Things and people I should be able to machine gun - Page 2

Subnuts · 02-04-07, 03:01 AM

Small children: Extremely precocious and annoying. Also, liable to give away my sub's position if the enemy bribes them with lollipops.

Mothers: May one day give birth to more children for the war effort.

Japanese merchant sailors: Just like Allied merchantmen, but apparently ruthless, bloodthirsty, and evil.

Hookers: What kind of game is this if I can't shoot hookers?

Empty lifeboats: Just like machine gunning a full lifeboat, except without the attendant morality issues.

Anybody who's skin is yellower than mine: They bombed us first and I can do whatever I want to them.

Inflatable liferafts: Just because the sound of air escaping from them is funny.

Mush Morton: That guy is gonna kill somebody someday!

Oil barrels: Again, what kind of game is this if I can't shoot random oil barrels and make them explode?

My own crew: They might think I'm insane when they see me killing everything in the water.

Dead bodies: May cause a danger to navigation if I don't sink them.

Tiger sharks: May kill survivors in the water before I can get at them.

B-29s loaded with incendiary bombs: It's not fair that they get to kill more unarmed people than I do.

Allied Prisoners of War: If i machine gun them, it will send a powerful message not to be taken prisoner by the Japanese.

Survivors of other Allied subs who were aboard ships I'd sunk: If I don't kill every last one of those SOBs, they'll just go back home and say I sunk them. I can't allow them to sully my career!

Icebergs: After the Titanic, there can be no option except absolute surrender.

The future cast of Invasion of the Neptune Men: You ever see that thing? The battle scene just goes on and on and on... Even Mike and the Bots couldn't save that thing!

Yoko Ono: Bitch has it coming.

02-04-07, 03:01 AM	#1
Subnuts The Old Man Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Connecticut Posts: 1,658 Downloads: 14 Uploads: 0	Things and people I should be able to machine gun Small children: Extremely precocious and annoying. Also, liable to give away my sub's position if the enemy bribes them with lollipops. Mothers: May one day give birth to more children for the war effort. Japanese merchant sailors: Just like Allied merchantmen, but apparently ruthless, bloodthirsty, and evil. Hookers: What kind of game is this if I can't shoot hookers? Empty lifeboats: Just like machine gunning a full lifeboat, except without the attendant morality issues. Anybody who's skin is yellower than mine: They bombed us first and I can do whatever I want to them. Inflatable liferafts: Just because the sound of air escaping from them is funny. Mush Morton: That guy is gonna kill somebody someday! Oil barrels: Again, what kind of game is this if I can't shoot random oil barrels and make them explode? My own crew: They might think I'm insane when they see me killing everything in the water. Dead bodies: May cause a danger to navigation if I don't sink them. Tiger sharks: May kill survivors in the water before I can get at them. B-29s loaded with incendiary bombs: It's not fair that they get to kill more unarmed people than I do. Allied Prisoners of War: If i machine gun them, it will send a powerful message not to be taken prisoner by the Japanese. Survivors of other Allied subs who were aboard ships I'd sunk: If I don't kill every last one of those SOBs, they'll just go back home and say I sunk them. I can't allow them to sully my career! Icebergs: After the Titanic, there can be no option except absolute surrender. The future cast of Invasion of the Neptune Men: You ever see that thing? The battle scene just goes on and on and on... Even Mike and the Bots couldn't save that thing! Yoko Ono: Bitch has it coming. __________________ My Amazon.com reviews