The sauna appreciation thread

[Hottentot]

Enough gun threads! I say we need a thread for confessing our affection for the greatest gift of Ukko to the mankind.

Dear Ukko who art above the clouds. Please do not smite me with a lightning today; tomorrow would be much more pleasant day to be smitten. I confess being an avid sauna lover. For there surely is nothing better than spending a whole day in the woods, uttering your ever useful euphenism Perkele, and wondering what am I doing here when the temperatures are way below the comfort level and I can't feel my fingertips anymore.

No, no no, in fact that's not the greatest thing in the world, please do not teleport me there. The greatest thing is after that coming to my humble hut, lighting a fire in the sauna stove and letting the sweet, sweet 80 to 100 degree temperature melt away the layer of ice that I accumulated during the day. The sweetest sound in the world is the hissing of vaporizing water hitting the stove's stones and making me scream "Ouch Perkele, I overdid it again!!"

Sauna, your wonderful gift to the mankind, is the hallowed place where some of us are born and even more of us die, usually after drinking vast amounts of the less glamorous alcoholic beverages. It is the place where you decided to end the life of my grandfather, and if I get to choose my way of dying, please let me die the same way. But not today, please; tomorrow would be much more pleasant day. It is the place where even I can sing and it is the place that makes me mad enough to dive naked into snow or a frozen lake when I feel like my blood is boiling and my intestines are on fire. It is a place where I go smelly and dirty and emerge temporarily looking like a human being. A place that gives even a humble Finn like me a chance to score some chicks, or at least say hello to them before they are repelled away by my natural odor.

I wish to thank you for this marvelous little room that has made my life and my whole existence a much more pleasant experience and hence I still feel today that if you must smite me with a lightning, please do it tomorrow.

Note: by my merciful decree, the outlanders are permitted to express their appreciation for the silly concepts they call saunas in this thread too. They can expect then to be chastized for not understanding the mystical sauna culture and force taught the proper way of expressing their love for it.

[Takeda Shingen]

I think that sauna's are okay in principle, but the thought of sitting around with a bunch of fat, naked men while we beat ourselves with branches is not exactly my cup of tea. Can I have a personal sauna? It would stink if the government would make me register such a personal sauna. It may account for a large increase in membership in the NSA.

[Gerald]

Who says they are fat, however the sauna is nice

[Takeda Shingen]

I said they were fat. I thought I made that clear.

[Gerald]

Sure,

[Jimbuna]

Be very careful in those saunas Hottentot, whether they be mystical or not

[Takeda Shingen]

Originally Posted by Vendor

Sure,

Alright then. Now get back to your spam.

[Gerald]

Originally Posted by Takeda Shingen

Alright then. Now get back to your spam.

Pardon?

[Hottentot]

Originally Posted by Takeda Shingen

Can I have a personal sauna?

Sure, but you can't take it to an airplane. Too many nutjobs these days threatening to throw water on the pilots of they won't co-operate with their demands.

Seriously speaking, "personal sauna" is the more common thing than a public one. I don't have statistics, but I'd say most Finnish houses have a sauna in them, both in the countryside as well as in cities. It's not considered a luxury. Saunas exist even for tenement apartments, in addition to the public ones found on them. And a summer house isn't a proper summer house without one.

[Takeda Shingen]

Originally Posted by Hottentot

Sure, but you can't take it to an airplane. Too many nutjobs these days threatening to throw water on the pilots of they won't co-operate with their demands.

So what are the statistics for sauna-on-sauna crime? Sauna-related violence is unheard of here in the United States. Do saunas serve as a deterent to those that would use saunas against other saunas?

Seriously speaking, "personal sauna" is the more common thing than a public one. I don't have statistics, but I'd say most Finnish houses have a sauna in them, both in the countryside as well as in cities. It's not considered a luxury. Saunas exist even for tenement apartments, in addition to the public ones found on them. And a summer house isn't a proper summer house without one.

Really? I thought it was just a stereotype. I had no idea that they were that common in Finland.

[kraznyi_oktjabr]

Originally Posted by Takeda Shingen

Really? I thought it was just a stereotype. I had no idea that they were that common in Finland.

When my grandpa built our farmhouse in early 1950s care to guess what building was built first?

[Takeda Shingen]

Originally Posted by kraznyi_oktjabr

When my grandpa built our farmhouse in early 1950s care to guess what building was built first?

I'll guess it wasn't a walk-in humidor.

I had no idea the sauna thing was real. Learned something today.

[STEED]

A sauna full of hot naked women here I come...WHAT!

Bloody jim has beaten me to them.

[Jimbuna]

Originally Posted by STEED

A sauna full of hot naked women here I come...WHAT!

Bloody jim has beaten me to them.

What naked women?

[STEED]

Originally Posted by Jimbuna

What naked women?

That will teach you.

You were over come by the sight of 100 naked women, your sight will return.