Newspaper Headlines

Jimbuna · 05-11-09, 10:54 AM

The following headlines were actually printed in newspapers. The irony in some of these are absolutely astonishing, hilariously funny (though sometimes awkward). Check them out:

- Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One
- Miners Refuse to Work after Death
- Include Your Children when Baking Cookies
- Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
- Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
- Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
- Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
- Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
- Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
- Survivor of siamese Twins Joins Parents
- Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
- Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
- Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
- British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands
- Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms
- Enraged Cow Injures Farmer With Axe
- Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
- Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
- War Dims Hope for Peace
- Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
- Deer Kill 17,000
- Stolen Painting Found by Tree
- Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy
- Arson Suspect Held in Massachusetts Fire
- Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood
- Local High School Drop-outs Cut in Half
- New Vaccine May Contain Rabies
- Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
- Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years in Checkout Counter
- Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years
- Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
- Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge
- New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
- Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
- Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
- Eye Drops Off Shelf
- Teachers Strike Idle Kids
- Clinton Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead
- Princess Diana Was Alive Hours Before She Died

Dowly · 05-11-09, 10:59 AM

Haha! Nice one!

SteamWake · 05-11-09, 11:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jimbuna

- Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

Thats dealin with it ! :rotfl:

Jimbuna · 05-11-09, 11:34 AM

So many good ones, this is my favourite

Quote:

Iraqi Head Seeks Arms

U-104 · 05-11-09, 01:56 PM

"Local High School Drop-outs Cut in Half"

that will keep kids in school.

05-11-09, 10:54 AM	#1
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 190,445 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Newspaper Headlines The following headlines were actually printed in newspapers. The irony in some of these are absolutely astonishing, hilariously funny (though sometimes awkward). Check them out: - Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One - Miners Refuse to Work after Death - Include Your Children when Baking Cookies - Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide - Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead - Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says - Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers - Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted - Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case - Survivor of siamese Twins Joins Parents - Iraqi Head Seeks Arms - Prostitutes Appeal to Pope - Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over - British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands - Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms - Enraged Cow Injures Farmer With Axe - Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told - Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant - War Dims Hope for Peace - Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures - Deer Kill 17,000 - Stolen Painting Found by Tree - Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy - Arson Suspect Held in Massachusetts Fire - Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood - Local High School Drop-outs Cut in Half - New Vaccine May Contain Rabies - Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors - Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years in Checkout Counter - Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years - Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges - Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge - New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group - Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft - Kids Make Nutritious Snacks - Eye Drops Off Shelf - Teachers Strike Idle Kids - Clinton Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead - Princess Diana Was Alive Hours Before She Died __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

05-11-09, 01:56 PM	#5
U-104 Grey Wolf Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: United States Posts: 797 Downloads: 187 Uploads: 0	"Local High School Drop-outs Cut in Half" that will keep kids in school. __________________ My heart is steadfast, O God. I will sing and make music with all my soul. Ps. 108:1 Survival of the fittest does not explain arrival of the fittest. we live in a single spoken sentence.. "God said, let there be"

05-11-09, 10:59 AM	#2
Dowly Lucky Jack Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Finland Posts: 25,052 Downloads: 32 Uploads: 0	Haha! Nice one!