Devolution: A Fallout AAR

[Hottentot]

Ding! We are back! Retro games and light comedy once more on the air exclusively on Radio Hottentot. I'm your host Hottentot and welcome each of you old and new faithful listeners back to spend beeeautiful time with us. Today's show is brought to you by The Government Your Friend: "Government: We Sell Your Mom And You Like It!"

Obligatory game introduction: OK, seriously, is there someone who just crawled out of a Vault and doesn't know Fallout?

Right, moving on. I'm this time thinking of a loosely related series here. If this goes anywhere, this first AAR will be about the first Fallout, but after it I will be moving at the speed of the plot to Fallout 2, Fallout 3 and finally to New Vegas. As per usual, I have no idea what I'm doing and intend to mostly just improvise. The first part will take a somewhat classical approach. Let's see what happens.


3...2...1...


- - - - - - - -



OK, so the apocalyptic nuclear fire destroyed everything in the end and civilization as we knew it basically ceased to exist. No McDonald's, Walmarts or Fox News. But look at the bright side: no more bums, junkies, small time thieves or lawyers either.




Indeed, the nuclear holocaust wasn't that bad after all, seeing that it affected mostly those undesired and poor parts of the society that no one is going to miss anyway. The good, patriotic and wealthy people ducked and covered in safe vaults under the Earth, and the new civilization to be build by them in the imminent future looks much brighter than any bomb explosion.

Good and patriotic people, such as John and Mary here. They were some of the first to enter the Vault 13, and for a good reason. John was handsome, hard working and God fearing republican, while Mary was obedient wife, who since childhood had known her place between the stove and the fist. Together they formed a real model family for the future generations to look up to and follow their example.




Eventually John and Mary had a child too, a handsome, hard working and God fearing Republican whom they decided to call Dave. Unfortunately Dave happened to fall in love with Linda, an independently thinking democrat, who didn't understand her role in the family at all. She even had friends among the lower classes of the society, such as that Pete the Postman.




Eventually, however, Linda understood how wrong she had been and to make up for her mistakes, bore twins for Dave. Dave, father of two wonderful children, was once more happy, even though he occasionally wondered why his son Jack didn't look like him at all. Or why Jack seemed to get along so well with his sister Anne instead of telling her to bake him pie.




Indeed it happened so, that the unconditional love of the siblings became a family tradition that continued generation after generation.




Until one day Anne XXIII found herself very lonely and sad because she was the only child of her aunt and uncle and despite her best efforts couldn't get any of the boys in the Vault to date her.




This is because the boys were mostly prejudiced democrats who didn't see her inner beauty. Fortunately for Anne XXIII there was still at least one good and honest, God fearing republican in the Vault with whom she could really share experiences and her deepest feelings. Indeed, she had always been kind to the animals, and her pet rodent Henry was very dear to her. Oh yes. Very dear.

And being a good, God fearing republican, Anne XXIII's prayers were answered and miraculously like Virgin Mary she had a son, a handsome, hard working, God fearing baby son!!




HALO!!!!

Were story man run? Me like story!! OK! Me tell story meself! Me much better story man than story man anyway because me so smart!!

First me tell of me self. Me am called...me? Me call me me. Other people call me DONT. Me think me name is DONT. Me hear so often "DONT EAT", "DONT TOUCH" and "DONT POOP THERE".

Am very nice, handsome and smart man. Live in big hole in ground. Around lots metal. Live like this for many birthday cakes now. Me stop count after twelve fingers because me no have more.




Me strong and sport like! Grar!! Have to be because me have rees-pon-sib-ly job. Me walk in hall and pick dust ball. Mommy say dust balls communist pies, so me eat and mommy happy. Momy fear communist pies. Many people do. But me brave and eat so no have to fear.

Me am smart. So smart that all other people dumb. Ouch!! OK, OK, mommy no dumb. Mommy very smart too. But all not-mommy people. They so dumb they no understand me. Is why they no like me and me no have many friends.

Some time when me eat communist pies, stuff crash to me. Then stuff go bye-bye and dumb people angry to me because me brake stuff. Me no very lucky to have so dumb stuff around crash to me all time.




