Stupid manual writers

SUBMAN1 · 09-05-08, 12:34 AM

I went out and picked up a new BBQ today, and I'm sitting here reading the manual and I am really wondering - Do these manual writers honestly think we are completely stupid? This is a Weber by the way, so you know where this statement comes from:

Quote:

Note - Prolonged tank run time lessons tank life.

Duh! I mean really! If you can probably read that statement, then I'd be willing to bet that you have near 100% chance that you could figure this out all on your own!

That's just one! Here is another!:

Quote:

Warning: Do not lean over open barbecue while lighting.

And another:

Quote:

Warning: Do not hold hand directly above burner when manually lighting.

Give me a break! There are a ton in this thing like this! Figured I'd share a few so at least a few people could have a good smirk over it.

-S

Thomen · 09-05-08, 12:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SUBMAN1

I went out and picked up a new BBQ today, and I'm sitting here reading the manual and I am really wondering - Do these manual writers honestly think we are completely stupid? This is a Weber by the way, so you know where this statement comes from:

Quote:

Note - Prolonged tank run time lessons tank life.

Duh! I mean really! If you can probably read that statement, then I'd be willing to bet that you have near 100% chance that you could figure this out all on your own!

That's just one! Here is another!:

Quote:

Warning: Do not lean over open barbecue while lighting.

And another:

Quote:

Warning: Do not hold hand directly above burner when manually lighting.

Give me a break! There are a ton in this thing like this! Figured I'd share a few so at least a few people could have a good smirk over it.

-S

I suggest reading the Darwin Awards... that ought to enlight you as far as why goes =)

antikristuseke · 09-05-08, 12:41 AM

There is a ton of realyl silly stuff in manuals indeed, but it is there because there are people stupid ennough to do that, get injured and then sue the company for damages because the manual didnt state that this would be a bad idea. Some of those silly lawsuits have been won by those idiots so companies try to cover all possibilities to avoid liability.
My personal favorites are chainsaw manuals where they tell you not to stop a working chainsaw with any part of your body

Stealth Hunter · 09-05-08, 12:46 AM

I love the Chinese manuals...

If you squint hard enough, it gives the characters this cool 3D effect.

UnderseaLcpl · 09-05-08, 04:26 AM

Y'know, this would be funny if there wasn't a valid reason for having such stupid instructions.

I'll leave it at that before I begin complaining about all the idiots who have hurt themselves in some outrageously stupid way and filed a lawsuit.

Platapus · 09-05-08, 04:46 AM

Back when I was in EOD there were safety precautions in all our tech manuals. One that always amused us was:

"Do not eat or ingest explosives"

Why would they need to put that in a tech manual?

Well in 1982, Sra Jeff M. heard the stories about how SF personnel in Viet Nam used to "chew C4" to get a buzz. Being stupid he did not bother to further research the chemistry involved.

One day Jeff was either

1. Drunk on duty and he got a hold of some C4 - very bad situation
2. Drunk off duty and stole some C4 - very bad situation.

The details were not clear as I was not present. But in any case there was the combination of an idiot, alcohol, and C4 explosives. This does not bode well for humanity.

Jeff took a bite out of the C4 like you would bite off a piece of a baby ruth bar. He chewed and swallowed a mouthful of C4.

When we heard the crash we found him in convulsions and had to medevac him off the range. Our Team Chief wanted to stick a blasting cap up his butt to see if he would propagate.

We never wondered why the tech manuals stated "do not eat or ingest explosives" as there are people who will do it.

antikristuseke · 09-05-08, 05:15 AM

I remember reading somewhere that ingesting C4 was done in Vietnam to induce illness to get sent away from combat zones.

UnderseaLcpl · 09-05-08, 05:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Platapus

Back when I was in EOD there were safety precautions in all our tech manuals. One that always amused us was:

"Do not eat or ingest explosives"

HAHAHA! I like the claymores that have "This Side Towards Enemy" on them.

09-05-08, 04:26 AM	#5
UnderseaLcpl Silent Hunter Join Date: May 2008 Location: Storming the beaches! Posts: 4,254 Downloads: 0 Uploads: 0	Y'know, this would be funny if there wasn't a valid reason for having such stupid instructions. I'll leave it at that before I begin complaining about all the idiots who have hurt themselves in some outrageously stupid way and filed a lawsuit. __________________ I stole this sig from Task Force

09-05-08, 04:46 AM	#6
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 19,360 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	Back when I was in EOD there were safety precautions in all our tech manuals. One that always amused us was: "Do not eat or ingest explosives" Why would they need to put that in a tech manual? Well in 1982, Sra Jeff M. heard the stories about how SF personnel in Viet Nam used to "chew C4" to get a buzz. Being stupid he did not bother to further research the chemistry involved. One day Jeff was either 1. Drunk on duty and he got a hold of some C4 - very bad situation 2. Drunk off duty and stole some C4 - very bad situation. The details were not clear as I was not present. But in any case there was the combination of an idiot, alcohol, and C4 explosives. This does not bode well for humanity. Jeff took a bite out of the C4 like you would bite off a piece of a baby ruth bar. He chewed and swallowed a mouthful of C4. When we heard the crash we found him in convulsions and had to medevac him off the range. Our Team Chief wanted to stick a blasting cap up his butt to see if he would propagate. We never wondered why the tech manuals stated "do not eat or ingest explosives" as there are people who will do it. __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

09-05-08, 12:41 AM	#3
antikristuseke Silent Hunter Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Estland Posts: 4,330 Downloads: 3 Uploads: 0	There is a ton of realyl silly stuff in manuals indeed, but it is there because there are people stupid ennough to do that, get injured and then sue the company for damages because the manual didnt state that this would be a bad idea. Some of those silly lawsuits have been won by those idiots so companies try to cover all possibilities to avoid liability. My personal favorites are chainsaw manuals where they tell you not to stop a working chainsaw with any part of your body

09-05-08, 12:46 AM	#4
Stealth Hunter Silent Hunter Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Y'ha-Nthlei Posts: 4,262 Downloads: 19 Uploads: 0	I love the Chinese manuals... If you squint hard enough, it gives the characters this cool 3D effect.

09-05-08, 05:15 AM	#7
antikristuseke Silent Hunter Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Estland Posts: 4,330 Downloads: 3 Uploads: 0	I remember reading somewhere that ingesting C4 was done in Vietnam to induce illness to get sent away from combat zones.