Military Rules

Not really a military rule but one that everyone should keep in mind when planning a trip.

"Time to spare go by air, more time yet go by jet!"

[August]

No thread on military rules would be complete without:

Murphy's Laws of Combat

1:Friendly fire - isn't.
2:Recoilless rifles - aren't.
3:Suppressive fires - won't.
4:You are not Superman; Marines and fighter pilots take note.
5:A sucking chest wound is Nature's way of telling you to slow down.
6:If it's stupid but it works, it isn't stupid.
7:Try to look unimportant; the enemy may be low on ammo and not want to waste a bullet on you.
8:If at first you don't succeed, call in an airstrike.
9:If you are forward of your position, your artillery will fall short.
10:Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself.
11:Never go to bed with anyone crazier than yourself.
12:Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.
13:If your attack is going really well, it's an ambush.
14:The enemy diversion you're ignoring is their main attack.
15:The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions:1-when they're ready 2-when you're not.
16:No OPLAN ever survives initial contact.
17:There is no such thing as a perfect plan.
18:Five second fuzes always burn three seconds.
19:There is no such thing as an atheist in a foxhole.
20:A retreating enemy is probably just falling back and regrouping.
21:The important things are always simple; the simple are always hard.
22:The easy way is always mined.
23:Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy other people to shoot at.
24on't look conspicuous; it draws fire. (For this reason, it is not at all uncommon for aircraft carriers to be known as bomb magnets.)
25:Never draw fire; it irritates everyone around you.
26:If you are short of everything but the enemy, you are in the combat zone.
27:When you have secured the area, make sure the enemy knows it too.
28:Incoming fire has the right of way.
29:No combat ready unit has ever passed inspection.
30:No inspection ready unit has ever passed combat.
31:If the enemy is within range, so are you.
32:The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.
33:Things which must be shipped together as a set, aren't.
34:Things that must be together in order to work, can't be shipped to the field that way.
35:Radios will fail as soon as you need fire support. (Corollary: Radar tends to fail at night and in bad weather, and especially during both.)
36:Anything you do can get you killed, including doing nothing.
37:Make it too tough for the enemy to get in, and you won't be able to get out.
38:Tracers work both ways.
39:If you take more than your fair share of objectives, you will get more than your fair share of objectives to take.
40:When both sides are convinced they're about to lose, they're both right.
41:Professional soldiers are predictable; the world is full of dangerous amateurs.
42:Military Intelligence is an oxymoron.
43:Fortify your front; you'll get your rear shot up.
44:Weather ain't neutral.
45:If you can't remember, the Claymore is pointed towards you.
46:Air defense motto: shoot 'em down; sort 'em out on the ground.
'Flies high, it dies; low and slow, it'll go.
47:The Cavalry doesn't always come to the rescue.
48:Napalm is an area support weapon.
49:Mines are equal opportunity weapons.
50:Sniper's motto: reach out and touch someone.
51:The one item you need is always in short supply.
52:Interchangeable parts aren't.
53:It's not the one with your name on it that should worry you; it's the one addressed "to whom it may concern" you've got to think about.
54:When in doubt, empty your magazine.
55:The side with the simplest uniforms wins.
56:Combat will occur on the ground between two adjoining maps.
57:If the Platoon Sergeant can see you, so can the enemy.
58:Never stand when you can sit, never sit when you can lie down, never stay awake when you can sleep.
59:The most dangerous thing in the world is a Second Lieutenant with a map and a compass.
60:Exceptions prove the rule, and destroy the battle plan.
61:Everything always works in your HQ, everything always fails in the Colonel's HQ.
62:The enemy never watches until you make a mistake.
63:One enemy soldier is never enough, but two is entirely too many.
64:A clean (and dry) set of BDU's is a magnet for mud and rain.
65:The worse the weather, the more you are required to be out in it.
66:Whenever you have plenty of ammo, you never miss. Whenever you are low on ammo, you can't hit the broad side of a barn.
67:The more a weapon costs, the farther you will have to send it away to be repaired.
68:The complexity of a weapon is inversely proportional to the IQ of the weapon's operator.
69:Field experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
70:No matter which way you have to march, its always uphill.
71:If enough data is collected, a board of inquiry can prove anything.
72:For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism. (in boot camp)
73:Airstrikes always overshoot the target, artillery always falls short.
74:When reviewing the radio frequencies that you just wrote down, the most important ones are always illegible.
75:Those who hesitate under fire usually do not end up KIA or WIA.
76:The tough part about being an officer is that the troops don't know what they want, but they know for certain what they don't want.
77:To steal information from a person is called plagiarism. To steal information from the enemy is called gathering intelligence.
78:The weapon that usually jams when you need it the most is the M60.
79:The perfect officer for the job will transfer in the day after that billet is filled by someone else.
80:When you have sufficient supplies & ammo, the enemy takes 2 weeks to attack. When you are low on supplies & ammo the enemy decides to attack that night.
81:The newest and least experienced soldier will usually win the Medal of Honor.
82:A Purple Heart just proves that were you smart enough to think of a plan, stupid enough to try it, and lucky enough to survive.
83:Body count Math: 3 guerrillas plus 1 probable plus 2 pigs equals 37 enemies killed in action.
84:The bursting radius of a hand grenade is always one foot greater than your jumping range.
85:All-weather close air support isn't.
86:The combat worth of a unit is inversely proportional to the smartness of its outfit and appearance.
87:It's easier to expend material in combat than to fill out the forms for Graves Registration.
88:Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate -- the bombs always hit the ground.
89:The crucial round is a dud.
90:Every command which can be misunderstood, will be.
91:There is no such place as a convenient foxhole.
92on't ever be the first, don't ever be the last and don't ever volunteer to do anything.
93:If your positions are firmly set and you are prepared to take the enemy assault on, he will bypass you.
94:If your ambush is properly set, the enemy won't walk into it.
95:If your flank march is going well, the enemy expects you to outflank him.
96ensity of fire increases proportionally to the curiousness of the target.
97:Odd objects attract fire - never lurk behind one.
98:The more stupid the leader is, the more important missions he is ordered to carry out.
99:The self-importance of a superior is inversely proportional to his position in the hierarchy (as is his deviousness and mischievousness).
100:There is always a way, and it usually doesn't work.
101:Success occurs when no one is looking, failure occurs when the General is watching.
102:The enemy never monitors your radio frequency until you broadcast on an unsecured channel.
103:Whenever you drop your equipment in a fire-fight, your ammo and grenades always fall the farthest away, and your canteen always lands at your feet.
104:As soon as you are served hot chow in the field, it rains.
105:Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do.
106:The seriousness of a wound (in a fire-fight) is inversely proportional to the distance to any form of cover.
107:Your bivouac for the night is the spot where you got tired of marching that day.
108:If only one solution can be found for a field problem, then it is usually a stupid solution.

[SUBMAN1]

Originally Posted by August

No thread on military rules would be complete without:

Murphy's Laws of Combat

Stop it! You're killing me! :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: