Posted by DaveyJ576

Ok, here is a real no shi**er!

On board the old USS Darter (SS-576) one of my best friends was Big Mike, a MM2 in the A-gang who was well known as being a heavy sleeper. One day while underway off Japan, Big Mike was passed out in his rack in the after battery crews berthing, clad only in his white scivvie shorts as the temp in berthing tended to run well into the 80's. Another of the A-gangers, Eric, was a stocky, sandy haired youth from northern Minnesota who also happened to be an inveterate practical jokester. Passing through berthing, he noticed Mike passed out on his back and immediately a evil thought ran through his head. Hurrying into the galley, he talked one of the cooks out of a small bottle of red food dye and proceeded back to Mike's rack. Barely able to hold back his laughter, Eric commenced to squirt the red dye all over the crotch and front of Mike's white scivvie shorts.

Eric went about his business, laughing hysterically to himself and barely able to wait for the inevitable. About two hours later, Big Mike wakes up for watch and heads aft to the head to shave. Stepping into the light he looks down and is utterly horrified to find what appears to be a massive blood stain on the front of his shorts. Fearing that there was something seriously wrong with him, he hurredly throws on his coveralls and heads forward to the goat locker to get our only corpsman, Chief Grant. They both head back to the head, which doubled as Doc's makeshift sickbay. Now Doc Grant was a salty old SOB, but never in his life had he seen anyone bleed that much from his privates.

Imagine the scene: Big Mike standing in the head with his coveralls and scivvies on the deck around his ankles and Doc Grant sitting on a stool making a thorough examination. About this time Eric stumbles by the head, barely able to walk as he was laughing so hard. Irritated and wondering what the ******* was so damned funny, Doc and Big Mike look up to see Eric standing in the doorway holding the food dye bottle in his hand, tears running down this cheeks and doubled up in laughter!

Submarine sailors are the William Shakespeares of the swearing world, renowned throughout the fleet as true masters of the dirty word. That day, however, Big Mike set a new high water mark in cussin', as the epithets that roared out of his mouth nearly blistered the paint on the bulkhead. Doc Grant just sighed loudly, leaned back on his stool, and wondered about the sanity of the knuckleheads he went to sea with.

As for Eric's fate at the hands of Big Mike, let's just say that revenge is a dish best served cold!

Originally Posted by Bubblehead1980

From the book WAHOO by Richard O Kane.

During USS Wahoo's second patrol under command of Marvin G. Kennedy, an I Class submarine(I-15) was spotted, General Quarters were called by the bell and the Captain, who had been in the shower rushed to the conning tower still soapy and wet, wearing only the towel wrapped around his waist.The Captain began his observations, calling bearing, range and AOB, twisting the scope, moving around for good look at target when the towel did it's own version of "down scope", falling off into the periscope well.

The Captain, quite unperturbed, continued his observations "naked as a jaybird" until the mess attendant arrived with pants and a shirt.


The Wahoo soon fired on the I-15 and sank it.

:h ar:

[Rockin Robbins]

All right, are we going to let this thread die, or are we going to post silly stories until everyone barfs? I shall make the supreme sacrifice and cough up another story....

Why is a lousy idea to give a submarine a job other than that of sinking enemy shipping? Well, quite simply because the average submariner is so focused on his job he can't be bothered with thinking about anything else, including the value of a 26 pound gold ingot...

REMEMBER THIS USS TROUT?
Early in the war many submarines were assigned various "auxiliary" jobs. One of these fell to the Trout (Fenno), taking ammo. to Corregidor. After most of her torpedoes and ballast were removed, Trout took on over 3500 3" AA shells and delivered them to Corregidor. After unloading the ammunition and taking in ten additional torpedoes and 27000 gallons of fuel oil, it was discovered that Trout needed additional ballast to replace that left at Pearl. The CO requested twenty-five tons of sand bags, but this was denied since there was an urgent need for sand bags at Corregidor. Instead of sand, Trout took on twenty tons of gold and silver, which had been removed from Manila for safekeeping. Upon arrival at Pearl, when the bullion was unloaded, it was discovered that a gold bar, worth $14,500 was missing. A thorough search of the boat finally turned up the missing bar; it was found in the galley where one of the cooks was using it as a paperweight.

True story courtesy of the United States Submarine Veterans of World War II.