Signs that you need shoreleave.

[norc24601]

Captains! Care to add to this list? I made this over the weekend after taking Neal Stevens quiz on his thread http://www.subsim.com/radioroom/showthread.php?t=111236
Here are signs that you've been playing SH3/SH4 too long and/or that you need shoreleave. The first two actually happened to me weeks ago :

1. You’re watching discovery channel about ships and get a nasty nagging feeling when a ship moves closer and closer to harbor (you’re subconsciously trying to estimate her AOB).
2. Driving your car, you find yourself looking at other cars and muttering “70 degree starboard…20 to port”.
3. You’re watching discovery channel about ships and went crazy because each time you estimate an AOB, the ship would turn away.
4. In a car with a friend, you suddenly shout “Left full rudder!” when you see another car veering into yours.
5. Same as above but you add “Crash dive!” in a serious manner.
6. Your wife/husband starts to call you “Herr Kaleun”.
7. And you start calling your wife/husband “Einz W.O.”.
8. When at the airport, your left hand moves by itself searching the key for emergency crash dive.
9. Once when backing your car into a parking space, you bumped into the other car because you thought it would take a couple of seconds for the car to actually turn.
10. You marvel at your car’s parking brake while thinking “It would make the boat stays put!”.
11. You start calling your plumber “Damage control”.
12. When hunting with friends, they keep telling you that it doesn’t take 6 minutes for your rifle to reload.
13. When hunting with friends, you take a looong time to shoot because you definitely wants to know the deer’s AOB and speed.
14. When hunting with friends, you wish for a FAT or LuT bullets.
15. Before stepping on your car’s throttle pad, you say “Los!”.
16. You say “Los!” every time a pedestrian crosses over your car’s hood ornament.
17. You changed your car’s hood ornament to resemble a periscope’s crosshair. With tick marks.
18. You’ve printed out every single posting in “Sub Skipper’s bag of tricks”.
19. You talk too much when a WWII sub program is on TV (even though you actually weren’t in WWII).
20. You shouted with glee when you see Clark Gable nailed that destroyer with a bow shot in Run Silent Run Deep.
21. Driving to the countryside, your wife/husband keep telling you not to draw lines and waypoints at the family map while the rest of your family insist that the car in front is going “forward” not “on a course of 000”.
22. Your favorite actors are, specifically; Jurgen Prochnow, Gene Hackman, Denzel Washington, Sean Connery, Sam Neill, Scott Glenn, Clark Gable, Burt Lancaster, Robert Mitchum, and Curd Jurgens (and no one else).
23. Seeing your friend in the mall, you shift your rudders full right to 90 degrees and ran on flank speed to set up for a constant bearing shot.
24. Holding your girlfriend/boyfriend in your arms, you calculate her/his bearing, AOB, speed, and course to prepare for a bow shot.
25. You don’t say “kiss”, you say “bow shot”.
26. Being at an epicenter of an earthquake doesn’t excite you as much as seeing your house plumbing leaking.
27. When out camping by the lake, you only come out from your tent at night. Strangely, you feel safe there.
28. You prefer a one man tent.
29. Opening the hood of your car, you scoffed at the “Ferrari” logo and wished for “Krupp”.
30. You don’t say “repaint the car” you say “reskin it” and the painter’s eyes go wide when you ask him/her to put on some rust and weathering effect AFTER the camo pattern.
31. You don’t know who is Roosevelt, but damn well know who Richard O’Kane is (and you’re veery careful to spell his name “Richard”).
32. The terms “Left” and “Right” puzzles you. You only understand “Port” and “Starboard” (and use them in every conversation imaginable).
33. You don’t say “In the back” anymore. You say “Abaft”.
34. Stepping into a bus late for work, you say “Volle fahrt voraus!” after considering that it wasn’t important enoughto go flank speed.
35. When watching a friend on his/her sailboat, you deliberately ignore his/her waving at you because you’re staring at the wakes of the boat.
36. Same as above but you suddenly shouts “I’m getting you NEXT!” with your fist in the air.
37. You’re the CEO of a company and you have a very hard time discouraging yourself from putting on a white cap to the board meeting.
38. At the board meeting, you suddenly become very commanding.
39. You peer into your friend’s binocular and ask him/her where the target lock switch is.
40. Same as above but you’re angry because there’s no way to link them to the TDC.
41. When a stranger asked for a direction to the bus station, he cringed away because you told him:
    • ·Go straight for 5 minutes in standard.
    • ·Left full rudder to 270.
    • ·The bus station is at his 15 degrees starboard.
    • ·Be careful with mines, he should reduce to 1/3 ahead silent running.
42. You suddenly become veeery quiet in the swimming pool.
43. You call your bosses “BdU” and “ComSubPac” even though you’re not in the Navy.
44. You dash inside your house each time an airplane fly above your house.
45. Same as above but instead of running into your living room, you yell “Man the flak gun!” at your next door neighbor.
46. Driving at night, you suddenly horrified by your own headlight because they’re on.
47. Same as above but you’re veery tired because all the other cars have their lights turned on thinking “Aww, another friendly/neutral!”
48. You start calling every stupid or clumsy person “Bernard”.
49. You hang your food on the ceiling of your living room. And strangely feel most at home.
50. You insist to put a binocular on the roof of your car because you’ve already have a periscope installed there.
51. You start to read your car’s speedometer in knots.
52. You drive your car 10mph to “conserve fuel”.
53. The car dealer kicked you out of their showroom because you obnoxiously insisted to get a car with a six reverse settings.
54. You’re watching the movie “Titanic” and you have a strong but strangely familiar mixed-feelings from it, but not because of the story, the song, the actors, and the special effects.
55. When approaching an intersection, you ignore the brake pad and put your car in reverse.
56. Same as above but when the transmission groans, you think “We’ve been hit!”.
57. You go to the local Navy recruiting office and asked whether they still operate Balao class (or type VII) submarines.
58. You start calling your salary “Renown”.
59. The Greywolves Team becomes your lord and master (you have a big tattoo of their logo on your back).
60. You are fearless except when looking at an oil drum and an airplane.
61. While waiting in line, you wish hard for “Time Compression”.
62. “J’attendrai” suddenly becomes your most favorite song (for GWX user).
63. When talking to a friend over a phone, you always state his/her name first and followed by yours…in each sentence.
64. Staring at a laundry machine, you suddenly shouted “Contact!”.
65. You’re puzzled by the GPS in your car because it doesn’t speak German (for those who doesn’t live in Germany).
66. You talk to your GPS too much, mostly asking it to “Report nearest contact”.
67. When meeting your friends at the mall, you approach an information panel and plots an interception course.
68. When you actually meet your friends, you went crazy and hopping conversation from one person to the next.
69. Afterwards, you suddenly drew away from them veery quietly.
70. You play SH3 and subconsciously wave back at those people at the dock.
71. You make your bookstore clerk go crazy because for five days straight you’ve been coming to his store asking for “TDC manual”.
72. When buying a new car you spotted a car with an automatic transmission and thought “Not much realism there”. You always end up buying the manual one.
73. You don’t say “Duck!”, you say “Dive!”.
74. Arriving at the restaurant with your date, you turn off your car’s engine and say to her/him “Alle maschinen stopp!”.
75. When your colleague complains about his/her MS-Word, the first thing you ask is “What mods are you running?”.
76. Going to work for you means putting on a march band CD and say “Honey, I’m going out on another patrol!” (even though you’re not in the Navy).
77. Working as a newspaper delivery, your aim got better and better.
78. You’re always the first one outside the building each time a fire drill takes place.
79. You seriously considering to put a bearing indicator on your windscreen.
80. When buying a car, you asks the salesperson whether the clock is draggable.
81. Your sailing boat has dive planes.
82. Working in sales, you proudly fly small flags for each customer you’ve persuaded to buy your stuff. The hard ones in reds.
83. Eighties? Nineties? Rap? No, you listens to the fourties and fifties (it’s modern music for you) even though you were born in 1990.
84. You start to refer to your small apartment as “The type II” and smile about it (it’s agreeable because it doesn’t have a backdoor for stern shot).
85. You’re thinking about “Mods” for every facets of your life.
86. You dislike “Soup”.
87. You don’t shave.
88. “Alarm” becomes a household word for dangers.
89. You carry a stopwatch everywhere you go.
90. You start calling the front gate “The outer door”.
91. When holding your car’s steering wheel, you’re confused because “There’s so many rotating indicators!”.
92. You don’t believe in digital indicators anymore.
93. You’re take Neal Stevens’ quiz veeery seriously.
94. You never go out without take these five things : a stopwatch, a ruler, a protractor, a compass, and that dear old custom-made AOB finder wheel.
95. Coming home for a vacation, when no one is watching you, you kiss your copy of SH3 and SH4 saying “Your captain misses you sooo much!”.
96. You always play SH3 and SH4 on 1x1 time compression (yeesh!).
97. Looking at your car’s rear lamps, you wonder why the “starboard” one is also red.
98. You’re making this list or something similar.
    
