2012 Subsim Fantasy Football Reports

Gut Wrench · 08-31-12, 08:40 PM

2012 Subsim Fantasy Football
Asking the most important question.

Welcome back football fans, and here we are just hours away from Draft Day, on the most important football season we're seen...since last year.

It's the 2012 Subsim Fantasy Football competition, 16 weeks of grueling to and from in the race up to the coveted Torpedo Bowl. And we'll be there every yard of the way to bring you the much anticipated Monday night rewrites, and keep you up to do with all the stories around the league.

But before we get to this years draft, a word from our sponsor.

DONATE TO SUBSIM.

On with the show, and let's start with the draft and the first head banging moment of the year. In a controversial move, Commissioner McBee has taken the draft offshore to Monaco and the Hotel Del Paris.

Beautiful, opulent and abundant heavy chested French maids could not distract the media from the biggest news in Fantasy Football since the WR3 position - where is Mike?

The Commissioner announced that due to his almost unbeatable record, his constant beat down of his opponents, and the lack of donated celebratory strippers for the Commissioner, the Dragons had been excluded from this years league.

In a prepared statement, Commissioner McBee announced that the move was made in the interest of the international teams.

And somehow, Australia earned itself a second team in the league with the Tarjakistan Tarbulls. The Tarbulls will be playing all their home games at the majestic Sydney Cricket Ground (and not that other place next door.)

The introduction of the Tarbulls add to the returning international teams of the Helmand Nighthawks (London) and the Taipans (Australia).

After the payment of gratuities and some Chicago style donations, the two divisions look like this. The Sub Simmers Division consist of the Wild Boston Terriers, the Broncolo's, the Guns of Hochuli, Black Cats, Drunk Monkeys and the Tarbulls. The Surface Skimmers, based on previous result looks to be a stronger division, consisting of the Greens Beans, Reapers, Every Given Sunday, Nighthawks, Taipans and the Ghost Monkeys.

It had not gone unoticed that there were two Monkey teams in the league. When pressed at a league conference, Commissioner McBee said "There are not enough bare ass baboons in this world."

Apparently McBee has not attended some of the more "elegant" victory parties in the league.

So on the night before draft day, the biggest question we can ask is...will the 2012 Subsim Fantasy Football Reports get a nomination for this years Best of Subsim. Only you can stuff the ballot box.

So do your part, stuff the ballot box, and for the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW), we'll see you back here tomorrow night after the draft is done, and before the photos of the Monkeys parties reaches the tabloids.

08-31-12, 08:40 PM	#1
Gut Wrench Watch Officer Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Everywhere Posts: 342 Downloads: 0 Uploads: 0	2012 Subsim Fantasy Football Reports 2012 Subsim Fantasy Football Asking the most important question. Welcome back football fans, and here we are just hours away from Draft Day, on the most important football season we're seen...since last year. It's the 2012 Subsim Fantasy Football competition, 16 weeks of grueling to and from in the race up to the coveted Torpedo Bowl. And we'll be there every yard of the way to bring you the much anticipated Monday night rewrites, and keep you up to do with all the stories around the league. But before we get to this years draft, a word from our sponsor. DONATE TO SUBSIM. On with the show, and let's start with the draft and the first head banging moment of the year. In a controversial move, Commissioner McBee has taken the draft offshore to Monaco and the Hotel Del Paris. Beautiful, opulent and abundant heavy chested French maids could not distract the media from the biggest news in Fantasy Football since the WR3 position - where is Mike? The Commissioner announced that due to his almost unbeatable record, his constant beat down of his opponents, and the lack of donated celebratory strippers for the Commissioner, the Dragons had been excluded from this years league. In a prepared statement, Commissioner McBee announced that the move was made in the interest of the international teams. And somehow, Australia earned itself a second team in the league with the Tarjakistan Tarbulls. The Tarbulls will be playing all their home games at the majestic Sydney Cricket Ground (and not that other place next door.) The introduction of the Tarbulls add to the returning international teams of the Helmand Nighthawks (London) and the Taipans (Australia). After the payment of gratuities and some Chicago style donations, the two divisions look like this. The Sub Simmers Division consist of the Wild Boston Terriers, the Broncolo's, the Guns of Hochuli, Black Cats, Drunk Monkeys and the Tarbulls. The Surface Skimmers, based on previous result looks to be a stronger division, consisting of the Greens Beans, Reapers, Every Given Sunday, Nighthawks, Taipans and the Ghost Monkeys. It had not gone unoticed that there were two Monkey teams in the league. When pressed at a league conference, Commissioner McBee said "There are not enough bare ass baboons in this world." Apparently McBee has not attended some of the more "elegant" victory parties in the league. So on the night before draft day, the biggest question we can ask is...will the 2012 Subsim Fantasy Football Reports get a nomination for this years Best of Subsim. Only you can stuff the ballot box. So do your part, stuff the ballot box, and for the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW), we'll see you back here tomorrow night after the draft is done, and before the photos of the Monkeys parties reaches the tabloids.