Army ranks explained...

jumpy · 03-12-08, 01:22 PM

Read that before in one of Spike Milligans memoirs, funny though

Jimbuna · 03-12-08, 02:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jumpy

Read that before in one of Spike Milligans memoirs, funny though

That's it!!....I knew I'd seen it somewhere

Takao · 03-12-08, 08:46 PM

Yeah, it's all over the internet. IIRC, it started in the military and moved to the civilian sector. I have seen it used for police, firemen, business executives, computer programmers, etc. Google The Image of Rank and see what you get.

My personal favorite is:

The Image of Rank

General

Leaps over tall buildings in a single bound, is more powerful than an locomotive, is faster than a speeding bullet, walks on water, and gives policy to God.

Colonel

Leaps short buildings with a single bound, is more powerful than a switch engine, is just as fast as a speeding bullet, walks on water if the sea is calm, and talks to God.

Lieutenant Colonel

Leaps short buildings with a running start and a favorable wind, is almost as powerful as a switch engine, is faster than a B. B., walks on water in an outdoor pool, and talks to God if a special request is approved.

Major

Barely clears Quonset huts, loses tugs of war with locomotives, can fire a speeidng bullet, swims well, and is occasionally addressed by God.

Captain

Makes high marks when trying to leap short buildings, is run over by locomotives, can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury, can dog-paddle, and talks to animals.

First Lieutenant

Runs into buildings, recognizes locomotives two out of three times, is not issued ammunition, can stay afloat if properly instructed, and talks to water.

Second Lieutenant

Falls over doorsills when trying to enter buildings, says "look at the choo-choo", wets himself with a water pistol, and mumbles to himself all the time. NCO

Lifts buildings and then walks under them, kicks locomotives off the track, catches speeding bullets in his teeth and chews them, and freezes water with a single glance. He is God!

Junior Enlisted

Sneaks through the barracks, catches a ride on a train called the Silver Bullet, uses water only as a chaser, and when seeing one of the above, he uses God's name.

03-12-08, 01:22 PM	#1
jumpy Admiral Join Date: May 2003 Location: Midlands, UK Posts: 2,139 Downloads: 22 Uploads: 0	Read that before in one of Spike Milligans memoirs, funny though __________________ when you’ve been so long in the desert, any water, no matter how brackish, looks like life

03-12-08, 08:46 PM	#3
Takao Officer Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Reading, PA Posts: 244 Downloads: 1 Uploads: 0	Yeah, it's all over the internet. IIRC, it started in the military and moved to the civilian sector. I have seen it used for police, firemen, business executives, computer programmers, etc. Google The Image of Rank and see what you get. My personal favorite is: The Image of Rank General Leaps over tall buildings in a single bound, is more powerful than an locomotive, is faster than a speeding bullet, walks on water, and gives policy to God. Colonel Leaps short buildings with a single bound, is more powerful than a switch engine, is just as fast as a speeding bullet, walks on water if the sea is calm, and talks to God. Lieutenant Colonel Leaps short buildings with a running start and a favorable wind, is almost as powerful as a switch engine, is faster than a B. B., walks on water in an outdoor pool, and talks to God if a special request is approved. Major Barely clears Quonset huts, loses tugs of war with locomotives, can fire a speeidng bullet, swims well, and is occasionally addressed by God. Captain Makes high marks when trying to leap short buildings, is run over by locomotives, can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury, can dog-paddle, and talks to animals. First Lieutenant Runs into buildings, recognizes locomotives two out of three times, is not issued ammunition, can stay afloat if properly instructed, and talks to water. Second Lieutenant Falls over doorsills when trying to enter buildings, says "look at the choo-choo", wets himself with a water pistol, and mumbles to himself all the time. NCO Lifts buildings and then walks under them, kicks locomotives off the track, catches speeding bullets in his teeth and chews them, and freezes water with a single glance. He is God! Junior Enlisted Sneaks through the barracks, catches a ride on a train called the Silver Bullet, uses water only as a chaser, and when seeing one of the above, he uses God's name.