I Hate My Neighbors And I Want Them To Die - Page 4

Hitman · 04-11-09, 11:17 AM

Quote:

I have the upstairs neighbors from Hell. And if I can't keep myself away from sharp objects, they'll be experiencing the real thing in a couple of weeks.

Who are these people, anyway? A bunch of shrieking, obnoxious, hateful, despicable white trash who do nothing but exhale carbon dioxide. Their dogs crap in our yard (can't wait to have a malaria outbreak right outside my window this summer!) and bark hysterically at everything, they rearrange furniture at one in the morning, and they have horrendous screaming fits that go on for half an hour (how many times can one person tell another to F&^k themselves in one minute). They're all so freakin' nuts that none of them have jobs and are currently living off welfare, but obviously aren't getting enough of since they're always bellowing at each about paying the rent, live off of McDonalds, don't bathe, and won't turn off their goddamned ghetto blaster until 3 in the morning. Yes, I'm trying to sleep, and all I can hear is DUM DUM DUM DUM DUM DUM for hours on end while I'm trying to recuperate and hold a paying job. Yeah, these folks are DUM all right! Not to mention that they're all so grotesquely overweight that every step they take sounds like a hydraulic ram going off.

Not only are they "DUM," but they're completely oblivious to the fact the ENTIRE neighborhood can hear them when their windows are open. My landlord has been trying to evict them, but to no avail. It's not like they've ever experienced even the smallest bit of joy in their lives, anyway.

Are you sure you are not livig in Spain?

A big part of the spanish population more or less fits that description

Ssgt_Wolverine · 04-11-09, 12:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Subnuts

Hey, anybody mind if I vent a little?

I have the upstairs neighbors from Hell. And if I can't keep myself away from sharp objects, they'll be experiencing the real thing in a couple of weeks.

Who are these people, anyway? A bunch of shrieking, obnoxious, hateful, despicable white trash who do nothing but exhale carbon dioxide. Their dogs crap in our yard (can't wait to have a malaria outbreak right outside my window this summer!) and bark hysterically at everything, they rearrange furniture at one in the morning, and they have horrendous screaming fits that go on for half an hour (how many times can one person tell another to F&^k themselves in one minute). They're all so freakin' nuts that none of them have jobs and are currently living off welfare, but obviously aren't getting enough of since they're always bellowing at each about paying the rent, live off of McDonalds, don't bathe, and won't turn off their goddamned ghetto blaster until 3 in the morning. Yes, I'm trying to sleep, and all I can hear is DUM DUM DUM DUM DUM DUM for hours on end while I'm trying to recuperate and hold a paying job. Yeah, these folks are DUM all right! Not to mention that they're all so grotesquely overweight that every step they take sounds like a hydraulic ram going off.

Not only are they "DUM," but they're completely oblivious to the fact the ENTIRE neighborhood can hear them when their windows are open. My landlord has been trying to evict them, but to no avail. I was so royally pissed off at them last night that at one point I considered coating one of the steps leading to their apartment with cooking oil, or slashing one of their tires, or just SOMETHING to cause grievious physical harm to one of them! I know I'm supposed to take sympathy on these folks because they're from Michigan, which has been hard hit recently, and one of the sons is autistic. Whatever - they can all die in a fire for all I care. It's not like they've ever experienced even the smallest bit of joy in their lives, anyway.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to take some tranquilizers.

Racism here not nice keep that for you man: despicable white trash who do nothing but exhale carbon dioxide

Freiwillige · 04-11-09, 02:15 PM

Thats not racism since he is not targeting a race but targeting a certain cultural aspect of a race. White trash is a stereotype of lower class european decendants who usually but not always partake in one of the following.

Illegal drug usage, Crime, Gang activity, Rejection of ones European culture for some third world cultural influance. Lack of respect for authority figures.

I say lets stereotype, It saves time and is usually correct!

Platapus · 04-14-09, 01:13 PM

A nice story of revenge.

When I was living in Utah I had these most inconsiderate neighbours. Music blasting at all hours. When I asked them to turn it down, they replied that it was their apartment and they had a right to do what they wanted. Great

Most of the time they just ignored my knocking.

My evil brain started assimilating pieces of data.

1. My inconsiderate neighbours loved football and often invited their friends over to watch football games -- rather loudly I might add

2. I lived in an old house that was divided up into apartments. My "apartment" was actually a hallway under the staircase. So my apartment was long and narrow (hey it cost only $140.00 per month). The wiring in the house was not all that great

3. Super Bowl in 1983 was between two teams I did not care for.

hmmmm how can I make these data work for me.