99. You’re reading this list (and solemnly nod your head).
100. You add something to this list.

[magic452]

I love #26

I've been through a few quakes in my time

An earthquake is nothing more than heavy weather
but leaking pipes is "We are taking damage sir"

Magic

[Gunfighter]

When you have a Angry Neighbour and you say to your wife "Man Your Battle Stations". Then Boy you are realy gone

[Schroeder]

101. You only bath/shower on shore leaves....every two to three months.
102. You are calling your TV set RADAR.
103. Whenever you receive an Email you are shocked that the sender didn't encode it with an ENIGMA.
104. Your phone calls take less than 20 sec. because you are afraid some ASW vessel might detect you.
105. You order your kids to stand watch on your balcony.
106. You believe that one bunk for two kids is enough.
107. You store food stuff in your bathroom.

That's all I can think up right now.

[Platapus]

Originally Posted by Schroeder

106. You believe that one bunk for two kids is enough.

That one made me laugh. Good job.

[norc24601]

eheheh, thanks you guys

[SS-Grimmfish]

108. You smile knowingly to yourself every morning when turning on the shower.

109. While waiting for the ferry you wonder how many tonnes she is.

110. While waiting for the ferry you wonder why no one has torp'd her yet ... such an easy target.

[VonHesse]

111. When scrolling through this forum, you keep hitting "Shift" expecting it to scroll faster - ala free cam

[Hylander_1314]

Dude, in #22 you forgot Cary Grant, John Garfield, and Alan Hale. You know, Destination Tokyo! That was one of my favorites as a kid. Real WWII era film.

[Task Force]

112. you see Huge cargo ships and think "where did I put the torpedos..."

113. you give your friends Uboat numbers and expect them to use them...

114. you spend you entire day trying to find ships...

115. you feel uncomfterable when SH3 is uninstalled... (I have to reinstall it.)

[Pioneer]

116. You swap out every white light in the house for a red one to keep your night vision.

[G2B]

117. You start referring to the misses as COB