A raid on Rabul.. (very) short story. - Page 2

stuntcow · 10-18-07, 11:29 AM

Great Read!!!!!

SteamWake · 10-18-07, 11:43 AM

Thanks for the words of encouragement (and bumps). It helps to keep me motivated.

I have to apologize for my horrific spelling and weak grammer not to mention inacuracies but its not like Im gonna try to publish this. Thats what proof readers are for :p This is just for fun.

Ill try to get to the next chapter tonight. No way till then.

Anyhow thanks again, enjoy.

Elder-Pirate · 10-18-07, 01:46 PM

Are we there yet? Jeez someone give me a clean rag, gotta wipe off my binocs. SteamWake says there's a enemy freighter out there.

kylesplanet · 10-18-07, 09:35 PM

Steamwake you are SO GOOD!!! I can't wait for the next chapter! This is a really good story and believable. I'm kinda pulling for Chip.

donut · 10-18-07, 10:56 PM

Quote:

"Remember Chip" the captain spoke "I want a simultanious detonation. Dont forget the boats are heavily laden so allow for that in your calculations". "YES SIR" the xo barked. Skipper just shook his head and smiled.

:hmm: Fire @ trailing ship first,longest run. Oops!

Sorry,your story.

stuntcow · 10-19-07, 01:10 AM

I was not the only one that read thought that...... Was not my story so did not want to say anything but since you did...

SteamWake · 10-19-07, 09:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by donut

Quote:

"Remember Chip" the captain spoke "I want a simultanious detonation. Dont forget the boats are heavily laden so allow for that in your calculations". "YES SIR" the xo barked. Skipper just shook his head and smiled.

:hmm: Fire @ trailing ship first,longest run. Oops!

Sorry,your story.

Heh I knew some folks would be scratching their heads... task accomplilshed :p

Not to worry there is actually a reason for this 'flaw' which will be revealed in the next chapter.

Sorry I dident get to it last night Ill try for sure tonight.

A_Engel · 10-19-07, 02:47 PM

Oh the suspense... Atleast I'll have something to look forward to tonight.

SteamWake · 10-19-07, 08:41 PM

The boat suddenly slogged and slowed. The bow had breached the surface.

Everything was different when the boat was on the surface, it pitched, rolled, yawed forth and back. The sailors feet shifted back and forth trying to keep their balance. It obviously was not a nice day topside.

"Were surfaced sir !" claimed a helmsman. "Very well" skipper responded. "Gordon, Smitty" your on. I have seen you boys in practice. Your good, lets see how you do now." The skipper caught their eyes and smiled. "Wait till I call ya up" skipper quipped. "Chip ?" skipper noted. "YES SIR" the xo replied. Obviously he had not relaxed much. The skipper put his hands out palm down... breathing out a smooth sigh, "Easy skip, we will get through this smelling like a rose. Just wait here till I call you up".

"Yes Sir" the xo replyed. He looked stunned, dismayed. Imagine petty officers on the bridge before him... a commisioned officer.... "Yes sir" he repeated.

The sound of a round singing over the top of the boat with an all to close sound of a cannon round striking water. "Zip, shoooonk, Thump".

Everyone within the sub ducked in reflex. Reality had set in. We are about to go toe to toe with an armed enemy ship. Chip sure had a change of attitude. He looked up at the skip but the Skipper wasent there. He had already started up the ladder.

---- I'm writing like doo doo tonight, I will continue this soon ---

Apologize for delays but life happens.

jazman · 10-19-07, 09:34 PM

Here's where we get to contribute. Here's my ending, in the spirit of Das Boot, just to amuse the masses while they wait:

Unbeknownst to the crew, Flight Lieutenant Takahashi, at the controls of his large Type 97 Flying Boat spotted a sudden irregularity on the rippled but regular surface of the ocean below. Wheeling the lumbering flying whale around it soon became clear that it was a US sub. It was attacking a merchant ship. This anti-free-trade Yankee would certainly pay for his sins! though Takahashi, for a moment lost in wistful remembrance of university in America, studying economics.

Quickly but carefully lining up for the attack, the skilled Takahashi pushed the controls forward. Forward, forward, down, down, went the ungainly aircraft, then at just the right moment, as his countless training missions had taught him, he pulled up and released his bombs. The plane lurched a bit upward as the whale's deadly cargo sought a new home.

The shouts of "Banzai!" from his crew told the story. Only an oil slick remained where once a menacing fighting submarine had been spewing death! He exchanged an exultant Banzai! with his co-pilot.

Carry on!

SteamWake · 08-06-08, 02:31 PM

Wow I cant believe Ive let this lay around for almost a year...

Sorry to drag up a very old thread but needed to tag it for easy retrieval. Might get involved in the story contest

buddha95 · 08-06-08, 03:09 PM

My brother-in-law from West Virginia "had me learnt him to read" just for this story.

keep em coming

donut · 08-07-08, 01:13 AM

Just dropped by to make sure you all hadn't bought the deep six.

jazman · 08-08-08, 12:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SteamWake

Wow I cant believe Ive let this lay around for almost a year...

Sorry to drag up a very old thread but needed to tag it for easy retrieval. Might get involved in the story contest

You never did finish it. I just plugged in something silly for the fun of it, and there it sat.

Task Force · 08-08-08, 01:04 PM

Yea this story was just getting to its climax. Are you going to finish it.

10-18-07, 11:29 AM	#16
stuntcow Torpedoman Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Tucson, AZ USA Posts: 113 Downloads: 13 Uploads: 0	Great Read!!!!! __________________ U.S.S. Harder "Hit'em Harder" "How long can you tread water?"

10-18-07, 01:46 PM	#18
Elder-Pirate Ace of the Deep Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Morris, Illinois USA Posts: 1,090 Downloads: 29 Uploads: 0	Are we there yet? Jeez someone give me a clean rag, gotta wipe off my binocs. SteamWake says there's a enemy freighter out there. __________________ Last edited by Elder-Pirate; 10-18-07 at 04:51 PM.

10-19-07, 01:10 AM	#21
stuntcow Torpedoman Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Tucson, AZ USA Posts: 113 Downloads: 13 Uploads: 0	I was not the only one that read thought that...... Was not my story so did not want to say anything but since you did... __________________ U.S.S. Harder "Hit'em Harder" "How long can you tread water?"

10-19-07, 02:47 PM	#23
A_Engel Swabbie Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Michigan, U.S.A. Posts: 10 Downloads: 0 Uploads: 0	Oh the suspense... Atleast I'll have something to look forward to tonight. __________________ The absence of evidence is not the evidence of absence.

10-19-07, 09:34 PM	#25
jazman Commander Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Crush Depth Posts: 449 Downloads: 50 Uploads: 0	Here's where we get to contribute. Here's my ending, in the spirit of Das Boot, just to amuse the masses while they wait: Unbeknownst to the crew, Flight Lieutenant Takahashi, at the controls of his large Type 97 Flying Boat spotted a sudden irregularity on the rippled but regular surface of the ocean below. Wheeling the lumbering flying whale around it soon became clear that it was a US sub. It was attacking a merchant ship. This anti-free-trade Yankee would certainly pay for his sins! though Takahashi, for a moment lost in wistful remembrance of university in America, studying economics. Quickly but carefully lining up for the attack, the skilled Takahashi pushed the controls forward. Forward, forward, down, down, went the ungainly aircraft, then at just the right moment, as his countless training missions had taught him, he pulled up and released his bombs. The plane lurched a bit upward as the whale's deadly cargo sought a new home. The shouts of "Banzai!" from his crew told the story. Only an oil slick remained where once a menacing fighting submarine had been spewing death! He exchanged an exultant Banzai! with his co-pilot. Carry on! __________________ "The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him." -- Chesterton

10-18-07, 11:43 AM	#17
SteamWake Rear Admiral Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 13,224 Downloads: 5 Uploads: 0	Thanks for the words of encouragement (and bumps). It helps to keep me motivated. I have to apologize for my horrific spelling and weak grammer not to mention inacuracies but its not like Im gonna try to publish this. Thats what proof readers are for :p This is just for fun. Ill try to get to the next chapter tonight. No way till then. Anyhow thanks again, enjoy.

10-18-07, 09:35 PM	#19
kylesplanet Commodore Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 629 Downloads: 39 Uploads: 0	Steamwake you are SO GOOD!!! I can't wait for the next chapter! This is a really good story and believable. I'm kinda pulling for Chip.

10-19-07, 08:41 PM	#24
SteamWake Rear Admiral Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 13,224 Downloads: 5 Uploads: 0	The boat suddenly slogged and slowed. The bow had breached the surface. Everything was different when the boat was on the surface, it pitched, rolled, yawed forth and back. The sailors feet shifted back and forth trying to keep their balance. It obviously was not a nice day topside. "Were surfaced sir !" claimed a helmsman. "Very well" skipper responded. "Gordon, Smitty" your on. I have seen you boys in practice. Your good, lets see how you do now." The skipper caught their eyes and smiled. "Wait till I call ya up" skipper quipped. "Chip ?" skipper noted. "YES SIR" the xo replied. Obviously he had not relaxed much. The skipper put his hands out palm down... breathing out a smooth sigh, "Easy skip, we will get through this smelling like a rose. Just wait here till I call you up". "Yes Sir" the xo replyed. He looked stunned, dismayed. Imagine petty officers on the bridge before him... a commisioned officer.... "Yes sir" he repeated. The sound of a round singing over the top of the boat with an all to close sound of a cannon round striking water. "Zip, shoooonk, Thump". Everyone within the sub ducked in reflex. Reality had set in. We are about to go toe to toe with an armed enemy ship. Chip sure had a change of attitude. He looked up at the skip but the Skipper wasent there. He had already started up the ladder. ---- I'm writing like doo doo tonight, I will continue this soon --- Apologize for delays but life happens.

08-06-08, 02:31 PM	#26
SteamWake Rear Admiral Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 13,224 Downloads: 5 Uploads: 0	Wow I cant believe Ive let this lay around for almost a year... Sorry to drag up a very old thread but needed to tag it for easy retrieval. Might get involved in the story contest

08-06-08, 03:09 PM	#27
buddha95 Planesman Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 196 Downloads: 0 Uploads: 0	My brother-in-law from West Virginia "had me learnt him to read" just for this story. keep em coming __________________ Build a man a fire,,, keep him warm for a day. BUT, set a man on fire, keep him warm for the reat of his life !! http://s309.photobucket.com/albums/kk365/buddha95-3898 http://battleflags.net/miniflags/Bat...ddha95_sig.jpg /

08-07-08, 01:13 AM	#28
donut The Old Man Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: The Shifting, Whispering Sands, NM Posts: 1,463 Downloads: 10 Uploads: 0	Capt. Steamy, Just dropped by to make sure you all hadn't bought the deep six.

08-08-08, 01:04 PM	#30
Task Force Rear Admiral Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: SPACE!!!! Posts: 10,142 Downloads: 85 Uploads: 0	Yea this story was just getting to its climax. Are you going to finish it. __________________ Task Force industries "Taking control of the world, one mind at a time"