Seconds before the kick-off, I decided to vacuum my apartment, thereby scrambling the TV reception in the building. Despite the fact that my apartment probably was under 200 Sq Feet, you know, it took me about 3 hours to vacuum my apartment. I am a very careful cleaner.

I think I heard banging and yelling at my front door, but with the vacuum cleaner making all that noise I did not notice.

One has a responsibility to keep one's apartment clean and that includes the carpet.

This did not alter the behavour of my neighbours but I got some satisfaction.....out of having a very clean carpet.

HunterICX · 04-14-09, 05:22 PM

way to go Platapus, I can imagine them pointing at the screen and going nuts

HunterICX

FIREWALL · 04-14-09, 05:26 PM

Sub standard wireing huh ? Wait till important play in game and turn on multiple microwave ovens with all lights and appliances going.

Platapus · 04-14-09, 05:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HunterICX

way to go Platapus, I can imagine them pointing at the screen and going nuts

HunterICX

Gosh I hope I did not spoil their TV entertainment, I was *just* cleaning up my apartment. I would never want to be inconsiderate to my inconsiderate neighbours. Revenge is a childish and immature act. And would be wrong.

<innocent look>

snicker

Kapitan_Phillips · 04-14-09, 07:46 PM

There is this house at the end of my street with a crummy dog kennel at the end of it; like a shack. Anyway this jerk keeps about 6 dogs in there, 24/7.

So anyway I usually sleep with the window open (I much prefer the room being cold) and I was merrily away dreaming about cakes and whatnot, when I was awoken from my slumber by incessant barking and whining.

"Not really a problem" I thought "They'll shut up in a minute".

Half an hour later, bark bark bark whine bark.

"

"

bark bark bark whine bark

So I leaned out of the window and bellowed at the top of my voice "SHUT UP!!" which earned me about a 20 minute reprieve, but again, bark bark bark whine bark

So up I get, I throw on the clothes nearest me, a pair of jeans and an old shirt. On go my shoes and I stomp out of the front door in the bitter cold and right down to this assclown's house.

<KNOCK KNOCK>

Nothing.

<KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK>

The door opens to reveal a middle aged scruffy looking git who was evidently blissfully unaware of the infuriating cacophany outside.

"Are those your dogs?"
"Yeah."
"They've been barking and whining constantly for just over an hour. Cant you hear them?"
"Oh have they?" he replied flippantly, giving me a look like he had just had an especially large pineapple forceably inserted into his rectum.
"Yes. How you havent heard them is beyond my comprehension at this hour, but rest assured that nobody on this street appreciates that <beep>ing noise, and your failure to do anything about it"

He then started to close the door, flipping me off in the process. I wrapped up by saying

"I have an air rifle in my attic, and if I get kept awake for an hour again, I'll go get it. And I wont be shooting the <bleep>ing dogs."

Anyway, long story short; people can be real ignorant jerks.

Zachstar · 04-14-09, 08:06 PM

Strange I have to admit Subman is right but he is in this case.

You HAVE to call the police. If you don't because you smoke pot or something then don't bellyache here about it.

And frankly the talk of violence here is WAY out of line. Are you ****ing insane folks? Do you WANT the FBI knocking on Neals door?

Get the police involved. Get them to take reports and call them each and every time they violate local and state law. Eventually they will be arrested.

antikristuseke · 04-14-09, 09:47 PM

Speaking of electrics and revenge.
I had ******* neighbours for a few months living bellow me, by that I mean even worse than me, if any of you can belive that. Anyway, long story short they had loud parties at random days while i was constantly working overtime and thus apreaciated sleep more than usual, had my work schedule been easier I probably wouldnt have minded. am quite a sound sleeper. After repeated atempts at reasoning with these dillweeds had failed I decided to **** with them a bit. Having one of the two keys needed to access the stairwell fuse boxes and a large suply of burned through 16amp fuses all 3 of theirs got inexplicably changed for burn out ones when they were away from their apartment. When they got back with another crowd of *****s wanting to party they found the apartment had no power so called an electrician. When that guy arrived, I had inexplicably lost the key to the fuse box and the only locksmith in town was at my place having a beer with me so didnt want to work that evening.

But being the complete dick that I am, it did not end there, for some reason, their fuses kept burning out on a regular basis after that, one of the three every other day or so. For two weeks. After that people did not want to party there all that much.