Sometimes me go very red face to stuff and punch it. Me also punch demoncrats because they say mommy dumb. Demoncrats extra dumb!!




After me punch stuff, me hungry. Me like beans but mommy say me cant eat beans anymore because after that me go boom for many hour.




Me like big tools. When home door stuck, me take big hammer and punch stupid door so long that door go bye bye and let me in. Me think is good idea but dumb people no like. They take hammer away.




When dumb people take hammer away, me was so mad me start throw stuff. Demoncrats funny to throw because they so light and make funny noise. Me like throw!!




And because me smart, me read lots of picture paper. Me learn lot from picture paper. Me see boom pipe name "cat-sling-gun" and ask mommy give for birthday but she say no can. But me still learn how shoot cat-sling-gun from picture paper. One day me find and show mommy how good me do.

Then me tell og big adventure me have. Is biggest adventure in life! So big not even in picture paper! You love! Me promise!!



Anyway, it all start when grand daddy come to me one day when me eat communist pies. He say no call him grand daddy but "Ow-er-sea" (because he be pirate! Yarr!!) but me call grand daddy because he has beard. Anyway he come one day and give me very no-happy look. He often give it when he scream "DONT DO THAT" and "DONT PEE IN CORNER." Grand daddy so old he not hear no more to must scream often to me.




Anyway, he show me picture of this thing and scream: "YOU EAT??!!"

Me think very hard and remember me maybe see one communist pie like in picture. Was very bad communist pie. A demoncrat communist pie! Teeth say "ouch" often, but me brave and fight like good raw-bobbly-can.

For some reason grand daddy no happy when me say "yes, me save all. Me good?! Get cookkie?!"




Grand daddy take sticky tape and stick paper to me hand. Paper say something but is no picture. Me think boring but yummy. Paper always make go boom. Boom fun!!




When me eat paper, grand daddy very no happy. He make new and this time stick to me in back. Me ask how me can now eat but he no answer.

Then two people come and take me. We go to big metal circle that say "OOOOOOOOOOO" and go away. Then they throw me out and metal circle go "OOOOOOOOO" again when it come back. So uh...now me here. And me know not what me do. Is very dark here.

[Hottentot]

HALO! DONT want back now. DONT forget change underwear!




HALO? MOMMY?! GRAND DADDY??!!




Door no go OOOOOOO again. Me feel very sad. But then me happy again when me find thin man! Thin man sleep and no wake up when me shout in ear. Me think dumb and see if he has new underwear. He no have but have sharp metal and red candy. Me ask if can take. Thin man no say anything so me thank and take.




Me have lots stuff. Me try boom stick that eat metal candy.




Me point boom stick to fur-squeak and fur-squeak go tomato sauce. FUN!!




AGAIN!! AGAIN!!




DONT AM EXTRA GREAT FUR-SQUEAK KILL MAN EVER!!!!




HALO!! DONT kill all fur-squeak!! DONT come back?!




Bah! OK! Me go away bye! Leave you all fur-squeak and communist pie! You see me good when me go away bye! But me no come back! Ever! Is stoopid metal home with stoopid demoncrats anyway!!




Me walk stone home far and find more fur-squeak. Boom stick go boom!!




Whuh? Boom stick go click-click?!




BAH, is dumb boom stick anyway!! Me punch! Me good punch!!




Me can use sharp stick too! Me am talent!




GRAAAAAAARR ALL FUR-SQUEAK GO TOMATO SAUCE!!




Here me see light like is when mommy wake up in morning and me no want to go school. Maybe mommy there?! Me go look!!




Uh, no? No mommy. But lots of yellow little stuff. And hot! And light!! Gaaah!! Me want go back cave!

NO! DONT AM BRAVE! NO GO BACK TO STOOPID DEMONCRAT CAVE! DONT GO WALK RIGHT.




DONT walk right very long and see lots yellow little stuff. DONT count is more yellow little stuff than DONT have finger. In end DONT find big wall and see where it go...




Me follow big wall and find is hole in it. Why put hole in wall? Is bad build, me think. Maybe that why there be people and they go point DONT with boom stick?

