Conspiracy Theorist Convinces Neil Armstrong Moon Landing Was Faked

[Onkel Neal]

Well, this blows my mind.

Apollo 11 mission commander and famed astronaut Neil Armstrong shocked reporters at a press conference Monday, announcing he had been convinced that his historic first step on the moon was part of an elaborate hoax orchestrated by the United States government.
According to Armstrong, he was forced to reconsider every single detail of the monumental journey after watching a few persuasive YouTube videos, and reading several blog posts on conspiracy theorist Ralph Coleman's website, OmissionControl.org.

"It only took a few hastily written paragraphs published by this passionate denier of mankind's so-called 'greatest technological achievement' for me to realize I had been living a lie, " said a visibly emotional Armstrong, addressing reporters at his home. "It has become painfully clear to me that on July 20, 1969, the Lunar Module under the control of my crew did not in fact travel 250,000 miles over eight days, touch down on the moon, and perform various experiments, ushering in a new era for humanity. Instead, the entire thing was filmed on a soundstage, most likely in New Mexico."

"This is the only logical interpretation of the numerous inconsistencies in the grainy, 40-year-old footage," Armstrong added.

Although Armstrong said he "could have sworn" he felt the effects of zero gravity while soaring out of the Earth's atmosphere and through space, he now believed his memory must be flawed. He also admitted feeling "ashamed" that he had failed to notice the rippling of the American flag he and Buzz Aldrin planted on the surface, blaming his lack of awareness on the bulkiness of the spacesuit and his excitement about traveling to the "moon."

"That rippling is not possible in the vacuum of space," Armstrong said. "It must have been the wind from an air-conditioning duct that I didn't recognize because you can't hear a damn thing inside those helmets."

[Aramike]

Originally Posted by Neal Stevens

Well, this blows my mind.

Gotta love The Onion! Best parady news outlet ever...

[mapuc]

This Conspiracy Theorist, has seen The Capricon(don't know if I have spelled it right thou), one or two times to much.

Markus

[bookworm_020]

So when is NASA confirming that the moon is made of cheese???

[Task Force]

Originally Posted by bookworm_020

So when is NASA confirming that the moon is made of cheese???

No duah... the moons made of cheese...

[Biggles]

Originally Posted by bookworm_020

So when is NASA confirming that the moon is made of cheese???

This guy proved it, but it's still uncertain what kind....Limberger maybe?

[AVGWarhawk]

I have that movie Biggles. Well, my girls do. I watch it though. Wallace and Grommet are cool. In a cheesy short of way

[Raptor1]

You fools, it's the opposite, cheese is made out of moonstuff!

[MothBalls]

Here's more proof.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/8226075.stm

A treasured piece at the Dutch national museum - a supposed moon rock from the first manned lunar landing - is nothing more than petrified wood, curators say.

It was given to former Prime Minister Willem Drees during a goodwill tour by the three Apollo-11 astronauts shortly after their moon mission in 1969.

Not sure which is worse, that they got duped or it took them 40 years to figure it out.





I'm really having a hard time deciding what to believe. I just saw shocking proof that Michael Jackson is alive, as well as Elvis, Abraham Lincoln and Jesus. Here's a link to the shocking video proof.

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=27b_1251609827

It must be true, I saw it myself on the Internets.

[Aramike]

Originally Posted by MothBalls

Here's more proof.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/8226075.stm

Not sure which is worse, that they got duped or it took them 40 years to figure it out.





I'm really having a hard time deciding what to believe. I just saw shocking proof that Michael Jackson is alive, as well as Elvis, Abraham Lincoln and Jesus. Here's a link to the shocking video proof.

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=27b_1251609827

It must be true, I saw it myself on the Internets.

OK, for about two frightening seconds I thought you were serious...

[Skybird]

Now you know why I think beyond a certain age holders of driving licenses should undergo a yearly requalification test to prove they are still fit (like pilots must do, too), and voting rights should be suspended.

BTW I never was here, and this forum never existed. It's all a fake, and you all hallucinated when talking with me.

[MothBalls]

Originally Posted by Skybird

Now you know why I think beyond a certain age holders of driving licenses should undergo a yearly requalification test to prove they are still fit (like pilots must do, too), and voting rights should be suspended.

I think they should do the same with marriage licenses as well. After three years it automatically expires unless you decide to renew it, and then only for one year at a time.

Originally Posted by Skybird

BTW I never was here, and this forum never existed. It's all a fake, and you all hallucinated when talking with me.

I knew it. My pusher in the 70's told me that I'd never have flashbacks from shrooms. He lied.

[MothBalls]

Originally Posted by Aramike

OK, for about two frightening seconds I thought you were serious...

Well..... the top part, about the moon rock being petrified wood, that is true. it's a BBC story. Search the web and you'll get tons of references, especially in the science sites.



The bottom half, I'm still skeptical. I can believe the MJ, Elvis, and Jesus got out of the van. I'm having a hard time with the concept of Abraham Lincoln being part of this. I read somewhere else on the internets that he actually did die and his still being here was an urban legend.

[Raptor1]

Originally Posted by MothBalls

I read somewhere else on the internets that he actually did die and his still being here was an urban legend.

Pfft, silly conspiracy theories, you shouldn't listen to anything you read on the internets!

I mean, we have absolute photographic proof, it must be true!