Task Force · 04-14-09, 09:54 PM

:rotfl:Apparently they needed electricity to party.:rotfl:

Blacklight · 04-14-09, 10:06 PM

Quote:

Btw, I noticed you're both from Connecticut, neigbours by any chance?

I dunno. I live in Farmington now, but that evil apartment was in Meriden.

Jimbuna · 04-15-09, 12:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kapitan_Phillips

There is this house at the end of my street with a crummy dog kennel at the end of it; like a shack. Anyway this jerk keeps about 6 dogs in there, 24/7.

So anyway I usually sleep with the window open (I much prefer the room being cold) and I was merrily away dreaming about cakes and whatnot, when I was awoken from my slumber by incessant barking and whining.

"Not really a problem" I thought "They'll shut up in a minute".

Half an hour later, bark bark bark whine bark.

"

"

bark bark bark whine bark

So I leaned out of the window and bellowed at the top of my voice "SHUT UP!!" which earned me about a 20 minute reprieve, but again, bark bark bark whine bark

So up I get, I throw on the clothes nearest me, a pair of jeans and an old shirt. On go my shoes and I stomp out of the front door in the bitter cold and right down to this assclown's house.

<KNOCK KNOCK>

Nothing.

<KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK>

The door opens to reveal a middle aged scruffy looking git who was evidently blissfully unaware of the infuriating cacophany outside.

"Are those your dogs?"
"Yeah."
"They've been barking and whining constantly for just over an hour. Cant you hear them?"
"Oh have they?" he replied flippantly, giving me a look like he had just had an especially large pineapple forceably inserted into his rectum.
"Yes. How you havent heard them is beyond my comprehension at this hour, but rest assured that nobody on this street appreciates that <beep>ing noise, and your failure to do anything about it"

He then started to close the door, flipping me off in the process. I wrapped up by saying

"I have an air rifle in my attic, and if I get kept awake for an hour again, I'll go get it. And I wont be shooting the <bleep>ing dogs."

Anyway, long story short; people can be real ignorant jerks.

An hour later you are woken from a sound sleep by the noise of a forcible entry as your front door is literally turned into a few useless planks then the noise of half a dozen pairs of heavy boots racing up your stairs.

Before you can reach for your bedside light you are faced with the sight of your bedroom door coming crashing in nearly landing on top of you whilst lying in your bed.

Before your eyes can fully focus and accustom you with your immediate surroundings you are blinded by flashlight beams that have been intentionally pointed at your eyes.

Your next recollection is the feel of a cold metal object being pressed against your head and a loud voice shouting "Armed Police.......lie still and do not move".

You are then flipped over on your stomach and are totally helpless as a knee is forced against the back of your neck whilst at the same time you feel a heavy body lying across your legs and both of your arms are pulled tightly up your back and the icy feel of handcuffs caress your wrists.

An hour or so later at the local nick you are sitting in an interview room in only your underwear (or whatever you may or may not wear in bed) having learnt the salutary lesson of "never give an idiot the opportunity and reason to ring the Police claiming the guy at number whatever is claiming he has a firearm and is threatening to shoot me with it".

Blacklight · 04-15-09, 03:18 PM

The Adventures of Kapitan Phillips by Infocom(tm)
*************************************

You are almost asleep when you hear it. The insessant barking....barking...barking...

Dogs: "Bark...bark...whine..bark !!"

>Wait for dogs to stop barking.

A half hour later, the barking continues.

Dogs: "Bark...bark...whine..bark !!"

>Pull pillow over my head.

You pull the pillow over your head but the barking still penetrates.

Dogs: "Bark...bark...whine..bark !!"

>Yell for the dogs to shut up.

You yell but the window is closed making your voice only audible within the confines of your room.

Dogs: "Bark...bark...whine..bark !!"

>Open window

You can't reach the window from the bed

Dogs: "Bark...bark...whine..bark !!"

>Get out of bed

It's difficult but you struggle out of your nice comfy bed. The floor dips and sways a little. You are still feeling the leftovers of that party last night.

Dogs: "Bark...bark...whine..bark !!"

>Open window

The window is now open.

Dogs: "BARK...BARK...WHINE..BARK !!"

>Yell "SHUT UP !!!" at the dogs.

Dogs: "..."

>Go back to bed.

You lay in the bed and almost instantly, the dogs start barking again.

Dogs: "BARK...BARK...WHINE..BARK !!"

>Get out of bed

It's difficult but you struggle out of your nice comfy bed. The floor dips and sways a little. You are still feeling the leftovers of that party last night. You now have a raging headache.

Dogs: "BARK...BARK...WHINE..BARK !!"

>go south.

You are now in your living room. It is covered in beer cans and pizza boxes. There is a pizza slice stuck to the cieling. Exits: South, North

Dogs: "BARK...BARK...WHINE..BARK !!"

>Go south

You are now in the street. Exits: South, North
Dogs: "BARK...BARK...WHINE..BARK !!"

>Go South

You are on the doorstep of your neighbor who owns the dogs.

Dogs: "BARK...BARK...WHINE..BARK !!"

> knock on door

There is no answer.

Dogs: "BARK...BARK...WHINE..BARK !!"

>Kick door

The door opens to reveal a middle aged scruffy looking git who was evidently blissfully unaware of the infuriating cacophany outside.

Dogs: "BARK...BARK...WHINE..BARK !!"

>Talk to git about the dogs

You: "Are those your dogs?"
The git: "Yeah."
You: "They've been barking and whining constantly for just over an hour. Cant you hear them?"
The git: "Oh have they?"
You: "Yes. How you havent heard them is beyond my comprehension at this hour, but rest assured that nobody on this street appreciates that <beep>ing noise, and your failure to do anything about it"

The git flips you off and slams the door in your face.

Dogs: "BARK...BARK...WHINE..BARK !!"

>Threaten to get my gun

You: "I have an air rifle in my attic, and if I get kept awake for an hour again, I'll go get it. And I wont be shooting the <bleep>ing dogs."

>Go North

You are on the street in front of your house: Exits: North, South

>Go North

You are now in your living room. It is covered in beer cans and pizza boxes. There is a pizza slice stuck to the cieling. Exits: South, North

>Go North

You are in your bedroom

>Go to bed

An hour later you are woken from a sound sleep by the noise of a forcible entry as your front door is literally turned into a few useless planks then the noise of half a dozen pairs of heavy boots racing up your stairs.

Before you can reach for your bedside light you are faced with the sight of your bedroom door coming crashing in nearly landing on top of you whilst lying in your bed.

>Scream

Before your eyes can fully focus and accustom you with your immediate surroundings you are blinded by flashlight beams that have been intentionally pointed at your eyes.

Your next recollection is the feel of a cold metal object being pressed against your head and a loud voice shouting "Armed Police.......lie still and do not move".

>Scream

You are flipped over on your stomach and are totally helpless as a knee is forced against the back of your neck whilst at the same time you feel a heavy body lying across your legs and both of your arms are pulled tightly up your back and the icy feel of handcuffs caress your wrists.

>Scream

An hour or so later at the local nick you are sitting in an interview room in only your underwear (or whatever you may or may not wear in bed) having learnt the salutary lesson of "never give an idiot the opportunity and reason to ring the Police claiming the guy at number whatever is claiming he has a firearm and is threatening to shoot me with it".

Dogs: "BARK...BARK...WHINE..BARK !!"

>......

04-14-09, 01:13 PM	#49
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 19,384 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	A nice story of revenge. When I was living in Utah I had these most inconsiderate neighbours. Music blasting at all hours. When I asked them to turn it down, they replied that it was their apartment and they had a right to do what they wanted. Great Most of the time they just ignored my knocking. My evil brain started assimilating pieces of data. 1. My inconsiderate neighbours loved football and often invited their friends over to watch football games -- rather loudly I might add 2. I lived in an old house that was divided up into apartments. My "apartment" was actually a hallway under the staircase. So my apartment was long and narrow (hey it cost only $140.00 per month). The wiring in the house was not all that great 3. Super Bowl in 1983 was between two teams I did not care for. hmmmm how can I make these data work for me. Seconds before the kick-off, I decided to vacuum my apartment, thereby scrambling the TV reception in the building. Despite the fact that my apartment probably was under 200 Sq Feet, you know, it took me about 3 hours to vacuum my apartment. I am a very careful cleaner. I think I heard banging and yelling at my front door, but with the vacuum cleaner making all that noise I did not notice. One has a responsibility to keep one's apartment clean and that includes the carpet. This did not alter the behavour of my neighbours but I got some satisfaction.....out of having a very clean carpet. __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

04-14-09, 05:22 PM	#50
HunterICX Rear Admiral Join Date: May 2006 Location: Malaga, España Posts: 10,750 Downloads: 8 Uploads: 0	way to go Platapus, I can imagine them pointing at the screen and going nuts HunterICX __________________

04-14-09, 05:26 PM	#51
FIREWALL Eternal Patrol Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: CATALINA IS. SO . CAL USA Posts: 10,108 Downloads: 511 Uploads: 0	Sub standard wireing huh ? Wait till important play in game and turn on multiple microwave ovens with all lights and appliances going. __________________ RIP FIREWALL I Play GWX. Silent Hunter Who ???

