Girls -- Please have a sense of humor!

Jimbuna · 01-20-09, 03:28 PM

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'

I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfit s. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier.'

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'

I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least she knows I'm smarter than her.

UnderseaLcpl · 01-20-09, 03:34 PM

:rotfl: That's hilarious, but you didn't hear it from me, got it?

Jimbuna · 01-20-09, 03:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by UnderseaLcpl

:rotfl: That's hilarious, but you didn't hear it from me, got it?

Rgr that

SteamWake · 01-20-09, 03:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jimbuna

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....

Oh it will be quite some time now

kurtz · 01-20-09, 04:05 PM

Hmm..I think I would be excused sex if I told this.

Wolfehunter · 01-20-09, 04:28 PM

That one sounds familiar.. I read on like that before. Very good.

Kapitan_Phillips · 01-20-09, 07:09 PM

Those are the wisest lines to ever grace a computer screen.

nikimcbee · 01-20-09, 07:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jimbuna

One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'

...and McBee was there to catch it on film!:hmm:

Wolfehunter · 01-20-09, 07:59 PM

Man I love that show... My hole family would watch that... WE laugh so hard...:rotfl:

TarJak · 01-21-09, 01:49 AM

Larf! I almost wore a condom!:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Jimbuna · 01-21-09, 04:38 AM

Nice one

bookworm_020 · 01-21-09, 05:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SteamWake

Quote:

Originally Posted by jimbuna

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....

Oh it will be quite some time now

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Monica Lewinsky · 01-21-09, 10:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jimbuna

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least she knows I'm smarter than her.

Damn, bubba ... Go visit some bars or pubs is my advice. You need to get out more often and get a life :p :

http://learnabit.homeserver.com/lab/Bar_Dame.wmv

Iceman · 01-21-09, 10:39 PM

LOL

:rotfl: :rotfl:

Monica Lewinsky · 01-21-09, 11:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Iceman

LOL

:rotfl: :rotfl:

http://learnabit.homeserver.com/lab/Bar_Dame.wmv

I told ya Jimbuna was missing out on 'sumthin not going to his local pub.

He's the one one the LEFT with more hair.

01-20-09, 03:28 PM	#1
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 190,525 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Girls -- Please have a sense of humor! I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart. FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.' I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!' So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear... 'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.' She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?' Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfit s. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.' We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier.' I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.' Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?' I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.' And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?' Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least she knows I'm smarter than her. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

01-20-09, 03:34 PM	#2
UnderseaLcpl Silent Hunter Join Date: May 2008 Location: Storming the beaches! Posts: 4,254 Downloads: 0 Uploads: 0	:rotfl: That's hilarious, but you didn't hear it from me, got it? __________________ I stole this sig from Task Force

01-20-09, 04:05 PM	#5
kurtz Seasoned Skipper Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Leighton Buzzard,England Posts: 660 Downloads: 39 Uploads: 0	Hmm..I think I would be excused sex if I told this. __________________ War without Fire is like sausages without mustard-Henry V. http://www.myvintagelife.co.uk/

01-20-09, 04:28 PM	#6
Wolfehunter Crusty Capt. Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 2,752 Downloads: 40 Uploads: 25	That one sounds familiar.. I read on like that before. Very good. __________________

01-20-09, 07:09 PM	#7
Kapitan_Phillips Silent Hunter Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Swansea Posts: 3,903 Downloads: 204 Uploads: 0	Those are the wisest lines to ever grace a computer screen. __________________ Well, here's another nice mess you've gotten me into.

01-20-09, 07:59 PM	#9
Wolfehunter Crusty Capt. Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 2,752 Downloads: 40 Uploads: 25	Man I love that show... My hole family would watch that... WE laugh so hard...:rotfl: __________________

01-21-09, 01:49 AM	#10
TarJak Fleet Admiral Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Sydney, Australia Posts: 17,052 Downloads: 150 Uploads: 8	Larf! I almost wore a condom!:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

01-21-09, 04:38 AM	#11
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 190,525 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Nice one __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

01-21-09, 10:39 PM	#14
Iceman Ace of the Deep Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Mesa AZ, Arizona, USA Posts: 1,253 Downloads: 5 Uploads: 0	LOL :rotfl: :rotfl: