For all us married men... - Page 3

Armistead · 10-13-13, 02:34 PM

The preacher gives an alter call, calling for lost souls to come get saved. An older woman comes down. The pastor looks at her husband

"Don't you want to spend eternity walking streets of gold, never to be sick again?"

The old man replied

"not now"

Jimbuna · 10-13-13, 02:53 PM

The secret to a happy marriage:

Tools, Internet options, Clear history, Delete files, Delete cookies.

Armistead · 10-14-13, 11:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jimbuna

The secret to a happy marriage:

Tools, Internet options, Clear history, Delete files, Delete cookies.

Good advice! I hate how google pops up the title of recent sites visited by typing one letter...

Wolferz · 10-15-13, 07:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jimbuna

The secret to a happy marriage:

Tools, Internet options, Clear history, Delete files, Delete cookies.

Two words... Password Protection

And Yes dear.

Jimbuna · 10-15-13, 11:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Armistead

Good advice! I hate how google pops up the title of recent sites visited by typing one letter...

Go here and all the auto options should be off:

https://www.google.com/webhp?complete=0&hl=en

soopaman2 · 10-15-13, 12:35 PM

Marraige is the ability to ignore and refrain from making fun of the vile things they do to the toilet.

My old lady took a bean and taco dump, that 5 fat guys and a plate of jalepeno peppers could not reproduce.

She's a skinny girl, it was disturbing.

I am a bad husband. Her colon is worse!

(I am gonna eat cabbage, and give her a dutch oven, for payback and fun)

Armistead · 10-15-13, 01:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aktungbby

And a closing argument when the 'nag'(thanks Armistead) won't relent" I'll do until MR WONDERFUL comes along"...unfortunately he never does.

(mon ami-just put the rope in my hand...I'll pull it myself!)

could I have a clean basket though?!

Don't give up, but leave AVGWarhawk alone.....

AVGWarhawk · 10-15-13, 03:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jimbuna

The secret to a happy marriage:

Tools, Internet options, Clear history, Delete files, Delete cookies.

You sound like a professional.

AVGWarhawk · 10-15-13, 03:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Armistead

Don't give up, but leave AVGWarhawk alone.....

Yes, I'm spoken for.

Platapus · 10-15-13, 06:16 PM

Marriage is proof that a man and a woman can live together and not have sex.

Armistead · 10-15-13, 09:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aktungbby

Damned with faint praise perhaps?

He looks good in a wig and already has the butt of a girl....Plus he doesn't mind playing Johnny Bench..

Wolferz · 10-16-13, 06:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AVGWarhawk

Yes, I'm spoken for.

Does she always speak for you?

Wolferz · 10-16-13, 06:29 AM

I'm not married anymore thanks to a Bullitt County judge.
I think a bullet would've been cheaper. Though it couldn't be described as a crime of passion, they would still lock me up.

Apologies your honor. My survival instinct got the better of me.

Same old same old

Armistead · 10-16-13, 09:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wolferz

I'm not married anymore thanks to a Bullitt County judge.
I think a bullet would've been cheaper. Though it couldn't be described as a crime of passion, they would still lock me up.

Apologies your honor. My survival instinct got the better of me.

Same old same old

I hope you wait to at least 75 before you consider marriage again.

Armistead · 10-16-13, 09:57 AM

Guy goes to a doctor for a prostate exam. Doctor says "ok Mr. jones, everything seems to be in order". Patient says to Doctor "Doctor, can you write a note to my wife and tell her that my head is not up there"

10-13-13, 02:34 PM	#31
Armistead Rear Admiral Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: on the Dan Posts: 10,880 Downloads: 364 Uploads: 0	The preacher gives an alter call, calling for lost souls to come get saved. An older woman comes down. The pastor looks at her husband "Don't you want to spend eternity walking streets of gold, never to be sick again?" The old man replied "not now" __________________ You see my dog don't like people laughing. He gets the crazy idea you're laughing at him. Now if you apologize like I know you're going to, I might convince him that you really didn't mean it.

10-13-13, 02:53 PM	#32
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 190,539 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	The secret to a happy marriage: Tools, Internet options, Clear history, Delete files, Delete cookies. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

10-15-13, 12:35 PM	#36
soopaman2 Der Alte Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: New Jersey, USA Posts: 3,316 Downloads: 61 Uploads: 0	Marraige is the ability to ignore and refrain from making fun of the vile things they do to the toilet. My old lady took a bean and taco dump, that 5 fat guys and a plate of jalepeno peppers could not reproduce. She's a skinny girl, it was disturbing. I am a bad husband. Her colon is worse! (I am gonna eat cabbage, and give her a dutch oven, for payback and fun) __________________ If Hitler invaded Hell I would make at least a favourable reference to the devil in the House of Commons. -Winston Churchill- The most fascinating man in the world.

10-15-13, 06:16 PM	#40
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 19,365 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	Marriage is proof that a man and a woman can live together and not have sex. __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

10-16-13, 06:29 AM	#43
Wolferz Navy Seal Join Date: May 2007 Location: On a mighty quest for the Stick of Truth Posts: 5,963 Downloads: 52 Uploads: 0	I'm not married anymore thanks to a Bullitt County judge. I think a bullet would've been cheaper. Though it couldn't be described as a crime of passion, they would still lock me up. Apologies your honor. My survival instinct got the better of me. Same old same old __________________ Tomorrow never comes

10-16-13, 09:57 AM	#45
Armistead Rear Admiral Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: on the Dan Posts: 10,880 Downloads: 364 Uploads: 0	Guy goes to a doctor for a prostate exam. Doctor says "ok Mr. jones, everything seems to be in order". Patient says to Doctor "Doctor, can you write a note to my wife and tell her that my head is not up there" __________________ You see my dog don't like people laughing. He gets the crazy idea you're laughing at him. Now if you apologize like I know you're going to, I might convince him that you really didn't mean it.