04-14-09, 07:46 PM	#53
Kapitan_Phillips Silent Hunter Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Swansea Posts: 3,903 Downloads: 204 Uploads: 0	There is this house at the end of my street with a crummy dog kennel at the end of it; like a shack. Anyway this jerk keeps about 6 dogs in there, 24/7. So anyway I usually sleep with the window open (I much prefer the room being cold) and I was merrily away dreaming about cakes and whatnot, when I was awoken from my slumber by incessant barking and whining. "Not really a problem" I thought "They'll shut up in a minute". Half an hour later, bark bark bark whine bark. "" bark bark bark whine bark So I leaned out of the window and bellowed at the top of my voice "SHUT UP!!" which earned me about a 20 minute reprieve, but again, bark bark bark whine bark So up I get, I throw on the clothes nearest me, a pair of jeans and an old shirt. On go my shoes and I stomp out of the front door in the bitter cold and right down to this assclown's house. <KNOCK KNOCK> Nothing. <KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK> The door opens to reveal a middle aged scruffy looking git who was evidently blissfully unaware of the infuriating cacophany outside. "Are those your dogs?" "Yeah." "They've been barking and whining constantly for just over an hour. Cant you hear them?" "Oh have they?" he replied flippantly, giving me a look like he had just had an especially large pineapple forceably inserted into his rectum. "Yes. How you havent heard them is beyond my comprehension at this hour, but rest assured that nobody on this street appreciates that <beep>ing noise, and your failure to do anything about it" He then started to close the door, flipping me off in the process. I wrapped up by saying "I have an air rifle in my attic, and if I get kept awake for an hour again, I'll go get it. And I wont be shooting the <bleep>ing dogs." Anyway, long story short; people can be real ignorant jerks. __________________ Well, here's another nice mess you've gotten me into.

04-14-09, 08:06 PM	#54
Zachstar Sea Lord Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Shreveport, Louisiana Posts: 1,956 Downloads: 13 Uploads: 0	Strange I have to admit Subman is right but he is in this case. You HAVE to call the police. If you don't because you smoke pot or something then don't bellyache here about it. And frankly the talk of violence here is WAY out of line. Are you ****ing insane folks? Do you WANT the FBI knocking on Neals door? Get the police involved. Get them to take reports and call them each and every time they violate local and state law. Eventually they will be arrested. __________________

04-11-09, 02:15 PM	#48
Freiwillige The Old Man Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Phx. Az Posts: 1,458 Downloads: 24 Uploads: 0	Thats not racism since he is not targeting a race but targeting a certain cultural aspect of a race. White trash is a stereotype of lower class european decendants who usually but not always partake in one of the following. Illegal drug usage, Crime, Gang activity, Rejection of ones European culture for some third world cultural influance. Lack of respect for authority figures. I say lets stereotype, It saves time and is usually correct!

04-14-09, 09:47 PM	#55
antikristuseke Silent Hunter Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Estland Posts: 4,330 Downloads: 3 Uploads: 0	Speaking of electrics and revenge. I had ***** neighbours for a few months living bellow me, by that I mean even worse than me, if any of you can belive that. Anyway, long story short they had loud parties at random days while i was constantly working overtime and thus apreaciated sleep more than usual, had my work schedule been easier I probably wouldnt have minded. am quite a sound sleeper. After repeated atempts at reasoning with these dillweeds had failed I decided to with them a bit. Having one of the two keys needed to access the stairwell fuse boxes and a large suply of burned through 16amp fuses all 3 of theirs got inexplicably changed for burn out ones when they were away from their apartment. When they got back with another crowd of ***s wanting to party they found the apartment had no power so called an electrician. When that guy arrived, I had inexplicably lost the key to the fuse box and the only locksmith in town was at my place having a beer with me so didnt want to work that evening. But being the complete dick that I am, it did not end there, for some reason, their fuses kept burning out on a regular basis after that, one of the three every other day or so. For two weeks. After that people did not want to party there all that much.

