Attention, Americans! Survival Guides for Germany!

[Skybird]

Just in time for the Fußball WM :

http://www.welt.de/data/2006/05/18/888887.html (German)

Who is writing such books? :rotfl:

Richard Lord in "Culture Shock": "Better don't be too friendly to a foreign person. The Germans will simply believe that you want something from them, or that you are not quite normal. Habits and behavior that are displayed by Americans when greeting someone, just raises their suspicion, at best they take you as just a superficial American. By nature, Germans are no sunny cheerful souls."

Best of all is the last advise to Americans: "Never try to tell them a joke, leave that to a certain Harald Schmidt or Gemans that are drunk. Germans have a strong sense of humour, but that has nothing to do with the American variation of it."

[Skybird]

Some more translations from that article that is quoting from several American publications for Americans visiting the soccer tournament in Germany:

Never lean on a foreign car. Cars are holy shrines in Germany. Avoid using packaging material that is not biodegradable. Never wear swimming trunks in the sauna. Don't call someone between 20:00 and 20:15 - that's the time of the major news program on TV.


Don't say something posiitive about Bush, or defend current foreign US policy - your risk serious trouble.

Germans are not prudish. They are shocked by violance, but not by sex. Videos that Americans consider to be harmless, could offend Germans, while as films that you (Americans) consider to be of high danger for your teenagers are fully acceptable in German households.

Don't cut up all your food in advance and then put aside the knife and use the fork only. In Germany you don't do that, but keep the knife in your hand all the time. Don't talk with a full mouth. That is considered to be unpolite. Same a chewing gum.

Don't expect Germans to wear short leathertrousers. Especially not in the HQ of the american team - Hamburg.


I could laugh tears about all that!

[Onkel Neal]

Originally Posted by Skybird

Richard Lord in "Culture Shock": "Better don't be too friendly to a foreign person. The Germans will simply believe that you want something from them, or that you are not quite normal. Habits and behavior that are displayed by Americans when greeting someone, just raises their suspicion, at best they take you as just a superficial American. By nature, Germans are no sunny cheerful souls."

That part is true. I remember people I got to know from Europe telling me they thought that Americans were always smiling and being friendly as a way to trick them. They said it was called the "American smile".

[Onkel Neal]

Originally Posted by Skybird

Don't say something posiitive about Bush, or defend current foreign US policy - your risk serious trouble.

That part is definitely true!

[CCIP]

Originally Posted by Neal Stevens

That part is true. I remember people I got to know from Europe telling me they thought that Americans were always smiling and being friendly as a way to trick them. They said it was called the "American smile".

It's very true of a lot of cultures; I'm sure they don't think it specifically of Americans.

On the reverse side, I think I sometimes scare people here (in Canada) with the fact that my default expression still looks like a frown to them

[CB..]

i reckon wear what you like (not wear where did i get wear from..must be the columbo macs stripy trousers and USS Saratoga base ball caps-you can't ALL have been the USS Saratoga surely!!!- i mean DO what you like!!) just enjoy your selves--no point shuffling about like you've got summat to apologise for..if your there for the foot ball your there for the same reason as all the other visitors..just make sure your prepared to call the game Football not soccer..other wise all hell will break loose- cos you know we all think American football is just Rugby with body armour..(and insane officails) and if you beat England in the semis on penaltys avoid drunken brit fans like the plague...im not joking stay out of the pubs :rotfl:
part from that i hope the USA does really well this world cup as it can only be good for the sport..and if there is one thing the rest of the world could learn from America it's how to be gracious sports fans..i shall be supporting the USA team if and when merry England bites the dust..except if they beats us on penaltys in the semis of course !!! in which case i shall be hack sawing my leg off and beating the tellyvision set to pulp with the severed limb..then i shall burst into tears

in fact as a general rule of thumb avoid drunken brit fans like the plague no matter what happens..they're just not worth the aggravation..

[Pole]

Originally Posted by Skybird

Don't say something posiitive about Bush, or defend current foreign US policy - your risk serious trouble.

It's sooo true. I spent five years there and saying anything positive about George Bush was on the top of German political uncorrectness. Damn if I cared about it, though

Pole

[scandium]

Originally Posted by Pole

It's sooo true.

Pole

Whoda thunk it.

Originally Posted by Neal Stevens

That part is definitely true!

yep, absolutely... ok you wont get "serious trouble" (what ever that means) but a nice discussion... because the "unintelligent ones" in my country dont care about bush or america... they even dont care about the own country... armes deutschland.

[TLAM Strike]

All you need to know when traveling to Germany:

Keep your speed high,
Stay in formation,
And watch for attacks from the nose.

Originally Posted by TLAM Strike

All you need to know when traveling to Germany:

Keep your speed high,
Stay in formation,
And watch for attacks from the nose.

*ManningFlakCannons*

[mapuc]

Originally Posted by Neal Stevens

That part is definitely true!

That depends on wich you meet, if you met me, I would give you a handshake and thanjk you for the america

Markus

[Skybird]

Originally Posted by TLAM Strike

All you need to know when traveling to Germany:

Keep your speed high,
Stay in formation,
And watch for attacks from the nose.

And beware Skybirds on your six.

P.S. kinda forgot this one:

[MadMike]

Wonder if they mentioned-

1. Beer is drunk cool, not cold as in the U.S., and with a touch of cola (the locals called it "cola-schoppen"). Germans generally don't care for obnoxious drunks (only saw one obnoxious Deutscher the whole time I was in Germany). Actually met a German who liked Miller beer!
2. "Eis" isn't ice, but ice cream.
3. Mowing the lawn, yard work, making noise on Sunday is verboten.
4. Never challenge a German to a schnapps or jagermeister drinking contest.
5. HBO makes RTL look tame (at least in the '80 when I was there).
6. Avoid AFN-TV commercials at all cost, or hanging out with Ami's.
7. Klaus & Klaus were heavily influenced by the writings of Skybird.
8. German military can drink in bars in fatigues (at least local gasthauses).
9. Real men drink meter biers!
10. Jagerschnitzel mit pomme frits- food of the gods?

Yours, Mike

[Gizzmoe]

Originally Posted by MadMike

1. Beer is drunk cool, not cold as in the U.S., and with a touch of cola (the locals called it "cola-schoppen").

Only perverts add cola to their beer! Not that it tastes bad, but it spoils the good beer.

2. "Eis" isn't ice, but ice cream.

It means both ice and ice cream.