Jokes about Jewish people

05-09-10, 03:49 PM

Why is it that Jews like to watch pornos in reverse?
They like the part when the hooker gives the money back.

Why do Jews have such big noses?
Because air is free.

What is the favourite sport of the Jewish people?
110 meter electrified hurdles.

What is the shortest book in the world?
Jewish sport heroes.

Moses went down from the Mount:
- Jews, I have for you 2 news, good and bad. Where to begin?
- From good.
- We agreed in ten only.
- COOL!!! What is bad?
- Adultery is included.

Tchocky · 05-09-10, 03:51 PM

How spontaneous

05-09-10, 03:53 PM

Huh?

Stealth Hunter · 05-09-10, 03:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OneToughHerring

Moses went down from the Mount:
- Jews, I have for you 2 news, good and bad. Where to begin?
- From good.
- We agreed in ten only.
- COOL!!! What is bad?
- Adultery is included.

GoldenRivet · 05-09-10, 03:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OneToughHerring

Why is it that Jews like to watch pornos in reverse?
They like the part when the hooker gives the money back.

How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagen?
5 in the car and 27 in the ashtray.

two of my personal favorites

there are jokes about every ethnicity in the world my friend.

this is just more of your sarcastic and provocative rhetoric

Happy Times · 05-09-10, 03:58 PM

I will pay your trip to take your show to Israel, you would get a warm welcome.

05-09-10, 04:05 PM

GoldenRivet · 05-09-10, 04:06 PM

LMAO

05-09-10, 04:13 PM

A little risque, perhaps...

[image deleted because of moderator request]

GoldenRivet · 05-09-10, 04:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OneToughHerring

A little risque, perhaps...

not in good humor like the parting waters one

Schroeder · 05-09-10, 04:26 PM

Are there any jokes about Germans, I sure would like to hear some.

*Edit*
Just remembered an old one which was already told here before I believe but I'll write it down anyway:

What is heaven?
A place where the Brits are the comedians, the Italians the cooks and Germans the mechanics.

What is hell?
A place where the Brits cook, the Germans are comedians and the Italian do the mechanical stuff.

05-09-10, 04:28 PM

Tchocky · 05-09-10, 04:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Schroeder

Are there any jokes about Germans, I sure would like to hear some.

German humour is no laughing matter!

TLAM Strike · 05-09-10, 04:30 PM

German scientists dug 50 meters underground and discovered small pieces of copper. After studying these pieces for a long time, Germany announced that the ancient Germans 25,000 years ago had a nation-wide telephone network.
Naturally, the British government was not that easily impressed. They ordered their own scientists to dig even deeper. 100 meters down, they found small pieces of glass, and they soon announced that the ancient Brits 35,000 years ago already had a nation-wide fibre net.
Israeli scientists were outraged. They dug 50, 100 and 200 meters underground, but found absolutely nothing...
They concluded that the ancient Hebrews 55,000 years ago had cellular telephones.

Platapus · 05-09-10, 04:39 PM

What could be one of the most offensive jokes there is:

A Catholic Priest and a Rabbi were sitting around talking.

Both of them notice some children playing outside.

The Priest says to the Rabbi, "Why don't we go out and screw some of those boys?"

The Rabbi replies, "Great, out of what?"

Yeah, I am going to hell for that one.

05-09-10, 03:49 PM	#1
OneToughHerring Stowaway Posts: n/a Downloads: Uploads:	Jokes about Jewish people Why is it that Jews like to watch pornos in reverse? They like the part when the hooker gives the money back. Why do Jews have such big noses? Because air is free. What is the favourite sport of the Jewish people? 110 meter electrified hurdles. What is the shortest book in the world? Jewish sport heroes. Moses went down from the Mount: - Jews, I have for you 2 news, good and bad. Where to begin? - From good. - We agreed in ten only. - COOL!!! What is bad? - Adultery is included. Last edited by XabbaRus; 05-11-10 at 09:10 AM. Reason: Edited the last joke out. More sick then funny.

05-09-10, 03:51 PM	#2
Tchocky Navy Seal Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 5,874 Downloads: 6 Uploads: 0	How spontaneous __________________ [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

05-09-10, 03:58 PM	#6
Happy Times Ocean Warrior Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Finland Posts: 2,950 Downloads: 10 Uploads: 0	I will pay your trip to take your show to Israel, you would get a warm welcome. __________________

05-09-10, 04:06 PM	#8
GoldenRivet Subsim Aviator Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Texas Posts: 8,726 Downloads: 146 Uploads: 0	LMAO __________________

05-09-10, 04:13 PM	#9
OneToughHerring Stowaway Posts: n/a Downloads: Uploads:	A little risque, perhaps... [image deleted because of moderator request] Last edited by OneToughHerring; 05-10-10 at 09:01 AM.

05-09-10, 03:53 PM	#3
OneToughHerring Stowaway Posts: n/a Downloads: Uploads:	Huh?

05-09-10, 04:05 PM	#7
OneToughHerring Stowaway Posts: n/a Downloads: Uploads:

05-09-10, 04:26 PM	#11
Schroeder Navy Seal Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Banana Republic of Germany Posts: 6,170 Downloads: 62 Uploads: 0	Are there any jokes about Germans, I sure would like to hear some. Edit Just remembered an old one which was already told here before I believe but I'll write it down anyway: What is heaven? A place where the Brits are the comedians, the Italians the cooks and Germans the mechanics. What is hell? A place where the Brits cook, the Germans are comedians and the Italian do the mechanical stuff. __________________ Putting Germ back into Germany.

05-09-10, 04:28 PM	#12
OneToughHerring Stowaway Posts: n/a Downloads: Uploads:

05-09-10, 04:30 PM	#14
TLAM Strike Navy Seal Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Rochester, New York Posts: 8,633 Downloads: 29 Uploads: 6	German scientists dug 50 meters underground and discovered small pieces of copper. After studying these pieces for a long time, Germany announced that the ancient Germans 25,000 years ago had a nation-wide telephone network. Naturally, the British government was not that easily impressed. They ordered their own scientists to dig even deeper. 100 meters down, they found small pieces of glass, and they soon announced that the ancient Brits 35,000 years ago already had a nation-wide fibre net. Israeli scientists were outraged. They dug 50, 100 and 200 meters underground, but found absolutely nothing... They concluded that the ancient Hebrews 55,000 years ago had cellular telephones. __________________

05-09-10, 04:39 PM	#15
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 19,360 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	What could be one of the most offensive jokes there is: A Catholic Priest and a Rabbi were sitting around talking. Both of them notice some children playing outside. The Priest says to the Rabbi, "Why don't we go out and screw some of those boys?" The Rabbi replies, "Great, out of what?" Yeah, I am going to hell for that one. __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.