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Old 10-02-08, 06:58 AM   #3406
TarJak
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Granted, the piglike noises you make remind some good ol boys of a scene from Deliverance instead and you stay awake all night.

I wish I could find my passport
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Old 10-02-08, 07:03 AM   #3407
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Granted, finding it is easy, but getting it from the Maw of Infinite Horrors is a different story

I wish I wrote faster than whoever already posted before me

EDIT: Uh...

EDIT 2: Does anyone find this page strangely different than it used to be a couple of hours ago?
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Old 10-02-08, 09:28 AM   #3408
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Granted, but you type so fast that all of your writing reads as gibberish and nobody can understand you.

I wish that I had seen this strangely different page from a couple of hours ago.
 
Old 10-02-08, 09:30 AM   #3409
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Granted, you did, can't you remember your last wish was at the top of this page, not at the bottom of the last page?

I wish I knew who's responsible for this obstruction of justice
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Old 10-02-08, 10:27 AM   #3410
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Granted, it is you....now move along elsewhere.

I wish curiosity hadn't killed the cat.
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Old 10-02-08, 11:52 AM   #3411
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Granted, it didn't - the investigators have finally reported out and their findings are that you did. You are put away in an old French dungeon where you encounter TJ and learn the real meaning behind the word "Painful".

I wish my boss would let me go home to the wife early today.
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Old 10-02-08, 11:54 AM   #3412
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Granted, your "boss" let's you "go home" in a "match box" to your "wife" early

I wish everyone talked in quotes
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Old 10-02-08, 01:44 PM   #3413
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Granted, they do but you still have to understand what they say which sometimes is not an easy thing to do because many of them are quoting something they know everything about except for those who know nothing about it.

I wish today were cooler than yesterday.
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Old 10-02-08, 01:48 PM   #3414
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Granted. However, everybody else in the world finds it highly irritating and then you are discovered to be the source of the problem.
Tried and convicted of being a smart a$$ you are sentenced to Quote:
"Enprisonment in the confines of a colostomy bag in a place where cholera is rampent for not less than two-years with the chance of parole in 729-days."

D'oh, too slow...

Quote:
I wish today were cooler than yesterday.
Granted, but yesterday's high was +1 degree kelvin.

I wish there were whale's tails for sales in jails.
 
Old 10-02-08, 01:53 PM   #3415
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Granted, and they go for quite a bit because the prisoners are fed so little that most of them are skinny so the bigger ones with the bigger a$$ make a whole lot of money.

I wish today was 10 degrees cooler than yesterday's 75 degrees F.
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Old 10-02-08, 01:56 PM   #3416
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Granted, 10 degrees C cooler (Which I frankly won't find to be a problem)

I wish tempratures were always below 20 degrees C
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Old 10-02-08, 03:47 PM   #3417
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Granted, they sit at 19.999999999999deg C forever and everyone wears comfortable clothes.

I wish I could find some comfortable clothes
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Old 10-02-08, 04:36 PM   #3418
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Granted, but they are in a store and when you walk out with them and without paying for them, they arrest you, try you, convict you, and send you off to that prison I talked about earlier where JB pays you back for the pain you caused him.

I wish I had scored 100% on that test today instead of a 97%.
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Old 10-02-08, 04:41 PM   #3419
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Granted, but you live in a world where smart people are killed so they wouldn't be able to threaten the government

I wish I remembered the name of the story I got that idea from
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Old 10-02-08, 05:29 PM   #3420
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Granted, you remember the name of the story you got that idea from, but are now perceived as smart and are killed so as not to be a threat to the governemnt

I wish the VA lab wasn't inhabited by vampires
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