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Old 11-07-08, 01:27 AM   #1
GoldenRivet
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Default Third Grade Class President

Got this in the e mail, thought i would share.

========================================

The most important civics lesson I ever learned about America came to me during a recent third grade class I was teaching.

The presidential election between McCain and Obama was heating up and some of the children showed an interest. I decided we would have an election for a c
lass president to teach the kids about the process so they could better understand what they were following on TV. We would choose our nominees. They would make a campaign speech and the class would vote on the best candidate.

To simplify the process, candidates were nominated by other class members. We discussed what kinds of characteristics these students should have. They should be Honest, respectable, kind, and have good grades etc.

We got many nominations and from those
, it was narrowed down to two young children named Jamie, age 9 and Olivia, age 8 who were picked to run for the top spot.

The class had done a great job in their selections
, and seemed to have a pretty good understanding of the governmental processes.

Finally the day arrived when they were to make their speeches and the class would vote.

Jamie went first. He had
very specific and well thought out ideas about how to make our class and even our entire school a better place for the teachers and students alike. He ended his speech by promising "If you elect me i will do my very best to be a good class president". Every one applauded. He sat down and Olivia came to the front of the class.

Her speech was concise
and to the point to say the least.

All she said was.... “If you will vote for me, I will give you
all ice creams.”

that's all she said!!

.
.. and you know what?

the class went ape sh*t wild.

“Yes! Yes! We want ice cream.”
they all said

She surely
had more of a plan than to promise ice cream to the other students!! I was sureshe would say more than this one sentence speech...But... she did not have to.

A brief discussion followed.
... guided of course by me the teacher.

"How do you plan to pay for the ice cream?" i asked Olivia

"Ummm I dont know." she said

"Well... are your mommy and daddy going to buy the ice cream?" I asked

"I dont know" she said

"Will you have fund raisers to have the class buy Ice cream for themselves?" I
asked

Again she didn't have an answer, and the class really didn't care. All they were thinking about was ice cream. Jamie
and his great ideas were forgotten instantly.

Olivia won
class president by a landslide.





Every time Barack Obama opens his mouth he offers ice cream
.

fifty percent of America reacts like nine year olds.

They want
that ice cream.

The other fifty percent know they’re going to have to feed the cow
, milk the cow, make the ice cream and GIVE the ice cream away to the other 50% !!!
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Old 11-07-08, 01:46 AM   #2
Christopher Snow
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I also like the "Little Johnny" joke I read on another forum not all that long ago:

------------

The third grade teacher asked her young class how many of them supported Barack Obama.

Not knowing much about who he was, but wanting to be liked by the teacher (and all their peers) one by one the hands went up....

All except the hand of little Johnny.

The teacher noticed Johnny's hand WASN'T raised, so she came over and confronted him:

"And why isn't YOUR hand raised Johnny," she asked?

"Because I don't support Barack Obama."

"And WHY don't you support Barack Obama?"

Johnny looked down at his own hands and then began to reel off a couple of reasons that made sense to him: "Well...my father is a John McCain supporter...

...and my mother is a John McCain supporter too...so I guess that makes me a John McCain supporter too!"

Johnny looks her right in the eye and smiles, quite broadly when he says it.

The teacher, at this point, gets a bit snarky: "Well if your father was a moron and your mother was a moron, what would that make you?!"

Johnny looks her right in the eye once again as he pulls down (euphamistically, but also quite strongly) "on her short-hairs" and says:

"Why...that would make me a Barack Obama supporter...."

:-P


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Last edited by Christopher Snow; 11-07-08 at 02:39 AM.
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Old 11-07-08, 02:45 AM   #3
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Olivia's problem has very simple solution. She just polls the class (form 1040)
to find who lives in what kind of housing.

The top 20% of those who are buying their houses (schedule A)
pay 70% of the cost ice cream. (form 1040 V)
but THEY do NOT get an ice cream.

The next 40% who are buying or renting smaller houses pay the remaining 30%
They each get one ice cream.

The remaining 40% are deemed under privileged and pay nothing but they
receive 2 ice creams. (REFUNDABLE TAX CREDIT)

THAT IS THE DEMOCRATIC WAY!!!!! At least according to BHO.

PS: I would put some similes in here but it's too true to be funny.
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Old 11-07-08, 03:07 AM   #4
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excellent stuff there, magic452. !!!

Those "IRS form letters (and numbers) are a particularly good touch.




