Balz gets New Boat--Balz is Back, Balz is Back

[Brag]

Seeming that it would cost me a few bucks I can't afford to fix Balz's career. I petitioned BDU to give Balz U-104 and a new crew.

Lorient 01 October 1940

I was removing a dirty ashtray from the admiral's desk. Doenitz looked at me and asked, "What's that noise coming from the docks?"
"That's Balz auditioning his new crew, Herr Admiral," I answered and placed a clean ashtray in front of him.
"Auditioning?"
"He has two tenors and is looking for a third one."
"He told me he was doing some preliminary acoustics research. A very scientific chap."
"Yes, he says the acoustics in a type IXB are better for his choir."

02 October 1940

"What's that noise?" Admiral Doenitz asked me.
"U-104 is back," I explained.
"But they just left."
"Balz says he needs working up. His choir is not yet ready to sing under combat conditions."

02 November 1940

"Is that Balz again?" The good admiral crushed his cigar in a clean ashtray.
"Yes mein Herr, His choir is drowning out the band at the dock."
"What are they singing?"
"We'll be right back Hoochie-woochie."
When is that Balz going to put to sea and be more agressive?"
"He says by the first of January, his crew will be able to twirl and sing under attack."
The phone rang. The admiral lifted it and said, "Hoochie-woochie, I mean Alo."

[Rotary Crewman]

Noooooooooo!

[Sailor Steve]

As a famous philosopher once said: "Wellllllllll, doggies!"

[fat jez]

OK, you really got me laughing that time, Brag

Cheers,
Stephen

[Fenris_Wolf]

We'll be right back Hoochie-woochie

:rotfl:

Herr Balz...

As a fan and admirer, I must ask you to post the lyrics of

"We'll be right back Hoochie-woochie"

Or perhaps a recording of a performance, if I can be so fortunate.

[Graf Paper]

Balz is back?


Party at the O-club!!


Long live Balz!

At least now I know my eyes weren't playing tricks on me as my boat was casting off for our next patrol. That must have been Balz's new choir candidates boarding his shiny new u-boat...




Weclome back, Herr Kaleun!

[Tango589]

Big up the hoochie-woochie!

[Hanomag]

Balzzzzzzzzzzz!!!

Quit circling the seaport and get underway!!!

[papa_smurf]

And theres me thinking that Herr Balz's career was over................

[Brag]

J.S. Balz writes:

To all my Kamaraden Kaleuns,
Do not despair. As soon as my crew is ready, I will put out to sea and sweep British Shipping off the face of the Atlantic. Thanks to my most effective talent, You will be able to relax on deck chairs and drink beer to my health. When Balz is around, the British tremble. They know that their doom is near when a great Teutonic hero such as myself prowls the sealanes.

Kptlt. Johan Sebastian Balz.

[STEED]

From The Royal Navy

To Balz


Your a big girls blouse you sissy. :p

Bring in on peewee, are guns will blow you into next week. :p :p

[Brag]

Originally Posted by STEED

From The Royal Navy

To Balz


Your a big girls blouse you sissy. :p

Bring in on peewee, are guns will blow you into next week. :p :p

J.S. Balz writes:

To the Royal Navy
03 January 1941
At sea.

Much esteemed gentlemen,
You should feel honoured to have such a superb antagonist as myself. I have just put out to sea and will sweep your sealanes clean of the rustbuckets you call your merchant navy. With my great sense of kindness, consideration and respect, I politely request that you surrender immediately.

In your letter of surrender to the Fuhrer, please mention that you would like me to be your governor. Please make arrangements with Buck House to prepare one of the guest rooms for me. I no longer drink coffee. As a gesture of good will you could send me a tea cozy with the portrait of King George.

You can tell his Majesty that my choir will be happy to perform the hoochie-woochie in Albert Hall.

Sincerely,

Kptlt. Johan Sebastian Balz

[Sailor Steve]

"Was it encoded?"

"No, my lord, it was an open transmission, ostensibly from a German submarine."

"What do you make of it?"

"Make of it, my lord?"

"I didn't get to be First Sea Lord by falling for boyhood tricks! This has to mean something!"

"My lord, perhaps the First Lord of the Admiralty..."

"He's a bloody politician! All he can do is take it to the PM. Damn it, if we don't figure out what this is about, it could cost me my career!"

"My lord, perhaps if we..."

"Do you have any idea who this Balz character is?"

"We've had our best people on it all day, sir. Apparently he's just some low ranking officer in Doenitz's submarine corps."

"Apparently doesn't cut it, Sir Keith. He must be some kind of plant. maybe they're trying to negotiate some kind of peace settlement."

"I don't think so, my lord. Maybe this "Balz" is a wild card, trying to work his way around their war effort."

"So you think he might want to defect to our side? Bring us a u-boat as a token of sincerity?"

"Possibly, sir; but I still think it's some kind of trick."

"Well, get your people on it, Sir Keith. We have to find out what this means."

"Yes, sir. Right away, sir."

"Oh, and Sir Keith?"

"Sir?"

"Have you seen my tea cozy anywhere? I can't think without it."

[Jimbuna]

Originally Posted by Brag

J.S. Balz writes:

To all my Kamaraden Kaleuns,
Do not despair. As soon as my crew is ready, I will put out to sea and sweep British Shipping off the face of the Atlantic. Thanks to my most effective talent, You will be able to relax on deck chairs and drink beer to my health. When Balz is around, the British tremble. They know that their doom is near when a great Teutonic hero such as myself prowls the sealanes.

Kptlt. Johan Sebastian Balz.

We are pis*ng ourselves

[NealT]

I have someone who wants to audition...

His name is Adam and he is just the bomb!

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: