Funniest Break Up Of All Time

retired1212 · 11-17-05, 03:52 AM

Had this though on email, you may have seen this before but it is pretty amusing. Long-ish read but well worth it. Whose side did you take by the end of it?

Apparently going around NY at the moment, 1st is a girl's apology email for cheating on some bloke. 2nd is his reply which was Bcc'd to his entire address book:

-----Original Message-----
Sent: Monday, October 24, 2005 9:50 AM
Subject: ugh

Brad,

It would be difficult for me to be any more miserable right now, I feel like the worst person ever. First, let me start by saying that I am truly truly sorry, and I hate myself for hurting you. Of all the people in the whole entire world, you were honestly the last person that I would ever want to wrong in any way. There is no excuse at all or anything that happened, so I won't even try other than to say all of us had WAY too much to drink, and I did a stupid thing. I can handle you being pissed at me, I absolutely deserve it, I can even handle the ugly words that were exchanged between us, what I can't handle is thinking that you see me as a different person. It is weird, I feel like I just went through a horrible break up or something. The world looked funny yesterday, I couldn't crack a smile if you paid me, there are songs I can't listen to, and I just feel beyond crushed. I don't know if you meant everything you said to me, and I am hoping that you didn't. I know that I was wrong on many levels, but I am also hoping that this is something that we can deal with. I know it sounds totally crazy and stupid, but you have come to play such a significant role in my life, I can't imagine my days without you. It is totally strange and weird to say that, and you could say that my behaviour didn't reflect that, and you would be correct. I hate feeling like you hate me, and I hate feeling like all of your friends think I am a terrible person, because I am not. I know there is nothing I can say or do to take back what happened, but I just want you to know that fighting with you was just about the worst thing I could have ever imagined. It was right up there with one of the ugliest nights of my life, and I would give anything in the world to rewind and fix it.

I am not sure if you will respond to this, part of me thinks that you won't. If not today, then maybe some other time. Also, thanks for getting my stuff together, although I think my sunglasses are still at your house, if you could keep your eyes peeled for them that would be great. I can't even focus or work today, I can't eat, I seriously feel like it was an ugly break up, and I am hoping against hopes that it was not that and you are not done with me. Please don't cut me off, I really don't think I can handle that.
I am so sorry.

Elizabeth

RESPONSE:

----Original Message-----
Sent: Monday, October 24, 2005 12:02 PM
Subject: Re: Ugh....enjoy.

Dear Elizabeth,

Thank you for your concern. I'll be sure to file it away under "L" for "Long-winded diatribes from drunken whores I couldn't care less about".

You did a stupid thing huh? No...doing long division and forgetting to carry the one is "a stupid thing"; Mixing in a red sock with a load of whites is "a stupid thing"; Blowing some guy in a bathroom for 45minutes while I sit at the bar wondering if you're taking so long because you ate too much bran that morning isn't as much a "Stupid thing" as it is grounds for permanent removal from my social calendar.

To be honest, I'm not sure if it was more amusing that you went and degraded yourself in a public toilet not once but twice in a 2 hour span, or that you seemed to think that by saying "Well, I didn't F **k him" somehow gave you a clean slate. So forgive me if I couldn't care less if the world "looked funny" to you yesterday. Since your world revolves around blow dryers, golden retrievers, Prada Bags and Jelly Beans, I'm sure it must have been most unsettling to actually have to consider someone else's feelings for 24 hours straight. The good news for you is that my friends don't think you're a terrible person, they just think you're the average run of the mill cum-guzzling blond who commands about as much respect as your average child porn collector. I could be wrong but, it's pretty hard to respect some B&T chick who comes out to spend the night at my place even though she's seeing someone else in New jersey and winds up tongue-bathing the taint of anyone who decides 30 minutes of droning commentary on Colin Farrell's new haircut is worth putting up with for a hand job in the men's room. The good thing about being a guy is that when I eventually bump into the young lad who finger-blasted you on top of a towel dispenser last saturday, we'll have a shot and laugh our heads off about the time it happened.

By the way, for the amount of time you claim to spend in spin class you really must be doing something wrong to sport the thunder thighs you do. Watching you parade around my bedroom in a thong was a little like watching sea lions mate. Thought you might like to know.

PS. I BCC'd about 100 people on this email.

Talk to you never,
Brad

kiwi_2005 · 11-17-05, 04:07 AM

Heavy

jumpy · 11-17-05, 04:08 AM

owned! lol

Gizzmoe · 11-17-05, 04:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jumpy

owned! lol

Hellcat · 11-17-05, 09:26 AM

Beautiful reply

Much better that he dropped her than try again...

Polak · 11-17-05, 10:02 AM

hoho

Type941 · 11-17-05, 11:13 AM

ok, may be he was a bit too much degrading in his reply and it's not clear how long they've been together, but I can't see this as sometihng that will work out. The guy is probably miserable as hell as well, even though he tries to sound as if he doesn't give a f*ck.

11-17-05, 12:16 PM

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Hitman · 11-17-05, 01:45 PM

If the guy had established a permanent, serious, and official relation with a girl that did those things he mentioned (Not referring here to the cheating episode in the bar, but instead to the stupid life she seemed to have) then he is as idiot as her, though he can at last claim to be more honest.

I have a very good looking and sympathic friend of mine who throws himself sistematically in the arms of any possible woman once he is drunk enough on saturday night, and then forgets them on sunday morning. It still amazes me how a woman (In fact, a lot of them, given how many have already been his victims) can be so stupid (Despite being averagely more intelligent than men) to think that such a guy is the "man of his life" and the "blue prince in a white horse" he has been waiting for, and that he will want something else than a quick and dirty f**k.

Really astonishing :hmm:

kiwi_2005 · 11-17-05, 01:55 PM

Quote:

I have a very good looking and sympathic friend of mine who throws himself sistematically in the arms of any possible woman once he is drunk enough on saturday night, and then forgets them on sunday morning. It still amazes me how a woman (In fact, a lot of them, given how many have already been his victims) can be so stupid (Despite being averagely more intelligent than men) to think that such a guy is the "man of his life" and the "blue prince in a white horse" he has been waiting for, and that he will want something else than a quick and dirty f**k.

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

We humans do stupid things when under the influence.

Thats why when i drink i stay home. Its much safer

Zepheron · 11-17-05, 06:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Oombongo

Blowing some guy in a bathroom for 45minutes

With all that practice, you would think she would be better at it.

retired1212 · 11-18-05, 07:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zepheron

Quote:

Originally Posted by Oombongo

Blowing some guy in a bathroom for 45minutes

With all that practice, you would think she would be better at it.

Are you thinking to get hers phone number?

11-17-05, 03:52 AM	#1
retired1212 Officer Join Date: May 2005 Location: North Pole, World Posts: 240 Downloads: 0 Uploads: 0	Funniest Break Up Of All Time Had this though on email, you may have seen this before but it is pretty amusing. Long-ish read but well worth it. Whose side did you take by the end of it? Apparently going around NY at the moment, 1st is a girl's apology email for cheating on some bloke. 2nd is his reply which was Bcc'd to his entire address book: -----Original Message----- Sent: Monday, October 24, 2005 9:50 AM Subject: ugh Brad, It would be difficult for me to be any more miserable right now, I feel like the worst person ever. First, let me start by saying that I am truly truly sorry, and I hate myself for hurting you. Of all the people in the whole entire world, you were honestly the last person that I would ever want to wrong in any way. There is no excuse at all or anything that happened, so I won't even try other than to say all of us had WAY too much to drink, and I did a stupid thing. I can handle you being pissed at me, I absolutely deserve it, I can even handle the ugly words that were exchanged between us, what I can't handle is thinking that you see me as a different person. It is weird, I feel like I just went through a horrible break up or something. The world looked funny yesterday, I couldn't crack a smile if you paid me, there are songs I can't listen to, and I just feel beyond crushed. I don't know if you meant everything you said to me, and I am hoping that you didn't. I know that I was wrong on many levels, but I am also hoping that this is something that we can deal with. I know it sounds totally crazy and stupid, but you have come to play such a significant role in my life, I can't imagine my days without you. It is totally strange and weird to say that, and you could say that my behaviour didn't reflect that, and you would be correct. I hate feeling like you hate me, and I hate feeling like all of your friends think I am a terrible person, because I am not. I know there is nothing I can say or do to take back what happened, but I just want you to know that fighting with you was just about the worst thing I could have ever imagined. It was right up there with one of the ugliest nights of my life, and I would give anything in the world to rewind and fix it. I am not sure if you will respond to this, part of me thinks that you won't. If not today, then maybe some other time. Also, thanks for getting my stuff together, although I think my sunglasses are still at your house, if you could keep your eyes peeled for them that would be great. I can't even focus or work today, I can't eat, I seriously feel like it was an ugly break up, and I am hoping against hopes that it was not that and you are not done with me. Please don't cut me off, I really don't think I can handle that. I am so sorry. Elizabeth RESPONSE: ----Original Message----- Sent: Monday, October 24, 2005 12:02 PM Subject: Re: Ugh....enjoy. Dear Elizabeth, Thank you for your concern. I'll be sure to file it away under "L" for "Long-winded diatribes from drunken whores I couldn't care less about". You did a stupid thing huh? No...doing long division and forgetting to carry the one is "a stupid thing"; Mixing in a red sock with a load of whites is "a stupid thing"; Blowing some guy in a bathroom for 45minutes while I sit at the bar wondering if you're taking so long because you ate too much bran that morning isn't as much a "Stupid thing" as it is grounds for permanent removal from my social calendar. To be honest, I'm not sure if it was more amusing that you went and degraded yourself in a public toilet not once but twice in a 2 hour span, or that you seemed to think that by saying "Well, I didn't F **k him" somehow gave you a clean slate. So forgive me if I couldn't care less if the world "looked funny" to you yesterday. Since your world revolves around blow dryers, golden retrievers, Prada Bags and Jelly Beans, I'm sure it must have been most unsettling to actually have to consider someone else's feelings for 24 hours straight. The good news for you is that my friends don't think you're a terrible person, they just think you're the average run of the mill cum-guzzling blond who commands about as much respect as your average child porn collector. I could be wrong but, it's pretty hard to respect some B&T chick who comes out to spend the night at my place even though she's seeing someone else in New jersey and winds up tongue-bathing the taint of anyone who decides 30 minutes of droning commentary on Colin Farrell's new haircut is worth putting up with for a hand job in the men's room. The good thing about being a guy is that when I eventually bump into the young lad who finger-blasted you on top of a towel dispenser last saturday, we'll have a shot and laugh our heads off about the time it happened. By the way, for the amount of time you claim to spend in spin class you really must be doing something wrong to sport the thunder thighs you do. Watching you parade around my bedroom in a thong was a little like watching sea lions mate. Thought you might like to know. PS. I BCC'd about 100 people on this email. Talk to you never, Brad __________________ Sub has been gifted to enemy in exchange of asylum and money

11-17-05, 04:07 AM	#2
kiwi_2005 Eternal Patrol Join Date: May 2004 Location: Aeoteroa Posts: 7,382 Downloads: 223 Uploads: 1	Heavy __________________ RIP kiwi_2005 Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.

11-17-05, 04:08 AM	#3
jumpy Admiral Join Date: May 2003 Location: Midlands, UK Posts: 2,139 Downloads: 22 Uploads: 0	owned! lol __________________ when you’ve been so long in the desert, any water, no matter how brackish, looks like life

11-17-05, 09:26 AM	#5
Hellcat Ensign Join Date: May 2004 Location: Ontario, Canada Posts: 224 Downloads: 7 Uploads: 0	Beautiful reply Much better that he dropped her than try again... __________________ "readiness is only accomplished when the need for it is over"

11-17-05, 10:02 AM	#6
Polak Grey Wolf Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Poland/Sweden Posts: 808 Downloads: 1 Uploads: 0	hoho __________________

11-17-05, 11:13 AM	#7
Type941 Ace of the Deep Join Date: May 2005 Location: U-52 Posts: 1,270 Downloads: 2 Uploads: 0	ok, may be he was a bit too much degrading in his reply and it's not clear how long they've been together, but I can't see this as sometihng that will work out. The guy is probably miserable as hell as well, even though he tries to sound as if he doesn't give a f*ck. __________________ Sink the Bismarck SH3 Movie

11-17-05, 12:16 PM	#8
U-552Erich-Topp Stowaway Posts: n/a Downloads: Uploads:	:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

11-17-05, 01:45 PM	#9
Hitman Pacific Aces Dev Team Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Spain Posts: 6,109 Downloads: 109 Uploads: 2	If the guy had established a permanent, serious, and official relation with a girl that did those things he mentioned (Not referring here to the cheating episode in the bar, but instead to the stupid life she seemed to have) then he is as idiot as her, though he can at last claim to be more honest. I have a very good looking and sympathic friend of mine who throws himself sistematically in the arms of any possible woman once he is drunk enough on saturday night, and then forgets them on sunday morning. It still amazes me how a woman (In fact, a lot of them, given how many have already been his victims) can be so stupid (Despite being averagely more intelligent than men) to think that such a guy is the "man of his life" and the "blue prince in a white horse" he has been waiting for, and that he will want something else than a quick and dirty f**k. Really astonishing :hmm: __________________ One day I will return to sea ...