Overcoming Liberalism: A 12-Step Program

SUBMAN1 · 09-03-08, 04:29 PM

“Liberalism isn’t a political philosophy. Liberalism is a mental disorder.” - Savage

"Any man under the age of 30 who isn't a Liberal has no heart, and any man over 30 who is a Liberal has no brain." - Churchill

Overcoming Liberalism: A 12-Step Program
Written by Jeremy Robb

Given the difficulty in bringing Liberals into the light, I thought it might be helpful to provide them with a 12-step program that could make it easier for a successful transition into reality. As Conservatives, we have to remember that we can only be supportive to Liberals in this program. They cannot do it alone, but we also cannot do it for them.

The Program

Step 1: Admitting that you’re a Liberal.
This is the first step for every Liberal on the way to recovery. It is important to understand that you’re not “progressive,” “moderate,” or “enlightened.” You’re a Liberal, and you need to be honest with yourself about that fact.

Step 2: Pledge to support your beliefs with facts.
Realize that truth is more important than moral superiority and is the only way to come over to reality. You must research beyond propaganda from the Sierra Club, Hillary Clinton, and CNN (the Communist News Network) to understand things as they really exist in the world. You can no longer argue based on “feelings” or emotion. You will actually need to back up your arguments with real information. This is a difficult step, because it means you can’t be lazy any more.

Step 3: Love America.
This may be the most difficult step for those of you who are hippies and peaceniks. Admitting that the country you hate actually stands as a beacon to defend freedom throughout the world can make some of you physically ill. You might want to make a visit to a military cemetery to better understand that these men and women gave their lives so that you could spew hatred. Otherwise, you would currently be living in a police state that would never let you wear that nasty patchouli oil, let alone speak out against your government.

Step 4: Take a college level economics class.
I’ve always defined a Socialist as someone who’s never taken an economics class. Most Socialists I’ve spoke with would have a hard time balancing their checkbooks, let alone explaining the simple concept of supply-and-demand. It’s time to flush your complete ignorance of basic economics down the toilet and understand how the world actually functions. This concept will be very important for the next steps that involve Communism, facts about corporations, and the inefficiencies of government.

Step 5: Say “no” to Communism and Socialism.
While this concept is obvious to most of the free world, it is an important step in your recovery process. If you have difficulty with this step, spend a week living and working in Cuba.

Step 6: Corporations are not evil.
If you’re reading this article online or in an e-mail, it’s thanks to corporations. If you get some kind of paycheck, you can thank corporations. If you work for a non-profit or the government, you still have to thank corporations. The non-profit sector and the government wouldn’t have any money to pay you without corporations. It is also important that you understand that making a profit doesn’t equate to “greed” or exploitation. Capitalism has created the greatest society in our world’s history. Even Communist countries need corporations to survive, so enjoy a nice, hot cup of reality.

Step 7: The government is inefficient.
If you are one of those Liberals who believe the government should tax us more in order to take care of society, you need to pay special attention to this step. You need to realize that government bureaucracy will waste most of your tax dollars, while the private sector will put your money to much better use. Even most Democrat politicians understand this to some degree, which is why Hillary’s Socialist healthcare proposal was voted down by a majority of both Democrats and Republicans. Go to your local post office or call the IRS to ask a tax question if you need a reminder about government inefficiency.

Step 8: The earth is not your “mother,” and she’s not dying.
The time has now come to stop your donations to Greenpeace, The Sierra Club, and every other EnviroNazi organization to which you belong. Face the reality that the earth, society, and our environment are better off today than ever in recorded history and that they are continuing to improve. I realize that many of you tree huggers will have a very difficult time letting go of the Douglas Fir on this one. I would suggest reading The Skeptical Environmentalist by Bjorn Lomborg. Mr. Lomborg is a former member of Greenpeace and is currently a statistics professor at a university in Denmark. He set out to prove the world was in bad shape and ended up surprising himself by proving the exact opposite.

Step 9: Stop smoking the wacky tobaccy.
Okay, some of you might need to enter another 12-step program to complete this step. Marijuana is distorting your sense of reality, and you need to stop using it. Besides, you’ll save a fortune on snacks.

Step 10: Eat a hamburger.
If God didn’t intend for us to eat animals, he wouldn’t have made them out of meat. You can put your sprouts and tofu on the hamburger, but get some meat into you. You’ll look and feel better than you ever imagined. You can always remind yourself that Adolf Hitler was a vegetarian to get you through this step.

Step 11: Stop re-writing political history.
It’s now time to admit that Bill Clinton is a lying-cheating-sexist-racist-rapist jackass, Hillary Clinton is one of the worst role models for women in this country, Al Gore really did lose the 2000 election by every vote tabulation you attempt, Ronald Reagan ended the Cold War and didn’t create the homeless problem, John McCain is not a typical Republican, and Jimmy Carter is a nice man but has one of the worst presidential records of anyone in history.

Step 12: Be a missionary.
Once you have completed the previous steps to overcoming Liberalism, it’s time for you to share this awakening with others who are not as fortunate. Go out amongst the Liberal sheep and spread the good word of your freedom from the chains of ignorance that once bound you.Congratulations, and welcome to reality.
----------------------------
**If your efforts fail by Step 12, return to Step 1............If they fail a second time, give up. NOT EVERYONE CAN BE CURED!!**

Letum · 09-03-08, 04:35 PM

Making New GT Posts: A 2-Step Program
Inspired by SUBMAN

1. Ctr+C

2. Ctr+V

antikristuseke · 09-03-08, 04:39 PM

Oh look, a pathetic atempt at humour and satire. *golfclap*

Blacklight · 09-03-08, 04:43 PM

But I WANT to be a Liberal !!!!

Slang · 09-03-08, 05:02 PM

While usually I stay clear of these discussions, and these boards in general. I'd like to say that this is getting out of hand. Politics really brings out the worst in people.You're not going to win anybody over to your side with any of these type of posts. Whether it be "25 ways to be a good republican", or "How to be a good democrat" or "Overcoming Liberalism".Basically they only serve to stoke the ego of the poster, and provoke the ego of the reader.Disagreement and opposite points of view are neccessary parts of any society. Better to accept and appreciate the fact, rather than sling the dung around.Something to think about.

Letum · 09-03-08, 05:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by antikristuseke

Oh look, a pathetic atempt at humour and satire. *golfclap*

I suppose it is humor...in a way.

There is no punchline or anything.
It seams to be more about reaffirming the beliefs of it's target audience (i.e. not Liberals).

So I suppose the humor is: "haha, this is a list of things I agree with, thus reaffirming
attachment to a shared political ideology and giving me a smug sense of superiority".

*edit*
Yup, this is down there "25 Ways to Be a Good Republican" etc.

sunvalleyslim · 09-03-08, 05:53 PM

Great Subman1..................I loved it.........

Enigma · 09-03-08, 07:04 PM

Quote:

Making New GT Posts: A 2-Step Program
Inspired by SUBMAN

1. Ctr+C

2. Ctr+V

:rotfl:

That's brilliant.

fatty · 09-04-08, 04:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Letum

Making New GT Posts: A 2-Step Program
Inspired by SUBMAN

1. Ctr+C

2. Ctr+V

Ok, I laughed out loud.

SS107.9MHz · 09-04-08, 08:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SUBMAN1

Overcoming Liberalism: A 12-Step Program
Written by Jeremy Robb

Step 3: Love America.
This may be the most difficult step for those of you who are hippies and peaceniks. Admitting that the country you hate actually stands as a beacon to defend freedom throughout the world can make some of you physically ill. You might want to make a visit to a military cemetery to better understand that these men and women gave their lives so that you could spew hatred. Otherwise, you would currently be living in a police state that would never let you wear that nasty patchouli oil, let alone speak out against your government.

----------------------------

Until the 1950's that is...

Quote:

Originally Posted by SUBMAN1

Overcoming Liberalism: A 12-Step Program
Written by Jeremy Robb

Step 11: Stop re-writing political history.
It’s now time to admit that Bill Clinton is a lying-cheating-sexist-racist-rapist jackass, Hillary Clinton is one of the worst role models for women in this country, Al Gore really did lose the 2000 election by every vote tabulation you attempt, Ronald Reagan ended the Cold War and didn’t create the homeless problem, John McCain is not a typical Republican, and Jimmy Carter is a nice man but has one of the worst presidential records of anyone in history.

----------------------------
**If your efforts fail by Step 12, return to Step 1............If they fail a second time, give up. NOT EVERYONE CAN BE CURED!!**

And so Bush is a good president cuz he didn't inhale, stuffed an intern with a cigar... instead he's an alcoholic who escaped real military service thanks to his father and made a mess out of american economics and external politics...

I'd sooner believe the earth is flat:hmm:

Platapus · 09-04-08, 01:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SS107.9Mhz

And so Bush is a good president cuz he didn't inhale, stuffed an intern with a cigar... instead he's an alcoholic who escaped real military service thanks to his father and made a mess out of american economics and external politics...

I'd sooner believe the earth is flat:hmm:

SS107.9, it is inappropriate to introduce facts in these types of threads.

One just nods their head and hope that the thread moves to the dreaded page two quickly.

Rhodes · 09-04-08, 04:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Platapus

Quote:

Originally Posted by SS107.9Mhz

And so Bush is a good president cuz he didn't inhale, stuffed an intern with a cigar... instead he's an alcoholic who escaped real military service thanks to his father and made a mess out of american economics and external politics...

I'd sooner believe the earth is flat:hmm:

SS107.9, it is inappropriate to introduce facts in these types of threads.

One just nods their head and hope that the thread moves to the dreaded page two quickly.

He's young here (only a seaman), still has to learn the ways of the General Topics section!

09-03-08, 04:29 PM	#1
SUBMAN1 Rear Admiral Join Date: Apr 2005 Posts: 11,866 Downloads: 0 Uploads: 0	Overcoming Liberalism: A 12-Step Program *“Liberalism isn’t a political philosophy. Liberalism is a mental disorder.”* - Savage *"Any man under the age of 30 who isn't a Liberal has no heart, and any man over 30 who is a Liberal has no brain."* - Churchill Overcoming Liberalism: A 12-Step Program Written by Jeremy Robb Given the difficulty in bringing Liberals into the light, I thought it might be helpful to provide them with a 12-step program that could make it easier for a successful transition into reality. As Conservatives, we have to remember that we can only be supportive to Liberals in this program. They cannot do it alone, but we also cannot do it for them. The Program Step 1: Admitting that you’re a Liberal. This is the first step for every Liberal on the way to recovery. It is important to understand that you’re not “progressive,” “moderate,” or “enlightened.” You’re a Liberal, and you need to be honest with yourself about that fact. Step 2: Pledge to support your beliefs with facts. Realize that truth is more important than moral superiority and is the only way to come over to reality. You must research beyond propaganda from the Sierra Club, Hillary Clinton, and CNN (the Communist News Network) to understand things as they really exist in the world. You can no longer argue based on “feelings” or emotion. You will actually need to back up your arguments with real information. This is a difficult step, because it means you can’t be lazy any more. Step 3: Love America. This may be the most difficult step for those of you who are hippies and peaceniks. Admitting that the country you hate actually stands as a beacon to defend freedom throughout the world can make some of you physically ill. You might want to make a visit to a military cemetery to better understand that these men and women gave their lives so that you could spew hatred. Otherwise, you would currently be living in a police state that would never let you wear that nasty patchouli oil, let alone speak out against your government. Step 4: Take a college level economics class. I’ve always defined a Socialist as someone who’s never taken an economics class. Most Socialists I’ve spoke with would have a hard time balancing their checkbooks, let alone explaining the simple concept of supply-and-demand. It’s time to flush your complete ignorance of basic economics down the toilet and understand how the world actually functions. This concept will be very important for the next steps that involve Communism, facts about corporations, and the inefficiencies of government. Step 5: Say “no” to Communism and Socialism. While this concept is obvious to most of the free world, it is an important step in your recovery process. If you have difficulty with this step, spend a week living and working in Cuba. Step 6: Corporations are not evil. If you’re reading this article online or in an e-mail, it’s thanks to corporations. If you get some kind of paycheck, you can thank corporations. If you work for a non-profit or the government, you still have to thank corporations. The non-profit sector and the government wouldn’t have any money to pay you without corporations. It is also important that you understand that making a profit doesn’t equate to “greed” or exploitation. Capitalism has created the greatest society in our world’s history. Even Communist countries need corporations to survive, so enjoy a nice, hot cup of reality. Step 7: The government is inefficient. If you are one of those Liberals who believe the government should tax us more in order to take care of society, you need to pay special attention to this step. You need to realize that government bureaucracy will waste most of your tax dollars, while the private sector will put your money to much better use. Even most Democrat politicians understand this to some degree, which is why Hillary’s Socialist healthcare proposal was voted down by a majority of both Democrats and Republicans. Go to your local post office or call the IRS to ask a tax question if you need a reminder about government inefficiency. Step 8: The earth is not your “mother,” and she’s not dying. The time has now come to stop your donations to Greenpeace, The Sierra Club, and every other EnviroNazi organization to which you belong. Face the reality that the earth, society, and our environment are better off today than ever in recorded history and that they are continuing to improve. I realize that many of you tree huggers will have a very difficult time letting go of the Douglas Fir on this one. I would suggest reading The Skeptical Environmentalist by Bjorn Lomborg. Mr. Lomborg is a former member of Greenpeace and is currently a statistics professor at a university in Denmark. He set out to prove the world was in bad shape and ended up surprising himself by proving the exact opposite. Step 9: Stop smoking the wacky tobaccy. Okay, some of you might need to enter another 12-step program to complete this step. Marijuana is distorting your sense of reality, and you need to stop using it. Besides, you’ll save a fortune on snacks. Step 10: Eat a hamburger. If God didn’t intend for us to eat animals, he wouldn’t have made them out of meat. You can put your sprouts and tofu on the hamburger, but get some meat into you. You’ll look and feel better than you ever imagined. You can always remind yourself that Adolf Hitler was a vegetarian to get you through this step. Step 11: Stop re-writing political history. It’s now time to admit that Bill Clinton is a lying-cheating-sexist-racist-rapist jackass, Hillary Clinton is one of the worst role models for women in this country, Al Gore really did lose the 2000 election by every vote tabulation you attempt, Ronald Reagan ended the Cold War and didn’t create the homeless problem, John McCain is not a typical Republican, and Jimmy Carter is a nice man but has one of the worst presidential records of anyone in history. Step 12: Be a missionary. Once you have completed the previous steps to overcoming Liberalism, it’s time for you to share this awakening with others who are not as fortunate. Go out amongst the Liberal sheep and spread the good word of your freedom from the chains of ignorance that once bound you.Congratulations, and welcome to reality. ---------------------------- If your efforts fail by Step 12, return to Step 1............If they fail a second time, give up. NOT EVERYONE CAN BE CURED!! __________________