CS
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Old 11-07-08, 03:34 AM   #5
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Americans have spoken with there votes

They want that ice cream. But not the price. Pie in the sky,Greed !
Obama's getting his White House




Democrats,Oprah,& Media Liberals will skin our hide to pay."You can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear".
US governments Cks.& balances,will hopefully keep the nation afloat long enough for disaster to pass. I fear we are in for the perfect storm.
Mc Cain cared,But lacked the funds wasted to buy the job."Money talks BS.walks." If justice is popular opinion,we have no law,& order is forsaken.IMHO.


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Old 11-07-08, 07:14 AM   #6
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It is so amusing, seeing some republicans not coming to term with reality.
Will you do for the next 4 years ?
This is so much better than watching a movie, I'll just get a pack of and enjoy the show.
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Old 11-07-08, 07:32 AM   #7
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MacCain promised things like tax cuts and programs as well. Different to Obama, he was jumping back and forth on many occasions when it came to economy, which tells me he does not have much understanding of it.

A president MacCain would have to deal with the same desastrous state finances and debts and the limited space for action from that, like Obama now has to deal with. The question is why the alleged richest nation on the planet with the alleged best economic system in the world
- has a debt level that approaches the level of it'S yearly GDP (if "you can only spend what you have in money" is a valid statement, the American state would need to declare state-bancruptcy...!!!)
- can't manage to live by it'S own power and income, but hangs on the financial drip of the world and depends on their good will to carry on with that,
- and how those desastrous facts could have happen to come up in this system that by allegation is described to be oh so superior.

Not even mentioning issues like general public education, street crime, growing poverty, increasing gap between the rich and the poor - and the inter-links between all these factors.

the difference between MacCain and Obama was and is, that MacCain said: "More of what has brought us to this pass!", while Obama said "Amercia can't afford to carry on in the old ways, some basic things must change, may it be difficult or not". That does not mean he becomes a leftist economist, that is complete nonsens only an extemist's mind thinking in absolutes can produce (and often does on this board). By German standards, Obama still is far right of the most rightwinged party in our federal parliament, and it is not different in most of the rest (if not all) of Europe.

Another major difference is that MacCain was completely uninspiring. But people wanted a vision, a prospect of that things after the past 8 years finally would turn for the better for all, that not only a few would improve their situation while the majority's conditions detoriated. Obama inspired them. MacCain scared or/and disgusted them, because he had nothing inspiring and visionary to offer. People do not wish to fight for a money only. They want to fight for an idea, an ideal, a vision, an inspiration. especially with the young who are still flexible in their minds, MacCain terribly failed in satisfying this hunger of theirs. That'S why he was seen as just a continuation of Bush.

This bipartisanship you americans can continue until hell freezes over, of course you can do that, yes. but it will do you no good. If Obama fails, you all fail. And Obama repeatedly has indicated that he is fully aware of the limitations to his freedom of action, due to the sick finances of the union, and that he cannot save the nation all alone without your help. All of you, please find the greatness to stop doing like this and polarise your people and rip the country into two camps, and give the man a fair chance - he has started far more professionally and energetic than Bush, Clinton, or Bush senior, which is a good sign. MacCain showed posters, "Country first". That also means to put the cause of your nation above your ideologic preferences, or the interests of your party. The party comes not before the country, but the other way around it has to be, else the party becomes a tyranny. That was your slogan, "country first" - now live by it. Since your nation also does massive damage to the world, and all we foreign states suffer massive setbacks and losses due to the economic and financial failures of your nation, and pay with our own self-earned taxes for your mistakes, and since there are so many international problems that can only be adressed with the US together, not against them, you also have a global responsibility to get together and try to get needed corrections done. You owe it to the world, and to your own children as well. Stop being narrow-minded by ideology, and stop waging a forever war in ideologic trenches. Be pragmatic, and send all the demagogues to hell. Currently we see the US having turned form the globe's once biggest problem solver into the world'S biggest problem of all, blocking the adressing of so man yother serious problems as well. Help to change, so that America after so long a fall of almost three decades once again can legitimately be seen as the fulfillment of those promises and values that were attributed to it somewhere in the time between WWII and Vietnam.

Strange that a non-American must hold this speech.
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Old 11-07-08, 10:31 AM   #8
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every politician promises something.

its when you promise to give 99% of the people a break while still paying for everything that doesnt make sense to me.

congratulations Golderak... your the winner of the only one who doesnt get it award.

skybird - you're a close second place so dont feel bad.

