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Old 04-25-08, 02:11 AM   #691
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Granted, but you forgot to bring your glasses so your unable to read it.

I wish I could tell jokes like this one:

A man is walking in London, when it suddenly starts raining so he takes shelter in a peek-a-boo sex shop & pays £50 to get in. He's then confronted by 3 doors.
They read "Blonde", "Brunette" and "Black". He chooses "Blonde", only to be confronted by 3 more doors reading "Small Tits", "Medium Tits" or "Big Tits".
This time he chooses "Big Tits" only to be again confronted with 3 more doors reading "Small Cu*t", "Large Cu*t", "Wet Cu*t".
Somewhat excited now, he chooses "Wet Cu*t", pushes his way through the door, and finds himself back out in the rain.
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Old 04-25-08, 02:13 AM   #692
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Granted, granted but noone laughs.

I wish that I had another full bottle of Penfolds Grange Hermitage.
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Old 04-25-08, 09:09 AM   #693
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Granted, but despite your best efforts, no one could understand what you are trying to say. SubSim would be filled with posts saying how much you love everyone and everything, especially your Penfold bottle.

I wish I could find a good picture of an Luftwaffe uniform jacket that is open for my little project.
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Old 04-25-08, 05:42 PM   #694
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Granted, but you get MOSSAD after you since they start to suspect you as an fanatical member of the ODESSA organization, who's searching for remaining Nazi relics.

I wish I had more vodka this evening...
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Old 04-25-08, 07:11 PM   #695
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Granted but then you can't have any vodka tomorrow cos you drank it all.

I wish I had a few more bricks to build my chimney higher.
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Old 04-26-08, 07:01 AM   #696
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TarJak
Granted but then you can't have any vodka tomorrow cos you drank it all.

I wish I had a few more bricks to build my chimney higher.

Granted, but the Aussie gov't introduces a new green tax based on chimney height.

I wish Pink Floyd would go on tour.
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Old 04-26-08, 10:06 AM   #697
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Granted, but the tour doesn't include a visit to the US, so you don't get to see them.

I wish income tax would be abolished.
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Old 04-26-08, 11:02 AM   #698
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Granted, but everything else gets insanely expensive to compensate.

I wish my car ran on fresh air instead of stupidly expensive petrol.
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Old 04-26-08, 11:35 AM   #699
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Granted, but because of global warming, the engine soon overheats and explodes.

I wish I had a Replicator like the one on DS9 in my house.
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Old 04-26-08, 12:08 PM   #700
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Granted, but the button sticks in and you drown in Newscastle Brown.

I wish it was Friday night again
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Old 04-26-08, 02:34 PM   #701
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Granted but you have to work the weekend.

I wish my isp would provide a reliable service.
 
Old 04-26-08, 02:42 PM   #702
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Granted, but because of the faultless service they provide their charges go up double.

I wish I could afford to retire.
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Old 04-26-08, 06:07 PM   #703
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Granted, but now your missus wants you to work around the house.

I wish I knew the lotto numbers for Tuesday draw today.
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Old 04-26-08, 11:28 PM   #704
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Granted, So does everybody else and you only win 20 cents.

I wish I had a cheeseburger right now.
 
Old 04-27-08, 12:59 AM   #705
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rilder
Granted, So does everybody else and you only win 20 cents.

I wish I had a cheeseburger right now.
Granted, but when you look away Ol' McBee jumps on the table and helps himself to your cheeseburger!

I wish I had someone to play SH4 with tomorrow:hmm:
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