Where seaman Parker at?

Come on, guys, let's not wait for patches to remove our Parker.
Model the torpedo sinking truck from pink submarine.
Something.
Anything.
We waited long for this game, and although we deserve a perfect patrol, I need some weirdo on board... I had some:
1. My cook forgot the salt and eggs
2. My navigator plotted course to Alaska....
3. My XO dived the boat with hatches open and crew on the bridge...
4. And last, but not least, i was in the toilet sh***ing when I noticed no paper....
Duh.