[Hottentot]

But boom stick no go boom, so me go talk to man. Man happy see me! Maybe he hear me is great fur-squeak kill hero and want be friend?

Me say: "Halo boom stick man! Me DONT! Me offer hand and all six finger to be friend. You happy boom stick man?"



But boom stick man dumb and no understand when me speak raw-bobbly-can speak. Boom stick man must is demoncrat.



Then boom stick man start wave hand and say that is "Score-pong" there. Me smart and know score pong nice game! See one time in picture magazine! And now boom stick man want play score pong with DONT?! OK! FUN!!



Boom stick man take DONT to big stone home. There DONT meet white thin boo, who very quiet. White thin boo look like great uncle but is no great uncle. Great uncle always say DONT good boy. White thin boo no say nothing.

When DONT look back, boom stick man go away bye? Maybe no want play score pong because know how good DONT am play score pong?



DONT go far in stone home to look someone who play score pong. Find big hissy-clank and ask if want play, but hissy-clanks hiss and clank and try eat DONT! OUCH!!



DONT MAD!! DONT HIT HISSY-CLANK WITH SHARP STICK!!



DONT win, so DONT take price. Hissy-Clank give nice pointy boo. Pointy boo make DONT finger go ouch and now DONT feel funny in tummy.



DONT walk in all stone home but only find more hissy-clank. DONT think is very stupid place and go back to wall home. There boom stick man very happy to meet DONT. DONT am happy boom stick man is happy.



Then DONT go meet not-mommy who look like mommy. Not-mommy very nice to DONT.



Not-mommy smile much and nod head like mommy. DONT tell all to not-mommy and not-mommy look happy. Maybe give cookkie?!



Bah! Not-mommy dumb! No give cookkie! Just stoopid peace of advertise. Is like great-aunt who also always give piece of advertise. "DONT LICK YELLOW METAL" still one DONT remember well.



In box home me find black-blue man who also nice to me. He ask name and me say: "Me DONT, me friend call me DONT, me mommy call me DONT and black-blue man also call me DONT. Me hope black-blue man and DONT find together happy adventure with puppy and ice cream."



BUT BLACK-BLUE MAN MEAN POOPY HEAD!!!!



DONT show black-blue man! DONT tickle!!



Ooo, black-blue man hide nice stuff! Maybe DONT can burrow?



Better. Mommy say is okay burrow from demoncrats. Say demoncrats also burrow from good honest people like mommy and DONT so is OK. And mommy is always right.



DONT am big fur-squeak kill, but all demoncrats in wall home very no nice and no can ap-re-citate DONT special talent.



When me walk in wall home, me find very pretty girl! Pretty girl almost pretty like mommy! DONT think DONT in love and show pretty girl all fur-squeak head DONT have! DONT like the stinky head best! What is pretty girl favorite?!



Ooo, pretty girl no can decide? Is OK. DONT come back later and bring more fur-squeak head.



But now must run to find more furry-squeak so can better in-press pretty girl!

[HunterICX]

Nice work,
nice read for a good laugh

HunterICX

[Oberon]

Loving it so far

[Hottentot]

Yay! Hottentot am happy Subsim man is happy!

- - - - - - - - - - -



When me try find furry-squeak, me find big hammer. Is like hammer that demoncrats in metal home take away! Me happy and take hammer. Me call hammer "Hammy". Hammy Hammer now DONT new best friend.



Ooo! Moo-Moo! DONT love animal!! DONT want go see, but Moo-Moo Girl say no can go. Heehee, me go when Moo-Moo Girl no see. Me am smart!



Moo-Moo also very smart and like DONT. Smart like smart. Moo-Moo also honest good raw-boobly-cans and is why demoncrats no like them and keep in cage.



Me find nice Moo-Moo and have good conversion with Moo-Moo. Me call Moo-Moo Moo. Moo Moo-Moo tell me handsome and pleasant.



Me want thank Moo Moo-Moo and pet head! Moo Moo-Moo so nice!!



Um, me think me forget me still have Hammy Hammer in hand. Moo Moo-Moo go ouch and now all Moo-Moo look me very no happy.



HELP!! MOO-MOO ATTACK!!!



