Dear Steve Thread

[Armistead]

Originally Posted by Wolferz

You'll get much better service and a happy ending over at Madame Wu's House of Squeeze and acupuncture parlor. No coupons needed.

The sort you must hang out with to have such a mind.

[Red October1984]

Originally Posted by Armistead

I can pop your back 50 different ways, followed by a hot rock oil massage. Nothing wrong with a lil professional rub down.

As long as it stays professional and doesn't escalate, I'd be fine with that...

But somewhere in my subconscious several red flags went up...

If I actually knew you and trusted you, the situation might be different.

[Armistead]

Originally Posted by Red October1984

As long as it stays professional and doesn't escalate, I'd be fine with that...

But somewhere in my subconscious several red flags went up...

If I actually knew you and trusted you, the situation might be different.

You can trust me..I could teach you Shin Tu Wa, basically 20 movements and positions to pop your own back.

I see a great massage professional, none of that Madaam Wu crap. She works for a Neuro Clinic, but does side work at home, so I go there, cheaper and longer. I do her after she does me, she taught me how.

You don't hear any complaints from Dr. Steve....

[Red October1984]

Originally Posted by Armistead

You can trust me..I could teach you Shin Tu Wa, basically 20 movements and positions to pop your own back.

I see a great massage professional, none of that Madaam Wu crap. She works for a Neuro Clinic, but does side work at home, so I go there, cheaper and longer. I do her after she does me, she taught me how.

You don't here any complaints from Dr. Steve....

Uh....



Uh...



LET'S NOT AND SAY WE DID OKA-

HOWS ABOUT WE DON'T AND SAY WE DIDN'T!

[Sailor Steve]

Originally Posted by Wolferz

You'll get much better service and a happy ending over at Madame Wu's House of Squeeze and acupuncture parlor. No coupons needed.

Next time I see her I'll make sure she sends you a referal fee.

[Sailor Steve]

Originally Posted by Armistead

I can pop your back 50 different ways, followed by a hot rock oil massage. Nothing wrong with a lil professional rub down.

HEY! On your own time! Back to work!

[Sailor Steve]

Originally Posted by Red October1984

As long as it stays professional and doesn't escalate, I'd be fine with that...

But somewhere in my subconscious several red flags went up...

If I actually knew you and trusted you, the situation might be different.

Hey, man, you can trust your old Uncle Armistead. Not one of those charges stuck. Besides, he's a changed man now. Just ask his wife.

Or his dog.

[Sailor Steve]

Originally Posted by Armistead

You don't hear any complaints from Dr. Steve....

That's because I have no idea what you're talking about...

[Sailor Steve]

Originally Posted by Red October1984

In all seriousness, I'll let you in on a little secret. I was never anywhere near professional-level massage therapy, but it's pretty easy to pick up a few techniques here and there.

The secret? Chicks really dig that sort of thing.

[Red October1984]

Originally Posted by Sailor Steve

In all seriousness, I'll let you in on a little secret. I was never anywhere near professional-level massage therapy, but it's pretty easy to pick up a few techniques here and there.

The secret? Chicks really dig that sort of thing.

Ah...is this the Relationship Advice that you never gave me?

I said in the other thread that I need a good laugh.

Got any more relationship advice Doctor Steve?

[Sailor Steve]

Originally Posted by Red October1984

Ah...is this the Relationship Advice that you never gave me?

No, this was spontaneous, and based on the last posts.

I said in the other thread that I need a good laugh.

And I told you to ask questions here. I'm not going to do that in someone else's thread.

Got any more relationship advice Doctor Steve?

No. I don't give advice. I only answer questions.

But I could tell stories that would make you feel like you don't know what suffering is. On the other hand, that's not funny, so I won't here.

[Armistead]

Originally Posted by Sailor Steve

That's because I have no idea what you're talking about...

mums the word...

[Armistead]

Originally Posted by Red October1984

Ah...is this the Relationship Advice that you never gave me?

I said in the other thread that I need a good laugh.

Got any more relationship advice Doctor Steve?

I'll step in, hopefully Steve won't care, as I have much experience with women, thus I basically hate them as much as Steve.

First, they're really is no such thing as love, relationships are primal urges of selfishness. It's most important that you think logically. If you're the type that falls in love at first site, it just shows you are very needy.

Most women want to control or be controlled, so be very careful. Woman pretend to want love, but they have a biological need to be controlled. If you become a panzy, they'll run all over you. Be nice, loving, but when they start treating you like crap, you got to let them know they can be replaced. It really is true, woman want what they can't have...

Make sure the girl you date or love had a great relationship with her father, if not......run. If she is on Prozac......run.

My best advice, stay single and have fun. If you must marry, marry a ugly girl with money, it may be tough when you're young, but it'll pay off in the future when you're old. Most importantly, marry below yourself, never above.

Steve and I are both members of the "He-Man Woman Haters Club", you're welcome to join at our office, just take the oath.

"I, (state name here), a member of good standing of the He-Man Woman-Haters Club, do solemnly swear to be a he-man and hate women and not play with them or touch them unless I have to and especially never fall in love and, if I do, may I die slowly and painfully and suffer for hours or until I scream bloody murder."

[Sailor Steve]

That's...interesting.

[Red October1984]

Originally Posted by Armistead

I'll step in, hopefully Steve won't care, as I have much experience with women, thus I basically hate them as much as Steve.

First, they're really is no such thing as love, relationships are primal urges of selfishness. It's most important that you think logically. If you're the type that falls in love at first site, it just shows you are very needy.

Most women want to control or be controlled, so be very careful. Woman pretend to want love, but they have a biological need to be controlled. If you become a panzy, they'll run all over you. Be nice, loving, but when they start treating you like crap, you got to let them know they can be replaced. It really is true, woman want what they can't have...

Make sure the girl you date or love had a great relationship with her father, if not......run. If she is on Prozac......run.

My best advice, stay single and have fun. If you must marry, marry a ugly girl with money, it may be tough when you're young, but it'll pay off in the future when you're old. Most importantly, marry below yourself, never above.

Steve and I are both members of the "He-Man Woman Haters Club", you're welcome to join at our office, just take the oath.

"I, (state name here), a member of good standing of the He-Man Woman-Haters Club, do solemnly swear to be a he-man and hate women and not play with them or touch them unless I have to and especially never fall in love and, if I do, may I die slowly and painfully and suffer for hours or until I scream bloody murder."

That was intense. Are you sure you aren't a doctor? Doctor Armistead and Doctor Steve could go into a partnership with unlimited power.

It would be awesome. You two should consider it...

Lastly, I hope you weren't serious Armistead...Some of that was scary...