Headlines From The Year: 2029

SUBMAN1 · 02-18-08, 03:08 PM

HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR: 2029

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia former ly known as California. White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.

Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.

Baby conceived naturally. Scientists stumped.

Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

(My personal favorite) Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels

France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica

Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss.

Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.

Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.

Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals, violates their civil rights.

Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches.

New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.

Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.

IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.

Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines.

Brag · 02-18-08, 03:12 PM

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

02-18-08, 03:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SUBMAN1

HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR: 2029
----------------
France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica
----------------

Damn it, you owe me a new keyboard.

Sailor Steve · 02-18-08, 05:01 PM

Quote:

Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches.

And news sources are still getting their facts wrong.

The NBA's tallest player, Zhin-wing Markopolis Sturdyavent, is indeed nine-feet-seven. The average height of NBA players is only eight feet one-and-a-half.

Don't believe everything you read.

SUBMAN1 · 02-18-08, 05:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sailor Steve

Quote:

Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches.

And news sources are still getting their facts wrong.

The NBA's tallest player, Zhin-wing Markopolis Sturdyavent, is indeed nine-feet-seven. The average height of NBA players is only eight feet one-and-a-half.

Don't believe everything you read.

In 2029, with genetic modification of sorts, they will all average that height!

-S

CCIP · 02-18-08, 05:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SUBMAN1

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sailor Steve

Quote:

Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches.

And news sources are still getting their facts wrong.

The NBA's tallest player, Zhin-wing Markopolis Sturdyavent, is indeed nine-feet-seven. The average height of NBA players is only eight feet one-and-a-half.

Don't believe everything you read.

In 2029, with genetic modification of sorts, they will all average that height!

-S

Yea, they'll be modified with cow DNA so that they can be injected with bovine growth hormones instead of human ones for better results

As a side effect, they'll also grow horns :hmm:

Torplexed · 02-18-08, 05:56 PM

And we can all rest assured that in the year 2029, an 82-year old OJ Simpson will still be relentlessly searching for "the real killers".

Somebody que the theme music from "Shaft". :p

SUBMAN1 · 02-18-08, 06:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Torplexed

And we can all rest assured that in the year 2029, an 82-year old OJ Simpson will still be relentlessly searching for "the real killers".

After he gets out of jail for his current crime of course. Oh - I forgot - his civil rights are probably going to be violated by being locked up, so he will be let free!

-S

SUBMAN1 · 02-18-08, 06:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CCIP

Quote:

Originally Posted by SUBMAN1

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sailor Steve

Quote:

Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches.

And news sources are still getting their facts wrong.

The NBA's tallest player, Zhin-wing Markopolis Sturdyavent, is indeed nine-feet-seven. The average height of NBA players is only eight feet one-and-a-half.

Don't believe everything you read.

In 2029, with genetic modification of sorts, they will all average that height!

-S

Yea, they'll be modified with cow DNA so that they can be injected with bovine growth hormones instead of human ones for better results

As a side effect, they'll also grow horns :hmm:

And they will be Mad all the time too! This could get interesting!

-S

sergbuto · 02-18-08, 07:14 PM

Headlines in 2029 will be in Chinese.

STEED · 02-19-08, 06:58 AM

HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR: 2029

STEED is voted in again as World President.

Hey I can dream you know.

We all know there will be no 2029 it will be 1984 every year.

02-18-08, 03:08 PM	#1
SUBMAN1 Rear Admiral Join Date: Apr 2005 Posts: 11,866 Downloads: 0 Uploads: 0	Headlines From The Year: 2029 HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR: 2029 Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia former ly known as California. White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language. Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock. Baby conceived naturally. Scientists stumped. Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage. (My personal favorite) Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking. George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036. Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only. 85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss. Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs. Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut. Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative. Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals, violates their civil rights. Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches. New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036. Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political contributions to campaign accounts. IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent. Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines. __________________

02-18-08, 03:12 PM	#2
Brag Navy Seal Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Docked on a Russian pond Posts: 7,072 Downloads: 2 Uploads: 0	:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: __________________ Espionage, adventure, suspense, are just a click away Click here to look inside Brag's book: Amazon.com: Kingmaker: Alexey Braguine: Books Order Kingmaker here: http://www.subsim.com/store.html For Tactics visit:http://www.freewebs.com/kielman/

02-18-08, 05:56 PM	#7
Torplexed Let's Sink Sumptin' ! Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Seattle, WA Posts: 5,823 Downloads: 43 Uploads: 0	And we can all rest assured that in the year 2029, an 82-year old OJ Simpson will still be relentlessly searching for "the real killers". Somebody que the theme music from "Shaft". :p __________________ --Mobilis in Mobili--

02-18-08, 07:14 PM	#10
sergbuto Pacific Aces Dev Team Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Sweden Posts: 1,331 Downloads: 15 Uploads: 0	Headlines in 2029 will be in Chinese. __________________ Serg's SH4 and SH3 pages

02-19-08, 06:58 AM	#11
STEED Lucky Jack Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Down Town UK Posts: 27,695 Downloads: 89 Uploads: 48	HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR: 2029 STEED is voted in again as World President. Hey I can dream you know. We all know there will be no 2029 it will be 1984 every year. __________________ Dr Who rest in peace 1963-2017. To borrow Davros saying...I NAME YOU CHIBNALL THE DESTROYER OF DR WHO YOU KILLED IT!