MOMMYYY!!!



Whew. Me think Moo-Moo no more follow. Me find this box home and hide. In box home is hole in ground. Maybe is better hide in hole?



Me climb down hole and find is big stone home there. Me go look is here someone play score pong!



No score pong but many furry-squeak! FUN!! DONT SMASH AND SHOW PRETTY GIRL!!



ME SO GREAT FURRY-SQUEAK KILL ME CAN KILL FURRY-SQUEAK BESTEST!



Stone home now empty. But then DONT see metal home hole. DONT think see one like this some place else too. Think was much more clean. But no can remember. Ooo, maybe is candy inside?!



No candy. But BIG FURRY-SQUEAK!!



Metal home full furry-squeaks. Me no know how me carry all to pretty girl.



Me think me see little room like this in home metal home too. Little room go "wrrrrr" and then me in other place. But this little room no go "wrrrr". Is only big hole there. Is deep hole, DONT wonder?



OUCH! Yes, deep hole! But now DONT on new place too. MAGIC LITTLE ROOM STILL WORK! HOORAY!!!



Here more squeaks but they no furry. DONT no like.



DONT find in little wood room black cloth that no one need. Thinks can burrow.



Ooo, look good. Now look like big furry-squeak kill hero from picture paper!

[Hottentot]

Bad mess. Me make one like it in metal home once and grand daddy was very no happy like. Make DONT clean mess for week and scream all time.



Me remember me also had stuff like here in wood room before mess come. Me think was wrong button or sumfink me press on tick-tick-boom thingy. Me decide take stuff so no one dumb can go press wrong buttons.



Here me find more mess. Me wonder what behind it? Maybe is candy? Candy always behind closed doors so me can no take?

Well, me smart! Me know how get candy!! Demoncrats can no take all candy themself when me so smart!!



First take tick-tick-boom and press button.



Then run away bye!!



OUCH! ME THINK ME FORGET SUMFINK! AND NOW TICK-TICK BOOM GO ALL BOOM AND NO MORE TICK-TICK!! WAAAAAAH!!!



Demoncrats win this round. Me go away bye!



Me go back to wall home, and show all nice furry-squeak heads to pretty girl. Marry pretty girl and have wubba-wubba!



Gur? Pretty girl live in big box home but now here only funny laundry cloth man who look very no happy like and scream like grand daddy.



Hur?



Find? Find?

ME GET IT, ME GET IT!! IS HIDE AND SEEK!! ME FIND PRETTY GIRL AND THEN SHE MARRY AND HAVE WUBBA-WUBBA!! FUN!!



OK, here me go! Yoohoo! Pretty girl! You here? No? Here?! No??!!



Yoohoo! Pretty giiiiiirl!! You hear DONT?? Shout "NO" if not!!



WHERE YOU PRETTY GIRL? DONT ALREADY LOOK MANY DAYS!! THIS NO SO FUN!! IS HOT HERE!!



Not here.



And not here?



Halo Spiky Man! You know where pretty girl? No?



Me find this new wall home after some shiny sky ball go ups. Maybe is pretty girl hide here? Me go look!

[Hottentot]

Halo! Pretty Girl?!



Kill-Ian? That way? OK! That way, Kill-Ian, that way, Kill-Ian, that way...



"HOUSE-PIT-ALL"?? Maybe Kill Ian in pit?



In house is nice man who like talk with me but is very no fast. That OK. No all can be so good conversionist like me.



Is also white cloth man who nice to me. Me like house-pit-all!



BOOM STUFF!! In this place everything me like! Is bestest house pit all ever!!



And here pit. Me go look!



Hee, funny short man live in pit! Is magic fairy!



Magic fairy very good conversionist!



Magic fairy guard chest like magic fairy always do. Me want play game! Me tell magic fairy he look away and me take look in chest. Me promise is fun! Me know only fun games so must be!



Magic fairy no happy like when me look and shoot with ra-ta-ta-ta-stick. Make DONT remember: PAIN HURT!!!



DONT PUNCH MAGIC FAIRY! MANY TIME!! STOOPID MAGIC FAIRY!!!



