Funny sub stories....post one.

[Bubblehead1980]

From the book WAHOO by Richard O Kane.

During USS Wahoo's second patrol under command of Marvin G. Kennedy, an I Class submarine(I-15) was spotted, General Quarters were called by the bell and the Captain, who had been in the shower rushed to the conning tower still soapy and wet, wearing only the towel wrapped around his waist.The Captain began his observations, calling bearing, range and AOB, twisting the scope, moving around for good look at target when the towel did it's own version of "down scope", falling off into the periscope well.

The Captain, quite unperturbed, continued his observations "naked as a jaybird" until the mess attendant arrived with pants and a shirt.


The Wahoo soon fired on the I-15 and sank it.

[Dutch]

Originally Posted by DaveyJ576

Ok, here is a real no shi**er!

On board the old USS Darter (SS-576) one of my best friends was Big Mike, a MM2 in the A-gang who was well known as being a heavy sleeper. One day while underway off Japan, Big Mike was passed out in his rack in the after battery crews berthing, clad only in his white scivvie shorts as the temp in berthing tended to run well into the 80's. Another of the A-gangers, Eric, was a stocky, sandy haired youth from northern Minnesota who also happened to be an inveterate practical jokester. Passing through berthing, he noticed Mike passed out on his back and immediately a evil thought ran through his head. Hurrying into the galley, he talked one of the cooks out of a small bottle of red food dye and proceeded back to Mike's rack. Barely able to hold back his laughter, Eric commenced to squirt the red dye all over the crotch and front of Mike's white scivvie shorts.

Eric went about his business, laughing hysterically to himself and barely able to wait for the inevitable. About two hours later, Big Mike wakes up for watch and heads aft to the head to shave. Stepping into the light he looks down and is utterly horrified to find what appears to be a massive blood stain on the front of his shorts. Fearing that there was something seriously wrong with him, he hurredly throws on his coveralls and heads forward to the goat locker to get our only corpsman, Chief Grant. They both head back to the head, which doubled as Doc's makeshift sickbay. Now Doc Grant was a salty old SOB, but never in his life had he seen anyone bleed that much from his privates.

Imagine the scene: Big Mike standing in the head with his coveralls and scivvies on the deck around his ankles and Doc Grant sitting on a stool making a thorough examination. About this time Eric stumbles by the head, barely able to walk as he was laughing so hard. Irritated and wondering what the ******* was so damned funny, Doc and Big Mike look up to see Eric standing in the doorway holding the food dye bottle in his hand, tears running down this cheeks and doubled up in laughter!

Submarine sailors are the William Shakespeares of the swearing world, renowned throughout the fleet as true masters of the dirty word. That day, however, Big Mike set a new high water mark in cussin', as the epithets that roared out of his mouth nearly blistered the paint on the bulkhead. Doc Grant just sighed loudly, leaned back on his stool, and wondered about the sanity of the knuckleheads he went to sea with.

As for Eric's fate at the hands of Big Mike, let's just say that revenge is a dish best served cold!

Originally Posted by Bubblehead1980

From the book WAHOO by Richard O Kane.

During USS Wahoo's second patrol under command of Marvin G. Kennedy, an I Class submarine(I-15) was spotted, General Quarters were called by the bell and the Captain, who had been in the shower rushed to the conning tower still soapy and wet, wearing only the towel wrapped around his waist.The Captain began his observations, calling bearing, range and AOB, twisting the scope, moving around for good look at target when the towel did it's own version of "down scope", falling off into the periscope well.

The Captain, quite unperturbed, continued his observations "naked as a jaybird" until the mess attendant arrived with pants and a shirt.


The Wahoo soon fired on the I-15 and sank it.

:h ar:

[Rockin Robbins]

All right, are we going to let this thread die, or are we going to post silly stories until everyone barfs? I shall make the supreme sacrifice and cough up another story....

Why is a lousy idea to give a submarine a job other than that of sinking enemy shipping? Well, quite simply because the average submariner is so focused on his job he can't be bothered with thinking about anything else, including the value of a 26 pound gold ingot...

REMEMBER THIS USS TROUT?
Early in the war many submarines were assigned various "auxiliary" jobs. One of these fell to the Trout (Fenno), taking ammo. to Corregidor. After most of her torpedoes and ballast were removed, Trout took on over 3500 3" AA shells and delivered them to Corregidor. After unloading the ammunition and taking in ten additional torpedoes and 27000 gallons of fuel oil, it was discovered that Trout needed additional ballast to replace that left at Pearl. The CO requested twenty-five tons of sand bags, but this was denied since there was an urgent need for sand bags at Corregidor. Instead of sand, Trout took on twenty tons of gold and silver, which had been removed from Manila for safekeeping. Upon arrival at Pearl, when the bullion was unloaded, it was discovered that a gold bar, worth $14,500 was missing. A thorough search of the boat finally turned up the missing bar; it was found in the galley where one of the cooks was using it as a paperweight.

