Is Sex Passé?

[Gerald]

[gimpy117]

Originally Posted by Anthony W.

Sex isn't dead for men. Commitment is.

Sex for women of the teenage generation is the new commitment. One girl I know (age 14) said "As long as I put out, he's with me, not someone else"

But that man in question (age 16) said "The longer she puts out, the easier it is to leave."

Ill express the opposite where I know more than a few women, especially the younger ones, who think that they ought to be able to have a relationship with a man...but with no intimacy in that regard. they do however expect faithfulness and all the other normal trappings.

[frau kaleun]

Originally Posted by Anthony W.

But that man in question (age 16) said "The longer she puts out, the easier it is to leave."

Originally Posted by gimpy117

Ill express the opposite where I know more than a few women, especially the younger ones, who think that they ought to be able to have a relationship with a man...but with no intimacy in that regard.

The idea that sex is a commodity that should not be given away, otherwise it loses its value, has been around for a long time. It's expressed very succintly in the old chestnut, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free."

Obviously it's one very unfortunate aspect of human relations that is still very much with us.

That said, I think part of the problem - especially with the very young - is that a lot of people don't really know what they want, whether it's sex, love, commitment, freedom from commitment, or a little bit of everything. They believe they want one thing - either sincerely, or because it's what they've been taught they're supposed to want - and then find out it isn't what they want at all, or not want they want with the other person involved. In longterm relationships they may want it at first but... hey, guess what, people change. And they don't always change in ways that keep them compatible with each other.

In some cases they want one thing but pretend to want something else in order to get something from another person that they couldn't get in any other way. And it works that way for both sexes, not just one or the other. People promise or imply a commitment to get sex, or they use sex in an attempt to create or force a commitment. Sometimes it's not just about sex - some people want the benefits of another person's commitment to them (which are not all sexual) but are unwilling to accept the responsibility of making the same commitment in return.

People are complicated, and when it comes to love and sex we've all had so much conditioning that is actually detrimental to healthy, equality-based relationships that it's a miracle that any of us make a reasonable success of them at all.

[Jimbuna]

Originally Posted by frau kaleun

People are complicated, and when it comes to love and sex we've all had so much conditioning that is actually detrimental to healthy, equality-based relationships that it's a miracle that any of us make a reasonable success of them at all.

Aye that