Simple Home Remedies

geetrue · 06-18-07, 04:27 PM

AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

1. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock,

will prevent you from rolling over and going

back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

2. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives,

then you will be afraid to cough.

3. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by

getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

4. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat

by simply using the sink.

5. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and

bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your

veins. Remember to use a timer.

6. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer

and you will forget about the toothache.

Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are.

You only need two tools:

WD-40 and Duct Tape.

If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40.

If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

Remember:

Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.

If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance.

And finally... be really nice to your family and friends;
you never know when you might need them to empty your bedpan!

Sailor Steve · 06-18-07, 05:17 PM

Okay, those are good!:rotfl:

geetrue · 06-19-07, 12:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by geetrue

AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

Remember:

Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

I liked that one

sunvalleyslim · 06-20-07, 03:34 PM

ahh geetrue, I see your list is relative to your age........hahahaha

06-18-07, 04:27 PM	#1
geetrue Cold War Boomer Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Walla Walla Posts: 2,837 Downloads: 5 Uploads: 0	Simple Home Remedies AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES 1. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button. 2. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough. 3. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away. 4. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink. 5. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer. 6. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget about the toothache. Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are. You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them. Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance. And finally... be really nice to your family and friends; you never know when you might need them to empty your bedpan! __________________ Last edited by geetrue; 06-20-07 at 03:46 PM. Reason: Font and size

06-18-07, 05:17 PM	#2
Sailor Steve Eternal Patrol Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: High in the mountains of Utah Posts: 50,369 Downloads: 745 Uploads: 249	Okay, those are good!:rotfl: __________________ “Never do anything you can't take back.” —Rocky Russo

06-20-07, 03:34 PM	#4
sunvalleyslim Ace of the Deep Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Los Angeles, Ca Posts: 1,142 Downloads: 267 Uploads: 0	ahh geetrue, I see your list is relative to your age........hahahaha __________________ Crew member/ decommission member TM2(SS)(SD) 3/68-7/70 DIESEL BOATS FOREVER USS SEGUNDO (SS398)