Magic fairy! Can DONT now look in chest! Say no if no can!

Magic fairy no talky like. Means can look! Yay!! Thank you magic fairy!

Eww! Is only many hand, foot and head here! Why magic fairy have icky stuff in chest? Magic fairy in picture paper always have gold! Maybe magic fairy poor? Heehee, poor people stoopid demoncrats and is OK point finger and laugh! Heehee magic fairy!

No fun! Magic fairy no say anything when me point and laugh! Me go away bye.



When me get back up, white cloth man no happy and tell go away bye. Is OK. Me decide go away bye anyway. See you!



But white cloth man speak no true! When me go away bye, nice man take big boom stick and point me!



Well, DONT can go boom too! DONT go boom rock! BOOM!! BOOM!!



Man try run, but now make DONT very no happy like! DONT go punch man! Many many time!



OK, white cloth man and all friend go tomato sauce. No me go away bye.



Nice man has lots nice stuff. Me think no need no more so me take.



Yay! Me look very manly now!

[Hottentot]

Gene-ral-sto-re. Shop man sell sold-here here?



Boring place. Is only ugly hair man. Me ask is pretty girl hide here.



When me ask, chocolate man come in and point boom stick to ugly hair man. Me first very no sure what do but then me get it!



Kill Ian! Kill Ian! Me get it! Me extra smart!!



OK. Me no sure who here Ian but all go tomato sauce now. What me win?!



Maybe is game and me must find price? Me no sure. Me look hard but is no here.



Well, me look some place other then.



Me stop in small box home and ask if pretty girl here, but thin man tell me word mommy say can no say. Mommy say must put soap in mouth when say word.



Me have no soap so try put fist in thin man mouth and he go tomato sauce?



Then me get it! He demoncrat who keep raw-bubble-can moo-moo in cage! Me help Moo-Moo! Me open cage so Moo-Moo can go free! Free!



Free Moo-Moo now happy like and thank me. Me hero!



Me no sure what this place because plate have so many word, but me go look if pretty girl hide here.



YAY! PRETTY GIRL!! ME FIND!! WUBBA-WUBBA!! WANT WUBBA-WUBBA!!



Why no hair man also here? Pretty girl marry? WHY?! No hair man no can kill fur-squeak good like DONT! DONT ANGRY!!



Ooo, pretty girl also angry! Try punch with sharp stick.



And no hair man show DONT boot! Why all so mean to DONT?!



HAMMY HAMMER MAKE NO HAIR MAN FLY! NO HAIR MAN MAN JUST JELLY-OWS BECAUSE NO HAVE SO GOOD HAMMER LIKE HAMMY!



Pretty girl also meet Hammy because so no nice like to DONT!



OK, pretty girl now tomato sauce. But now all pretty girl friend look DONT like grand daddy.



Why we no all can just be get along like?

[Hottentot]

Hottentot think extra update fun!

- - - - - - - - - -


After all pretty girl friend meet Hammy, DONT go look pretty girl and see pretty girl no pretty girl but some other girl. No-pretty girl almost fool DONT, but lucky thing DONT so smart no can fool easy. DONT look really pretty girl in room, but no find under bed. No here.



Me no know why but when me look pretty girl, me meet two people who say me help and then try punch me. Me no know what they want because now man and woman very quiet like. Make funny "splortch" noise when DONT new friend Pointy Pole meet tummy.



Ooo, puppy! DONT always want own puppy but mommy say no can have! Now DONT big boy and have own puppy!



When DONT show puppy nice black cloth, puppy want play tag with DONT. Yay!



Not far is super big box house with lots of shiny light. Me hear people laugh so me think is funny place and go look.



Me use all door and see inside small box house live table man. Heehee, he fat!



Teehee fat! Fat, fat, fat-fat-fat, fatso fatty fat-fat!



Table man go all red face and point boom stick to me. Me tell puppy eat fatty so puppy grow big and strong like me.

Fatty man no fun no more. Me think whole new wall home stoopid place. Me leave! Go away bye!



Me no get it. Me tell door man me kill Ian like door man say and think door man proud of me. But then door man scream and try punch me. Puppy say door man taste bad. Me think door man bad man to bone.