04-14-09, 09:54 PM	#56
Task Force Rear Admiral Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: SPACE!!!! Posts: 10,142 Downloads: 85 Uploads: 0	:rotfl:Apparently they needed electricity to party.:rotfl: __________________ Task Force industries "Taking control of the world, one mind at a time"

04-15-09, 03:18 PM	#59
Blacklight Ocean Warrior Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Connecticut Posts: 2,507 Downloads: 145 Uploads: 0	The Adventures of Kapitan Phillips by Infocom(tm) ************************************* You are almost asleep when you hear it. The insessant barking....barking...barking... Dogs: "Bark...bark...whine..bark !!" >Wait for dogs to stop barking. A half hour later, the barking continues. Dogs: "Bark...bark...whine..bark !!" >Pull pillow over my head. You pull the pillow over your head but the barking still penetrates. Dogs: "Bark...bark...whine..bark !!" >Yell for the dogs to shut up. You yell but the window is closed making your voice only audible within the confines of your room. Dogs: "Bark...bark...whine..bark !!" >Open window You can't reach the window from the bed Dogs: "Bark...bark...whine..bark !!" >Get out of bed It's difficult but you struggle out of your nice comfy bed. The floor dips and sways a little. You are still feeling the leftovers of that party last night. Dogs: "Bark...bark...whine..bark !!" >Open window The window is now open. Dogs: "BARK...BARK...WHINE..BARK !!" >Yell "SHUT UP !!!" at the dogs. Dogs: "..." >Go back to bed. You lay in the bed and almost instantly, the dogs start barking again. Dogs: "BARK...BARK...WHINE..BARK !!" >Get out of bed It's difficult but you struggle out of your nice comfy bed. The floor dips and sways a little. You are still feeling the leftovers of that party last night. You now have a raging headache. Dogs: "BARK...BARK...WHINE..BARK !!" >go south. You are now in your living room. It is covered in beer cans and pizza boxes. There is a pizza slice stuck to the cieling. Exits: South, North Dogs: "BARK...BARK...WHINE..BARK !!" >Go south You are now in the street. Exits: South, North Dogs: "BARK...BARK...WHINE..BARK !!" >Go South You are on the doorstep of your neighbor who owns the dogs. Dogs: "BARK...BARK...WHINE..BARK !!" > knock on door There is no answer. Dogs: "BARK...BARK...WHINE..BARK !!" >Kick door The door opens to reveal a middle aged scruffy looking git who was evidently blissfully unaware of the infuriating cacophany outside. Dogs: "BARK...BARK...WHINE..BARK !!" >Talk to git about the dogs You: "Are those your dogs?" The git: "Yeah." You: "They've been barking and whining constantly for just over an hour. Cant you hear them?" The git: "Oh have they?" You: "Yes. How you havent heard them is beyond my comprehension at this hour, but rest assured that nobody on this street appreciates that <beep>ing noise, and your failure to do anything about it" The git flips you off and slams the door in your face. Dogs: "BARK...BARK...WHINE..BARK !!" >Threaten to get my gun You: "I have an air rifle in my attic, and if I get kept awake for an hour again, I'll go get it. And I wont be shooting the <bleep>ing dogs." >Go North You are on the street in front of your house: Exits: North, South >Go North You are now in your living room. It is covered in beer cans and pizza boxes. There is a pizza slice stuck to the cieling. Exits: South, North >Go North You are in your bedroom >Go to bed An hour later you are woken from a sound sleep by the noise of a forcible entry as your front door is literally turned into a few useless planks then the noise of half a dozen pairs of heavy boots racing up your stairs. Before you can reach for your bedside light you are faced with the sight of your bedroom door coming crashing in nearly landing on top of you whilst lying in your bed. >Scream Before your eyes can fully focus and accustom you with your immediate surroundings you are blinded by flashlight beams that have been intentionally pointed at your eyes. Your next recollection is the feel of a cold metal object being pressed against your head and a loud voice shouting "Armed Police.......lie still and do not move". >Scream You are flipped over on your stomach and are totally helpless as a knee is forced against the back of your neck whilst at the same time you feel a heavy body lying across your legs and both of your arms are pulled tightly up your back and the icy feel of handcuffs caress your wrists. >Scream An hour or so later at the local nick you are sitting in an interview room in only your underwear (or whatever you may or may not wear in bed) having learnt the salutary lesson of "never give an idiot the opportunity and reason to ring the Police claiming the guy at number whatever is claiming he has a firearm and is threatening to shoot me with it". Dogs: "BARK...BARK...WHINE..BARK !!" >...... __________________ Be my friend or be a mushroom cloud. "I am coming at you. You will explode in a couple of minutes !"