Alternative Home Security Measures

Kapitan_Phillips · 04-06-07, 01:19 PM

Thought you could all use a giggle or two, and some flashbacks!

KP's Home Defense - Because you want bigger guns than the Perp

Investment 1: ED-209

What says "Get off my porch" better than twin .50 caliber machine guns and side mounted stinger launchers?

Programmable in multiple dialects, including the original "You have 20 seconds to comply"

Yorkshire - "Ye have 20 seconds t'comply"
Redneck - "You dun ticked me off and I'ma shoot yer ass"
Scouse - "Ere mate, you got 20 secands to move or I'll slap ye!"

Estimated Price - $40,000,000

Investment 2: Predator

"They took my jub!"

The last thing the potential scoundrel will see are three dots moving along his chest. The Predator is also trainable in multiple dialects, here shown in the "Disgruntled Redneck" mode.

Required for upkeep is a damned hot greenhouse and plenty of cheese-whirls (they get picky)

Estimated Price: Free, just dont expect loyalty or friendship

Investment 3 - Chuck Norris

Not much can be said about this. This is common knowledge. Norris is like hiring the A-Team to do your grandmothers knitting, or hiring Robocop to guard your kids lunch money at school. Overkill summarises Chuck Norris, and he should only be called upon when all hope is seemingly lost. Of course, you could call him, but he doesnt have a phone. You dont find Chuck Norris, he finds you.

04-06-07, 01:19 PM	#1
Kapitan_Phillips Silent Hunter Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Swansea Posts: 3,903 Downloads: 204 Uploads: 0	Alternative Home Security Measures Thought you could all use a giggle or two, and some flashbacks! KP's Home Defense - Because you want bigger guns than the Perp Investment 1: ED-209 What says "Get off my porch" better than twin .50 caliber machine guns and side mounted stinger launchers? Programmable in multiple dialects, including the original "You have 20 seconds to comply" Yorkshire - "Ye have 20 seconds t'comply" Redneck - "You dun ticked me off and I'ma shoot yer ass" Scouse - "Ere mate, you got 20 secands to move or I'll slap ye!" Estimated Price - $40,000,000 Investment 2: Predator "They took my jub!" The last thing the potential scoundrel will see are three dots moving along his chest. The Predator is also trainable in multiple dialects, here shown in the "Disgruntled Redneck" mode. Required for upkeep is a damned hot greenhouse and plenty of cheese-whirls (they get picky) Estimated Price: Free, just dont expect loyalty or friendship Investment 3 - Chuck Norris Not much can be said about this. This is common knowledge. Norris is like hiring the A-Team to do your grandmothers knitting, or hiring Robocop to guard your kids lunch money at school. Overkill summarises Chuck Norris, and he should only be called upon when all hope is seemingly lost. Of course, you could call him, but he doesnt have a phone. You dont find Chuck Norris, he finds you. __________________ Well, here's another nice mess you've gotten me into.