The Bilge

[Wolferz]

That's why we keep him topside when leaving foggy 'Frisco Bay. To warn other watercraft of our presence and to wake up everyone in Oakland.
The stench is for the benefit of those who are deaf.

[Aktungbby]

Some one forgot on this occasion; I don't see him on deck

[Wolferz]

Originally Posted by Aktungbby

Some one forgot on this occasion; I don't see him on deck

That's not us.

[Armistead]

Originally Posted by Tango589

One of these days Arimstead's going to follow through on a fart, and I hope to be there to witness this momentous occasion!

I'm not gonna fart until we go out on patrol, come under heavy depth charge attack, almost out of air, CO2 high.....Just as we're about to die and you guys have a few last breathes in ya, I'm gonna let her rip. One last memory of old Arm before you meet your maker....God knows you deserve it!!

[Aktungbby]

As chief of the boat, I protest; your farts are held 'in reserve' for blowing ballast ONLY.

[Armistead]

Originally Posted by Aktungbby

As chief of the boat, I protest; your farts are held 'in reserve' for blowing ballast ONLY.

No, something about the thought of you guys choking on my sweetness as you die would give me great pleasure as I draw my last breath......I honestly expect to see faces turn blue holding breath as people run for the gun locker to put a quick end to it, but I have the key and we all know they only gave us used muskets from the Civil War and the powder is bad....

Course, with Wolferz hiding locked in the head, I may just put crack to hatch opening and give him the full blast and see if he will come out.

[Wolferz]

Give it your best shot...

[Tango589]

Can anyone tell me why I've just seen Fireftr walking round wearing a pair of 'Winnie the Pooh' dungarees and an Australian hat with corks on? Has he been drinking the eye drops again?

[Wolferz]

Originally Posted by Tango589

Can anyone tell me why I've just seen Fireftr walking round wearing a pair of 'Winnie the Pooh' dungarees and an Australian hat with corks on? Has he been drinking the eye drops again?

Just our Rat-tastic Bilge Brew.

[fireftr18]

Originally Posted by Tango589

Can anyone tell me why I've just seen Fireftr walking round wearing a pair of 'Winnie the Pooh' dungarees and an Australian hat with corks on? Has he been drinking the eye drops again?

What's wrong with the way I dress?

[donna52522]

I am not afraid of Armisteads farts..

Running out of electrical tape is what scares me..

[Armistead]

My brother lets the worse farts possible. Those silent ones that would make a maggot gag. Younger days as a teen our family went to a fundy baptist church. Ever so often some youth would fart and cause people to go into laughing fits, not that way with my brother, he let those silent ones knock a buzzard off a crap wagon right during preaching and he could keep a straight face through the entire ordeal. He had a look he gave, our eyes would meet and he'd sort of lift his eyebrow and I knew hell was coming.

Like a rogue wave, you'd watch expression of peoples faces as it traveled, one by one, praying it wouldn't reach you. I would promise God right then to quit masturbating. You can't stop laughing at people, knowing you better stop laughing before it reaches you. I watched the guy next to me turn green and I knew I was next, tried to stop laughing, took a deep breath, but I got a good whiff. Things went black and I got dizzy. I got up, not being rude, headed for the alter. This is typical in a baptist church, anyone gets the urge during preaching can just head on down. Why you never ate lunch to 2PM on Sunday.. Preacher looked at me and said " do you seek salvation?" With tears in my eyes, I replied with a firm "yes i do!".

Next, crippled lady in a wheel chair gets up and opens the window. Preacher thought healed and praised the Lord. A few of my youth friends caught on and to escape, they came to the alter too. Preacher said the spirit was moving, but we knew that it was much more than the spirit that came out of my brothers ass. Several youth on the alter with red faces, tears in their eyes, sure it looked spiritual. Old Ms Johnson fell over when it hit her, preacher thought spirit slayed her, but fart killed her outright. Later at her funeral 5 more was saved, so he said it was worth it.

With all the fuss on our side the aisle, those on the other side weren't to be outdone. We had one old fat black lady in the church, one black was allowed as long as they were old. She was like a spiritual lady, people listened to her. When the fart hit her, she hollered out "da angels done broke the 7th seal, judgement day is here!" so that really got people stirred up and revival broke out.

The choir hit the old gospel, "softly and tenderly" but there was nothing soft or tender about my brothers farts, yet he still sit there stone cold as the entire church was headed for the alter. Saw the church mouse heading out the back. The entire youth group ....rededicated and several people got saved. The Lord does work in mysterious ways!

[Aktungbby]

At least you can use your newly acquired Polident grip to wear the chocolate Pasties you got last Valentine' s Day

Originally Posted by Aktungbby

No barfin' in your 'Nags' borrowed Victoria's Secret finery; I've no doubt Swamprat won't be able to keep his eyes off you at the event. And no wearin' Bear's dog collar with the filched outfit either when you make an entrance I don't wanna get upstaged. God knows what Donna's gonna be wearin'! We may have to rename our sub the SS Priscilla...

Originally Posted by donna52522

I am not afraid of Armisteads farts..

Running out of electrical tape is what scares me..

Electric tape pasties!!! and the abominable Threat from Armistead neutralized all in one fell swoop!....Sartorial Splendor in the BILGE BBY!That's IT party's ON!

[Jimbuna]

Originally Posted by Armistead

My brother lets the worse farts possible. Those silent ones that would make a maggot gag. Younger days as a teen our family went to a fundy baptist church. Ever so often some youth would fart and cause people to go into laughing fits, not that way with my brother, he let those silent ones knock a buzzard off a crap wagon right during preaching and he could keep a straight face through the entire ordeal. He had a look he gave, our eyes would meet and he'd sort of lift his eyebrow and I knew hell was coming.

Like a rogue wave, you'd watch expression of peoples faces as it traveled, one by one, praying it wouldn't reach you. I would promise right then to quit masturbating. You can't stop laughing at people, knowing you better stop laughing before it reach you. I watch the guy next to me turn green and I knew I was next, tried to stop laughing, take a deep breath, but I got a good whiff. Things went black and I got dizzy. I got up, not being rude headed for the alter. This is typical in a baptist church, anyone get the urge during preaching can just head on down. Why you never ate lunch to 2PM on Sunday.. Preacher looked at me and said " do you seek salvation?" and I replied with a firm "yes i do" hoping to get some fresh air as several said "amen".

Next, crippled lady in a wheel chair gets up and opens the window. Preacher thought healed and praised the Lord. A few of my youth friends caught on and to escape, they came to the alter too. Preacher said the spirit was moving, but we knew it was much more than the spirit. Several youth on the alter with red faces, tears in their eyes, sure it looked spiritual. Old Ms Johnson fell over when it hit her, preacher thought spirit slayed her, but fart killed her outright. Later at her funeral 5 more was saved, so he said it was worth it.

With all the fuss on our side the aisle, those on the other side weren't to be outdone. We had one old fat black lady in the church, one was allowed. She was like a spiritual lady, people listened to her. When the fart hit her, she hollered out "da angels done broke the 7th seal, judgement day is here!" so that really got people stirred up.

The choir hit the old gospel, "softly and tenderly" but there was nothing soft or tender what came out my brothers butt, yet, he still sit there stone cold as the entire church was headed for the alter, most wanting air. Saw the church mouse heading out the back. The entire youth group ....rededicated and several people got saved. The Lord does work in mysterious ways!

I know I shouldn't

[Wolferz]

Please forgive Armistead. He knows not what he do.
Airs of crepitation and the low rider boustier with strategic electrical tape...

The Bilge got it all bby!

Could somebody please sink this thing before my sides split?