Fired from work

Jimbuna · 01-23-09, 02:05 PM

The boss had to fire somebody, and he narrowed it down to one of two people, Debra or Jack.
It was an impossible decision because they were both super workers.
Rather than flip a coin, he decided he would fire the first one who used the coffee machine the next morning.
Debra came in the next morning with a horrible hangover after partying all night. She went to the coffee machine to take an aspirin.
The boss approached her and said: 'Debra, I've never done this before but I have to lay you or Jack off.'
'Could you jack off?' she says. 'I feel like sh!t.

<I apologise if some of you have problems reading this because of your board settings....but what colour is the best one to choose?)

Tchocky · 01-23-09, 02:10 PM

Thread title had me thinking you were jobless, jim

Jimbuna · 01-23-09, 02:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tchocky

Thread title had me thinking you were jobless, jim

Not just yet

nikimcbee · 01-23-09, 02:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jimbuna

The boss had to fire somebody, and he narrowed it down to one of two people, Debra or Jack.
It was an impossible decision because they were both super workers.
Rather than flip a coin, he decided he would fire the first one who used the coffee machine the next morning.
Debra came in the next morning with a horrible hangover after partying all night. She went to the coffee machine to take an aspirin.
The boss approached her and said: 'Debra, I've never done this before but I have to lay you or Jack off.'
'Could you jack off?' she says. 'I feel like sh!t.

<I apologise if some of you have problems reading this because of your board settings....but what colour is the best one to choose?)

I didn't know co-workers in The Crown were so easy.:rotfl:

nikimcbee · 01-23-09, 02:42 PM

...and to think, I was going to send you some money because you lost your job.:rotfl:

kranz · 01-23-09, 02:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jimbuna

: 'Debra, I've never done this before but I have to lay you or Jack off.'
'Could you jack off?' she says. 'I feel like sh!t.

someone pls explain me the word-game here coz I don't get it(but I wanna laugh)

Quote:

Originally Posted by jimbuna

<I apologise if some of you have problems reading this because of your board settings....but what colour is the best one to choose?)

no, I won't forgive you this time Jimbuna...

nikimcbee · 01-23-09, 02:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kranz

Quote:

Originally Posted by jimbuna

: 'Debra, I've never done this before but I have to lay you or Jack off.'
'Could you jack off?' she says. 'I feel like sh!t.

someone pls explain me the word-game here coz I don't get it(but I wanna laugh)

Quote:

Originally Posted by jimbuna

<I apologise if some of you have problems reading this because of your board settings....but what colour is the best one to choose?)

no, I won't forgive you this time Jimbuna...

I'll let Jim explain that one.

SteamWake · 01-23-09, 03:11 PM

look if you have to explain the joke its already too late.

Jimbuna · 01-23-09, 03:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mikhayl

I'll try, see if I got it right...
in the context, "I have to lay you or Jack off" = "I have to fire you or Jack", with "laying ... off" = firing (from a job)

but ... "lay you" alone could mean "sleeping with you", and "jack off" alone = jerk off = masturbate.

edit: great one

Precisely mate....excellent explanation

Looks like you've also educated old mcbee into the bargain

kranz · 01-23-09, 04:12 PM

I didn't know that jack off=jerk off. Now it is so funny!

FIREWALL · 01-23-09, 04:21 PM

Don't worry ! You'll make a fortune as a joke writer.

That was hilarious. :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

SteamWake · 01-23-09, 04:27 PM

Like the old joke

"If Jack helps you off the horse will you help Jack off the horse?"

01-23-09, 02:05 PM	#1
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 190,645 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Fired from work The boss had to fire somebody, and he narrowed it down to one of two people, Debra or Jack. It was an impossible decision because they were both super workers. Rather than flip a coin, he decided he would fire the first one who used the coffee machine the next morning. Debra came in the next morning with a horrible hangover after partying all night. She went to the coffee machine to take an aspirin. The boss approached her and said: 'Debra, I've never done this before but I have to lay you or Jack off.' 'Could you jack off?' she says. 'I feel like sh!t. <I apologise if some of you have problems reading this because of your board settings....but what colour is the best one to choose?) __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

01-23-09, 02:10 PM	#2
Tchocky Navy Seal Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 5,874 Downloads: 6 Uploads: 0	Thread title had me thinking you were jobless, jim __________________ [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

01-23-09, 02:42 PM	#5
nikimcbee Fleet Admiral Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Patroling the Slot. Posts: 17,952 Downloads: 90 Uploads: 0	...and to think, I was going to send you some money because you lost your job.:rotfl: __________________

01-23-09, 04:21 PM	#11
FIREWALL Eternal Patrol Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: CATALINA IS. SO . CAL USA Posts: 10,108 Downloads: 511 Uploads: 0	Don't worry ! You'll make a fortune as a joke writer. That was hilarious. :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: __________________ RIP FIREWALL I Play GWX. Silent Hunter Who ???

01-23-09, 03:11 PM	#8
SteamWake Rear Admiral Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 13,224 Downloads: 5 Uploads: 0	look if you have to explain the joke its already too late.

01-23-09, 04:12 PM	#10
kranz The Old Man Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Poland Posts: 1,430 Downloads: 5 Uploads: 0	I didn't know that jack off=jerk off. Now it is so funny!

01-23-09, 04:27 PM	#12
SteamWake Rear Admiral Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 13,224 Downloads: 5 Uploads: 0	Like the old joke "If Jack helps you off the horse will you help Jack off the horse?"