You know whats grosser then gross?

[Sailor Steve]

Sailing ship. New sailor. Crusty old chief is showing him around. Baby sailor says "Chief, I don't know quite how to ask this, but we're going to be at sea for weeks. What do you do when you, you know...?"

"Well, son, when we're at sea we have 'The Barrel'."

"The Barrel?"

"Yup. See that barrel over there? See that hole down there? Any time you feel the urge, you just mosey on over there and let The Barrel do its thing. Best time you'll ever have on board, guaranteed."

The kid decides that's just to weird for him, so he goes about the business of learning the ship and the sea, and studiously avoids The Barrel. After a week of this he decides he can't take it anymore. When he's sure no one is looking he sneaks over to the barrel.

A few minutes later he seeks out the Chief. "Chief. I gotta tell you I had my doubts, but you were right; that was quite the experience! Can I do it again?"

"Sure you can, son. The only time you're restricted is when your on duty and on Tuesdays."

"Tuesdays? What happens on Tuesdays?"

"Well, now that you've joined the club, Tuesday's your day in the barrel!"