I thought it was a funny joke and shared... i guess i knew it was only a matter of time before someone took it personally.

dont forget to give 60% of your popcorn to your messiah so he can disperse it to the rest of us who dont work hard enough to afford popcorn.

any more similar jokes out there?
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Old 11-07-08, 10:48 AM   #9
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@ Skybird.

I blame the problems of America's financial system on "credit"

credit was originally something that was extended to businesses way back when.

Then the banks got the bright idea of extending credit to every day ordinary citizens, who saw it as a way to get what they want now and pay for it later.

I blame the problem on the fact that very few Americans have a good understanding of how credit works. specifically young people.

I had to explain to 4 or 5 people my age that you cant just pay the "minimum payment" every time and expect to pay off your debt. - they seriously had no understanding of that.

I also blame the financial problem on "predatory lending".

I'll explain

Banks dont make money by lending you money... they make money off the interest rate of lending you money. thus... banks WANT to lend money. the longer the term of the loan the less your minimum payment... but the interest will be a larger portion of your payment.

17 and 18 year old kids who dont fully understand this graduate high school and apply for college.

and in comes a torrent of credit card applications through the mail.

when i graduated high school and began applying for colleges, i must have received 100 credit card applications in the mail in a matter of weeks.

these kids get the credit cards, and max them out and the bank now owns these kids and they are reaping the benifits.

another problems.... home loans.

anyone who has watched TV or listened to the radio in 2006 - 2007 knows this to be fact.

all the ads about getting home loans with no social security number required, you dont have to speak english, no downpayment, zero interest for one year etc etc etc.

who do those ads target?

illegal immigrants, newly weds, young couples looking for their first home.

so whats the problem with that?

a $200,000 home becomes very affordable ... for 12 months, then the ungodly high interest rate kicks in and your payment doubles.

you discover you cant afford your house so you try to sell it.

problem is that almost every person who purchased a house in 2006 and 2007 is in the same boat so the housing market is flooded with homes for sale that cant sale!

then what happens?

foreclosures - record foreclosures.

and the predatory banking system is standing there missing hundreds of billions of dollars in money that has not been paid back. (what did the dumb asses expect?)

so that is the reason that when i was looking to buy a home in 2007 i would be driving through neighborhood after neighborhood of foreclosed homes.... ENTIRE communities on the outskirts of dallas, Texas - simply abandoned! it was like twilight zone. it was like a home buyers buffet.

my guess is that the financial crisis in america - and perhaps the world could be blamed squarely - on less than 20 individual people.
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Old 11-07-08, 10:58 AM   #10
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We’ve just been informed that the Internal Revenue Service has simplified its 1040 forms for next year in the spirit of becoming a “kinder, gentler” IRS. It goes like this:

(A) How much did you make last year?______

(B) How much do you have left?___________

(C) Send in amount on line B.
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Old 11-07-08, 11:05 AM   #11
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an oldy but a goodie!
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Old 11-07-08, 11:16 AM   #12
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I'm with you GoldenRivet!!

Like I said in my posts last week... B.O.H.I.C.A.!!
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Old 11-07-08, 11:48 AM   #13
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ps; The ice cream is a lie
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Old 11-07-08, 11:49 AM   #14
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IT'S like I must put my life savings all on 1 nag

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hanomag
I'm with you GoldenRivet!!

Like I said in my posts last week... B.O.H.I.C.A.!!
@Skybird,
Skybird I needed that speech.
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Old 11-07-08, 12:35 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Skybird
Strange that a non-American must hold this speech.
'grateful to you for doing so!

for my part i find it just more amusing to kick-back & 'listen' to all the apocalyptic sourgrapes rant & rave, rather than enter the fray. "when i argue with a fool, i become one myself"... and afterall, who needs wacko michael moore on the left when we've got our own bunch of righty kooks right here at dear ol' subsim to put on a show?

of course, if there were some thoughtful substance in all that bile it might be a different story, but critical thinking and the ability to see more than one side to an issue are things that, broadly, seem to be sorely lacking from the present-day GOP and its supporters (as much as it undoubtedly is similarly lacking on the other side of the aisle, if you go in for such sweeping generalizations)...

now, where's my f-ing icecream!?
i wanna hide out in the woods with it, my AA-12, and my bible!
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