October 1939 (BALZ)

[Brag]

Balz returned the bright eyed officer´s salute and shook his hand. "Lt. Werner, welcome aboard." He then asumed a heroic pose. "You can take a heroic picture of me now."
Werner chuckled and snapped a picture.
Nice lad, Balz thought. "This is the bridge and that is the sewer manhole." He pointed at the conning tower hatch. We close the sewer hole when we dive to further strnghten the atmosphere inside the U boat. Farts increase the atmospheric pressure inside and give the hull more wasserbomben resistance."
"Most interesting," Werner said.
"Follow me." Balz slid down the ladder into the Zentrale. Inside, he pointed at the cook. "He pukes when the sea is agitated. Also when the sea is calm. When he pukes into the spaghetti he calls it bolognese."
Balz put on his chicken tea cozy. "Do I look heroic?"
"Well, umm, yes, Herr Kaleun."
"Then, don´t just stand there, take another picture. You will have a wonderful collection of heroic photos of me."

That night, after leaving Wilhelmshaven harbour, Balz said to Bernard, "You have the con. Don't crash into anything. I will go below so that Werner can take a heroic picture of me drinking tea."

On his return to the bridge, Balz spotted the tanker on a collision course with U-45. "Bernaaaard, hard to staarboard!"
"My name is Bernard Fliflinger, Hastostaburg transfered to Yodel Schule, her Kaleun."
Balz reached the speaking tube. "Astern emergency, rudder hard to starboard."
The screeching of metal filled the air.

Back at the base, the following morning, a technical inspection did not reveal any damage to the U-boat. Standing on the dock, Balz said to the engineering officer. "I am not going out on my heroic quest in a boat with scratched paint."

Lt. Werner wrote in his diary.
On 27 October 1939 we finally set off to an area called AN 13. Balz said that it was an adequately heroic location with shallow water northwest of Scotland. At 0600 of 31 October 20 miles off Fair Isle, Balz engaged a freighter with the deck gun.
The moment the freighter began to sink, he ordered periscope depth. Three minutes later, the sound man reported a warship approaching fast.

The noise of asdic is terryfying and the British vessel dropped a salvo of depth charges. Silently we slunk away. The whole day, the british ship stayed close to us. After sunset another vessel arrived and the pinging started again. Balz's famous fartisphere became heavy. By midnight we had lost the British. After untying and ungagging Bernard, we surfaced to get some air and recharge batteries.