09-03-08, 04:35 PM	#2
Letum Navy Seal Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: York - UK Posts: 6,079 Downloads: 43 Uploads: 0	Making New GT Posts: A 2-Step Program Inspired by SUBMAN 1. Ctr+C 2. Ctr+V __________________

09-03-08, 04:43 PM	#4
Blacklight Ocean Warrior Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Connecticut Posts: 2,507 Downloads: 145 Uploads: 0	But I WANT to be a Liberal !!!! __________________ Be my friend or be a mushroom cloud. "I am coming at you. You will explode in a couple of minutes !"

09-03-08, 05:53 PM	#7
sunvalleyslim Ace of the Deep Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Los Angeles, Ca Posts: 1,142 Downloads: 267 Uploads: 0	Great Subman1..................I loved it......... __________________ Crew member/ decommission member TM2(SS)(SD) 3/68-7/70 DIESEL BOATS FOREVER USS SEGUNDO (SS398)

09-03-08, 04:39 PM	#3
antikristuseke Silent Hunter Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Estland Posts: 4,330 Downloads: 3 Uploads: 0	Oh look, a pathetic atempt at humour and satire. golfclap

09-03-08, 05:02 PM	#5
Slang Mate Join Date: Oct 2007 Posts: 52 Downloads: 12 Uploads: 0	While usually I stay clear of these discussions, and these boards in general. I'd like to say that this is getting out of hand. Politics really brings out the worst in people.You're not going to win anybody over to your side with any of these type of posts. Whether it be "25 ways to be a good republican", or "How to be a good democrat" or "Overcoming Liberalism".Basically they only serve to stoke the ego of the poster, and provoke the ego of the reader.Disagreement and opposite points of view are neccessary parts of any society. Better to accept and appreciate the fact, rather than sling the dung around.Something to think about.