Jesus at the Bar

GoldenRivet · 04-06-09, 11:02 PM

A one legged Irishman hobbles into a bar and has a couple of drinks and notices a man sitting in the corner booth who looks exactly like Jesus.

after throwing back a few pints of Guinness he says to the bartender "Excuse me... is that the lord of lords Jesus Christ sitting in that corner booth over there?"

the bar tender replies "Yes... as a matter of fact it is he has come to visit our fair town in the flesh just for today believe it or not!"

"well blessed mother Mary i wouldn't believe it if i hadnt seen it with me own eyes! send him a drink on me!" said the one legged irish man.

a few minutes later an Englishman in a wheel chair comes rolling through the door and takes his place at the bar and orders a Newcastle Brown Ale.

after drinking a few beers he notices the man in the corner who looks like Jesus and he says to the Bartender

"pardon me... i've taken notice of the gentleman in the corner booth and he favors the Lord... is it Jesus sitting across the pub?"

the bar tender says "Yes sir... sure is. it is Jesus in the flesh and he has come to pay visit to our fair town for just a day."

"well!" says the Englishman "Jolly good! send him a drink! i'll gladly cover his tab!"

a few minutes later a red neck on crutches stumbles into the bar and sits down and orders a bud light.

"Hey bar man!" exclaims the red neck "Is that God's boy over yonder in that there corner table? sure looks a might like Jesus!"

the bar tender again explains that it is in fact Jesus in the flesh visiting for just the day.

"I Tell You What!" says the red neck "Send 'em a bottle of bud light on me partner!"

so after several minutes pass, Jesus stands up and walks toward the odd trio.

placing his hand on the shoulder of the Irishman Jesus says "I have made note of your good deed my son... and your affliction of missing limb is now healed."

instantly the Irishman's leg grows back and he dances a jig rejoicing the miracle.

Then Jesus puts his hand on the Englishman "Your good deed will not go without reward my son, you may rise from your wheel chair and walk a new man."

the Englishman stands up and is instantly able to run and hop as if he had never been in a wheel chair before!

Then Jesus puts his hand on the redneck.

the red neck exclaims "Hey man dont touch me!!! i'm drawing disability!!!"

FIREWALL · 04-06-09, 11:34 PM

kiwi_2005 · 04-07-09, 12:30 AM

Jimbuna · 04-07-09, 04:13 AM

LMAO

Sailor Steve · 04-07-09, 12:05 PM

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Jimbuna · 04-07-09, 04:52 PM

Two redneck hunters were dragging their dead deer back to their pickemup truck.

Another hunter approached pulling his along too. "Hey," says the lone hunter, "I don't want to tell you how to do something... but I can tell you that it's much easier if you drag the deer in the opposite direction. Then the antlers won't dig into the ground."

After the lone hunter left, the two rednecks decided to give it a try.

A little while later one says to the other, "Ya know, that guy was right. This is a lot easier!"

"Yep," the other added, "but we're gittin' further away from the truck...."

04-06-09, 11:02 PM	#1
GoldenRivet Subsim Aviator Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Texas Posts: 8,726 Downloads: 146 Uploads: 0	Jesus at the Bar A one legged Irishman hobbles into a bar and has a couple of drinks and notices a man sitting in the corner booth who looks exactly like Jesus. after throwing back a few pints of Guinness he says to the bartender "Excuse me... is that the lord of lords Jesus Christ sitting in that corner booth over there?" the bar tender replies "Yes... as a matter of fact it is he has come to visit our fair town in the flesh just for today believe it or not!" "well blessed mother Mary i wouldn't believe it if i hadnt seen it with me own eyes! send him a drink on me!" said the one legged irish man. a few minutes later an Englishman in a wheel chair comes rolling through the door and takes his place at the bar and orders a Newcastle Brown Ale. after drinking a few beers he notices the man in the corner who looks like Jesus and he says to the Bartender "pardon me... i've taken notice of the gentleman in the corner booth and he favors the Lord... is it Jesus sitting across the pub?" the bar tender says "Yes sir... sure is. it is Jesus in the flesh and he has come to pay visit to our fair town for just a day." "well!" says the Englishman "Jolly good! send him a drink! i'll gladly cover his tab!" a few minutes later a red neck on crutches stumbles into the bar and sits down and orders a bud light. "Hey bar man!" exclaims the red neck "Is that God's boy over yonder in that there corner table? sure looks a might like Jesus!" the bar tender again explains that it is in fact Jesus in the flesh visiting for just the day. "I Tell You What!" says the red neck "Send 'em a bottle of bud light on me partner!" so after several minutes pass, Jesus stands up and walks toward the odd trio. placing his hand on the shoulder of the Irishman Jesus says "I have made note of your good deed my son... and your affliction of missing limb is now healed." instantly the Irishman's leg grows back and he dances a jig rejoicing the miracle. Then Jesus puts his hand on the Englishman "Your good deed will not go without reward my son, you may rise from your wheel chair and walk a new man." the Englishman stands up and is instantly able to run and hop as if he had never been in a wheel chair before! Then Jesus puts his hand on the redneck. the red neck exclaims "Hey man dont touch me!!! i'm drawing disability!!!" __________________

04-06-09, 11:34 PM	#2
FIREWALL Eternal Patrol Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: CATALINA IS. SO . CAL USA Posts: 10,108 Downloads: 511 Uploads: 0	__________________ RIP FIREWALL I Play GWX. Silent Hunter Who ???

04-07-09, 12:30 AM	#3
kiwi_2005 Eternal Patrol Join Date: May 2004 Location: Aeoteroa Posts: 7,382 Downloads: 223 Uploads: 1	__________________ RIP kiwi_2005 Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.

04-07-09, 04:13 AM	#4
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 190,450 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	LMAO __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

04-07-09, 12:05 PM	#5
Sailor Steve Eternal Patrol Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: High in the mountains of Utah Posts: 50,369 Downloads: 745 Uploads: 249	:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: __________________ “Never do anything you can't take back.” —Rocky Russo

04-07-09, 04:52 PM	#6
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 190,450 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Two redneck hunters were dragging their dead deer back to their pickemup truck. Another hunter approached pulling his along too. "Hey," says the lone hunter, "I don't want to tell you how to do something... but I can tell you that it's much easier if you drag the deer in the opposite direction. Then the antlers won't dig into the ground." After the lone hunter left, the two rednecks decided to give it a try. A little while later one says to the other, "Ya know, that guy was right. This is a lot easier!" "Yep," the other added, "but we're gittin' further away from the truck...." __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!