No like new wall home! DONT never come back! Pretty girl not here anyway.



Yoohoo! Pretty girl! Me come again!



Whew. Me dig lots of small yellow stuff in dessert but pretty girl no under it. Me follow nose to stinky home that smell bad and is all very empty like.



here only these green-red people who no very talky like. Me go ask if see pretty girl!



When me come say: "Halo! Pretty girl?", all green-red people scream much and come punch me! Is like DONT say some bad thing?



Huh? All green-red people go now red people. Me go ask some other.



Uh, halo?



Is me forget brush teeth or why all so no nice like to me?



No really? They no like me say them pretty girl?



OK! Me find pretty girl alone then! Maybe is hide in hole home? Me look!



Uh, is no pretty girl! Is only stinky green-red man who no try punch me. Is nice me think.

[Hottentot]

He nice but no see pretty girl, so me go away bye.



Me go no far when green-red man say is some bad thing in stone home. Me am brave hero man! Me no fear! Me go look what bad is in cave home! Green-red man no worry! DONT save all!



OOOOOO, green-red man right! Is many fur-squeak in cave home! But is no more! DONT make all go tomato sauce! DONT save world again! Huzaa!



OK, is bad thing no more. Green-red man happy me think. So me go away bye from cave home. When me climb very much up like, me look around and see...



MONSTER MAN!!!!



But Monster Man is nice monster. No punch DONT. DONT understand: bad people always no like big, green and no talky like. But DONT am no prejudge and see inner nice thing. Monster man and DONT like DONT and Monster man.



But now DONT want meet boss man Monster man talk of. Maybe is in box home?



Boss man?



Yes! Must is! Is so extra smart!



DONT happy have so deep conversion with Monster boss. DONT no find many conversion people in travel. DONT sorry say must go, but still must find pretty girl.



Boss man have in cage home green-red man. Maybe is bad green-red man? DONT always go cage home in metal home when DONT am bad?



Green-red man booble some stuff but me no listen, so me go away bye. Green-red man scream very much like but no long can hear.



Aha! Here again hole! Is so sect-grid like hole me think this where pretty girl hide. Pretty girl! Me here! Me come now! No hide no more OK!



Ug, is no pretty girl. Is two white-red man who eat lamp. Look DONT very no happy like with lamp eye. Me think no long and then know what me do!



REMEMBER ELA LAMA!!!!



Ooo, lamp man stomach drink make pointy pole shiny! AGAIN!! AGAIN!!!



Waah, all lamp man no shiny no more. Me go look is more here.



Ooo, is again magic room! DONT like magic room! Magic room always take DONT to new extiting adventure! Vrooooom!



Ding! Now me in new place again. New place like old place only more new.



Yay, lamp man go pointy pole go shiny again!

[Hottentot]

Ooo, many lamp man who make no lamp man go tomato sauce. Maybe me go away all no talky like. Sneak, sneak, sneak...



Hey! DONT know what here is! Is talky box who always do stuff when DONT touch button! Grand daddy always say no can touch, but now me sure grand daddy no here. Whee, talky box all DONT's now!!



Uh, me think me make talky box go ouch. No talky no more. But give DONT nice gift. Is nicest gift DONT ever see!



Oops, lamp man no happy talky box no more talk.



Now all lamp man go tomato sauce like no lamp man too. Maybe now happy, but no can know when lamp man say no thing no more.



Ooo! Now DONT know what DONT do! DONT run very very fast like and show nice gift to grand daddy! Grand daddy sure is happy like when see how nice gift is! Yes!! Then ice cream!



DONT run over tomato sauce no more lampy man!



And pass big monster man...



Meet again no punchy green-red man who now very talky like...



But DONT no can stop listen because is miss-ion DONT must do! It no can be very important anyway...



So DONT say buh-bye to punchy now only red man too...



And walk up very long time.



DONT come back to metal home door but forget metal home have big door. DONT think hard what DONT do. Then remember how in picture paper one time see man give hand door and say "Booshka-wooshka" and door open.

BOOSHKA-WOOSHKA!



Yay! Sect-grid word work! Grand daddy so proud DONT remember grand daddy want see DONT "right away". Then say: "no DONT no walk away DONT go meet grand daddy!!"

[Hottentot]

Halo grand daddy!



DONT am happy come back too!



DONT can hug?



Why grand daddy want ship?



Ow! No must scream grand daddy! DONT show nice gift DONT take home, maybe now is grand daddy happy like?



Ooo, grand daddy very happy like! DONT am good? DONT get cookkie?!



Yay! DONT am good! DONT can...can...?



HOORAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Now all people in metal home happy like. All think gift nice. DONT am happy! Final have many friend!!



Grand daddy also happy like. Want talk DONT. Say is "import-ant". Yay! DONT all time want own pet ant! Grand daddy bestest grand daddy ever!!



Gnuh? No ant? Grand daddy say must do sumfink? Then get import ant? OK!! Grand daddy no worry! DONT am go save world!!



Must save world, must save world, must save world, must save world...



Must save world, must save world, must save world, must save world...



Must save world, must save world, must save world, must save world...



Must save world, must save world, must save world, must save world...



Must save world, must save world, must...whuh...



What DONT do again?



No remember? DONT go walk down.

[Hottentot]

DONT walk down many many shiny sky ball go ups and shiny sky ball go downs and then find new cart home. DONT think go look what in all cart.



No, think no want look now! Black-blue man here!! Me go away and hope he no ask where stuff me burrow in wall home.



Me try ask if anybody see pretty girl but all only speak much no make sense stuff.



"MARK-ET"? Me no know what "et" be, but me ask if can there mark where pretty girl.



Me ask info here.



Halo?



Anybody?



Bah! They no understand! Me ask here!



NO CAN SLEEP STOOPID METAL MAN! IS HIDE AND SEEK GAME!!



Oooooo! This box home me like!!



CAT-SLING-GUN! CAT-SLING-GUN!! CAT-SLING-GUN!!!



Gun-mommy no say lot but point door. Me go out and all way where gun-mommy point. Maybe is cat-sling-gun here?



Halo! DONT want CAT-SLING-GUN!



OOOO!!! RAW-CAT-LAUNDER!!! WANT!!! WANT!!!



DONT give nice bottle hat! Is nicest bottle hat ever! DONT clean self!!

No?



DONT give many bottle hat!!

No?



DONT GIVE ALL STUFF DONT HAVE!!!!!!!!!!!!



No. No give raw-cat-launder. But give many manly new cloth. DONT like. Is like Gee-Eye-Joe from picture paper!



Also get new friend. Call friend "Super Hammy". Shop man say Super Hammy make head go boom!



OK, DONT am go back see where pretty girl. Maybe is hide in down stair? DONT am always hide down stair in metal home. Near metal home vroom-vroom machine that make DONT pee glow in dark after play.

[Hottentot]

Ooo, is dark here. DONT wonder if pee still glow?



In end place is many new people. DONT am think they too play hide and seek. Me find! Me win!



They no happy when me find them.



DONT AM NO LIKE BAD LOSER! DONT PUNCH!!



Super Hammy make head go boom! Yay! But now all stuff all red! No like!



When me take stuff, new man come to room and tell me win game. Me think new man speak funny.



But funny speak man say no can play again! Funny speak man demoncrat too! Demomcrat always say all must can win and is no good when DONT am always bestest! DONT NO LIKE THAT!!!!



Funny speak man have good stuff too. DONT burrow because is demoncrat and no say no when DONT ask if can take.



Then me am see if pretty girl in small box home?



Yow! Is no pretty girl! Is ra-ta-ta-ta man!



DONT like cart home. Cart home have many man with nice stuff.



In small box home in box home me find man. Me try tickle and see if is pretty girl in disguste.



He happy me here and run away bye before me ask if he pretty girl or no.



Ooo, somebody sing! DONT also like sing! DONT want!!



But he talk funny. Me no know what is moon so just say sumfink and go away bye.



Halo? Knock-Knock?



SMALL MONSTER MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



DONT AM RUN AWAY BYE SO MONSTER MAN NO CAN EAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



What this place? Is pretty color picture. Me go see.