True story courtesy of the United States Submarine Veterans of World War II.

[Bubblehead1980]

I don't want this thread to die but we seem to be with a couple others, only posters.Having said that, i'll add a story soon...

[Bubblehead1980]

I got this one from the book "Pigboat 39" by Bobette Gugilotta.This book details the S-39 in Manila during the pre-war days, after December 7 and her grounding in August 1942 near the Solomon Islands.The author's husband was an Officer aboard the 39 before and after Pearl Harbor.

Anyway, while patroling Albay Gulf in the Philippines in the days after Pearl Harbor, the Captain of S-39, James W. Coe was looking for a way to attack Japanese ships at night.This was before the night surface attack was even part of the training for US sub crews, so they did not have a TBT.This was before US subs had "night scopes" Unlike fleetboats, they did not have activate sonar.So Coe came up with the idea that Guy Gugliotta(author's husband) would take his role as gunnery/torpedo officer to the limit.

Coe decided that the S-39 would submerge and Gugliotta would sit atop the radio mast, use binoculars to sight target and use a crude com system to rely target information.The plan never materialized though, which pleased Gugliotta very much.

[Pacific_Ace]

"This was before the night surface attack was even part of the training for US sub crews, so they did not have a TBT"

Indeed at this point in time Navy doctrine insisted that attacks be done not only submerged, but were to be conducted by sonar only!
This explains the lack of both TBT and night scopes. They got over this bit of silliness pretty quickly however.

[jokerl90]

Here ya go Bubblehead.
Thought you guys might find this interesting.
In 1977 I was stationed on a Knox Class Frigate. Being a Gunners Mate working on an anti-submarine rocket launcher (ASROC),I was in A/S Division which put me standing watch in Sonar Control when underway.
We were undergoing refresher training out of GITMO. During ASW Week we had a US Fast Attack Sub to play war with. I was hanging out in sonar control watching, when a sonar tech named Paul announced he had a contact.The 1st class sonar tech confirmed it and they sent the contact info to sonar's version of fire control in CIC. They simulated firing ACROC on the contact. Then we sent a message to our sub that we had just killed him. He sent a message back that we had missed, not even close. Paul gets upset, won't let it go, he had found a sub dammit! Then the parade began. Our Senior Chief Sonar Tech, A/S Division Officer, the Weapons Officer, XO, Captain all came by for a look. All agreed it was a sub.
We sent another message to the our sub, he took a look at where we said there was a contact.He sent us a message back,"know what guys, there's another sub over there"!
By this time the Soviet sub who had been spying on our little wargame decided the jig was up and he took off with our sub right on his heels.
Our Capt is in sonar, all pumped up. The OOD shows up at Sonar and tells the Capt he has given the contact to our sub. The Capt nearly screams, "you did WHAT!?!? the OOD is shrinking, he says,"sir that's the correct procedure" The Capt is sputtering and shaking, I think getting ready to jump down the OOD's throat and start chewing on something from the inside, when the XO tells him it is indeed proper procedure. The Capt cools off, he doesn't like it, but he cools down.
We had to wait a few days for another sub to come play war with us after that.
Fun and games during the Cold War.

[Rockin Robbins]

Again, from Polaris, the official newsletter of the United States Submarine Veterans of World War II. We often complain about nonsensical behavior of escorts during the game, colliding with each other and other stupid behavior that would NEVER happen in real life

REMEMBER THIS USS TAMBOR?
On the morning of June 5, 1942, at 0215 Tambor (Murphy) was patrolling about 89 miles off Midway when she sighted four large warships. Forewarned that US warships may be in the area, Tambor trailed the formation on a parallel course as she tried to positively identify them. A contact report was sent out at 0300 and as visibility increased slightly, the four were definitely identified as the Japanese heavy cruisers, Sozuyat, Kumanot, Mikuma, and Mogami. With the approach of dawn Tambor was forced to dive. On her next look through the periscope, only two cruisers were in sight, one with a badly damaged bow, and rapidly retreating. At about the time Tambor saw them, they also sighted Tambor. In an emergency turn to the left to avoid Tambor the Mogami rammed Mikuma on the port quarter while making full speed.

OOPS!