How to provoke the traffic police

AdeptCharge · 05-04-11, 01:43 PM

Having been pulled over in your motor vehicle..... Police -will you turn of your ignition, and step out of the vehicle for me, is this your car sir? (YES) Do you know the registration number? (YES, THEN PAUSE FOR SOME TIME) Well what is it then? (IT IS THE MARK IN WHICH THE VEHICLE IS DISTINGUISHED FROM OTHER VEHICLES BY THE DRIVER VEHICLE LICENSING AUTHORITY, DVLA, AND MAY THUS BE IDENTIFIED BY THE CENTRAL COMPUTER AT SWANSEA). Mike! assistance please we got a comedian. How fast do you think you were going then? (IF I WERE TO RELY ENTIRELY ON THE ACCURACY OF THE CARS SPEEDOMETER, I WOULD SAY THAT I WAS TRAVELLING AT 27 MILES PER HOUR AT THE MOMENT THAT I PASSED YOUR STATIONARY VEHICLE). We clocked you at 45-50, you were speeding along! Mike, yes pushing on you were. (NO. IMPOSSIBLE, ALLOW ME TO ELUCIDATE). (I PULLED AWAY FROM THE TRAFFIC LIGHTS WHICH WE SHALL REFER TO AS 'X' NOW, MY STARTING VELOCITY WAS 'U' WHICH EQUALS NAUGHT, ACCELERATING AT A RATE OF 'A' METERS PER SECOND SQUARED, TO REACH POINT 'Y' AT TERMINAL VELOCITY 'V' IN TIME 'T'. WE OF COURSE ASSUME CONSTANT ACCELERATION. 3 MINS LATER... THIS OF COURSE DOES NOT TAKE INTO ACCOUNT THE GEARING RATIOS OF THE VEHICLE, BUT THE ACCURACY WOULD NOT BE AFFECTED BY MORE THAN 01 IE MILE PER HOUR PLUS OR MINUS 10% SO EVEN ASSUMING AN ACCURACY OF 98% FOR THE CO-EFFICIENT OF FRICTION ON A WET SURFACE.... 2 MINS LATER... SO 'V' IS LESS THAN, OR EQUAL TO TWENTY SEVEN MILES PER HOUR. WELL WITHIN THE SPEED LIMIT). SMASH!!! Here your head lights bust. (I HAVE JUST WITNESSED YOU DELIBERATELY BREAK IT WITH YOUR TRUNCHEON, FORENSIC TESTS WILL NO DOUBT PROVE THIS). Its an offence to drive a motor vehicle in that state. (INDEED BUT I HAVE A SPARE HEADLIGHT IN THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT). Right I've had enough of this your going into the back of the special van that is on its way. Hmmm... ( I FEAR A FAMILIAR SCENARIO IN WHICH I WILL BE SYSTEMATICALLY BEATEN WITHIN THE CONFINES OF THE VEHICLE, OUT OF SIGHT OF THE PUBLIC AND CONSEQUENTLY MY INJURIES BLAMED ON A FICTITIOUS ACCIDENT INVOLVING STAIRS AT THE POLICE STATION, EVIDENCE WILL BE FALSIFIED TO BACK UP THIS STORY, I WILL SUBSEQUENTLY BE JAILED FOR ASSAULTING AN POLICE OFFICER AND RESISTING ARREST.

05-04-11, 01:43 PM	#1
AdeptCharge Torpedoman Join Date: Sep 2010 Posts: 111 Downloads: 19 Uploads: 0	How to provoke the traffic police Having been pulled over in your motor vehicle..... Police -will you turn of your ignition, and step out of the vehicle for me, is this your car sir? (YES) Do you know the registration number? (YES, THEN PAUSE FOR SOME TIME) Well what is it then? (IT IS THE MARK IN WHICH THE VEHICLE IS DISTINGUISHED FROM OTHER VEHICLES BY THE DRIVER VEHICLE LICENSING AUTHORITY, DVLA, AND MAY THUS BE IDENTIFIED BY THE CENTRAL COMPUTER AT SWANSEA). Mike! assistance please we got a comedian. How fast do you think you were going then? (IF I WERE TO RELY ENTIRELY ON THE ACCURACY OF THE CARS SPEEDOMETER, I WOULD SAY THAT I WAS TRAVELLING AT 27 MILES PER HOUR AT THE MOMENT THAT I PASSED YOUR STATIONARY VEHICLE). We clocked you at 45-50, you were speeding along! Mike, yes pushing on you were. (NO. IMPOSSIBLE, ALLOW ME TO ELUCIDATE). (I PULLED AWAY FROM THE TRAFFIC LIGHTS WHICH WE SHALL REFER TO AS 'X' NOW, MY STARTING VELOCITY WAS 'U' WHICH EQUALS NAUGHT, ACCELERATING AT A RATE OF 'A' METERS PER SECOND SQUARED, TO REACH POINT 'Y' AT TERMINAL VELOCITY 'V' IN TIME 'T'. WE OF COURSE ASSUME CONSTANT ACCELERATION. 3 MINS LATER... THIS OF COURSE DOES NOT TAKE INTO ACCOUNT THE GEARING RATIOS OF THE VEHICLE, BUT THE ACCURACY WOULD NOT BE AFFECTED BY MORE THAN 01 IE MILE PER HOUR PLUS OR MINUS 10% SO EVEN ASSUMING AN ACCURACY OF 98% FOR THE CO-EFFICIENT OF FRICTION ON A WET SURFACE.... 2 MINS LATER... SO 'V' IS LESS THAN, OR EQUAL TO TWENTY SEVEN MILES PER HOUR. WELL WITHIN THE SPEED LIMIT). SMASH!!! Here your head lights bust. (I HAVE JUST WITNESSED YOU DELIBERATELY BREAK IT WITH YOUR TRUNCHEON, FORENSIC TESTS WILL NO DOUBT PROVE THIS). Its an offence to drive a motor vehicle in that state. (INDEED BUT I HAVE A SPARE HEADLIGHT IN THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT). Right I've had enough of this your going into the back of the special van that is on its way. Hmmm... ( I FEAR A FAMILIAR SCENARIO IN WHICH I WILL BE SYSTEMATICALLY BEATEN WITHIN THE CONFINES OF THE VEHICLE, OUT OF SIGHT OF THE PUBLIC AND CONSEQUENTLY MY INJURIES BLAMED ON A FICTITIOUS ACCIDENT INVOLVING STAIRS AT THE POLICE STATION, EVIDENCE WILL BE FALSIFIED TO BACK UP THIS STORY, I WILL SUBSEQUENTLY BE JAILED FOR ASSAULTING AN POLICE OFFICER AND RESISTING ARREST.