Windows for Warships

[Letum]

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2007/02..._boxes_at_sea/

"Microsoft forced upon the RN"

[Tchocky]

Windows ain't great, but it sure is a step up

*waits for Linux/Unix crowd to arrive*

[Kapitan_Phillips]

I'm not a Mac follower, or a Linux follower.

But this is absolutley ridiculous

[The Avon Lady]

I don't necessarily see a better alternative.

[Kapitan_Phillips]

"tomahawk.exe has performed an illegal operation, and will self-destruct. We're sorry for the inconvenience."

"Cannot start war.exe because the program appears to be in use, please close the other program and try again"

Now to get another world power to equip its ships with Mac, and another with Linux and start a World war, the OS Wars. :rotfl:

[The Noob]

Any Russian Submarine Captain Could tell you thats not a wise idea.

What Really Happened to the Submarine Kursk

New information has come to light about the Kursk disaster. For those
with short attention spans, the Kursk was the Russian submarine that
blew up and sank in the Arctic Ocean killing all 118 on board. The
Russians tried to blame the incident on a collision with an unidentified
object. However, sonar tapes which recorded the blasts (a small one at
first, then a much larger one two minutes later) cast doubt on these
claims.

A whistle blower within the Russian military has leaked that the Kursk
was testing a new type of torpedo when the accident occurred. It
seems very likely that the test didn't go quite as planned. While
rescue efforts to save the survivors of the Kursk failed, salvage crews
were able to recover a 'Black Box' from the submarine which contained
detailed accounts of the events leading up to the explosion. A copy of
those tapes has recently come into the hands of NATO intelligence
officers, one of whom leaked it to the press..

It turns out that the submarine crew was trying to load Microsoft
Windows XP on their fire control computer. Their intent was to replace
the aging CP/M operating system with the flashier Windows OS.
Apparently, the Russians didn't know about the legendary stability
problems exhibited by Windows. The log tapes make this painfully
obvious:

Transcript of Portions of the Kursk Log

Captain: Is the new fire control Windows OS installed yet Comrade?
Seaman: Almost Sir. We just need to finish filling out the
registration card.
Captain: Excellent. Soon we will be able to point and click our
enemies into oblivion. [evil laughter in background]
Seaman: Comrade Captain! It is booting! Look, it says 'Preparing to
run Windows for the first time'. [long pause]
Seaman: Arrgh! Sir, it wants me to reboot again. That makes the 27th time.
Captain: Hmmm. This is not encouraging. Go ahead and reboot again.

Seaman: Aye aye, Sir. [another long pause]
Seaman: Captain, it is up again. It says it found new hardware . . . . A CD-ROM drive and that it needs drivers.
Captain: Where are the drivers?
Seaman: On the CD-ROM.
Captain: You are joking, no?
Seaman: No Sir.
Captain: Reboot the damn thing again. I am starting not to like this Windows. [another long pause]
Seaman: Sir! It is back! It says it found the Gorby2000 Torpedo and is looking for the device drivers. Do we have a driver disk?
Captain: I do not think so.
Seaman: I will tell it to use the default drivers. [another long
pause]
Seaman: Crap. It wants to reboot again.
Captain: How many times are we going to reboot today? This is taking
forever. Our hull is going to rust out before this works. [another
long pause]
Seaman: Sir! It is up and this time it is not asking for anything!
Captain: Really? No device drivers? No registration cards? No user profiles?
Seaman: No Sir. I think it is ready.
Captain: Good work comrade. Now click on the fire control icon and let us see how this works.
Seaman: Clicking now, Sir. [another long pause]
Captain: Why does the fire control screen have a dancing paper clip on it?
Seaman: I have no idea Sir.
Captain: Hmmm, well try clicking on the menu.
Seaman: Aye aye, Sir. Let us see; Open E-mail, Spam a friend, Mail a Virus, Fire a Torpedo . . . .
Captain: We will spam a friend later. Let us fire a torpedo.
Seaman: Aye aye, Sir. [another long pause]
Seaman: It is asking us to load the torpedo and to click when ready.
Captain: Torpedo room, load a torpedo in tube number 1!
Intercom: This is the Torpedo room. The torpedo is loaded Sir.
Captain: Click on the continue button.
Seaman: Aye aye, Sir. [another long pause]
Seaman: It is asking for a target Sir.
Captain: Hmmm, target the Rainbow Warrior.
Seaman: Aye aye, Sir. Damn! It says the torpedo is low on ink.
Captain: Click ignore. We will get some ink when we return to base.
Seaman: Aye aye, Sir. We are ready to fire.
Captain: Very good. You may fire when ready comrade.
Seaman: Firing torpedo, Sir. [another really long pause]
Captain: Well?
Seaman: I am trying Sir. Nothing is happening. Wait a minute . . . .

[Loud explosion in the background]
Intercom: [Screaming]
Captain: What the $@#% was that?!?!?
Seaman: Captain! A new screen has appeared! It says, "Outlook
Express Fire Control has performed an illegal operation and will be shut
down. Click 'OK' to continue."
Seaman: Oh my God! The paper clip has died! What should I do?
Captain: Shut it down! Shut it down!
Seaman: It is not responding, Sir!
Captain: Try 'CTRL-ALT-DELETE'!
Seaman: Aye aye, Sir. . . . Sir! We are in luck! The task manager is
still operating. I am instructing the task manager to shut down Outlook
Fire Control. [another long pause]
Seaman: The task manager says "Outlook Fire Control not responding."
Captain: Well no ****. Tell it to "End Task".
Seaman: Nothing is happening Sir.
Captain: Try 'CTRL-ALT-DELETE' again.
Seaman: Aye aye, Sir. [sounds of frantic pecking on keyboard.]
Seaman: Oooh! What a pretty blue screen!
Captain: Holy $@#%! Not the blue screen of death
[Loud explosion heard]

The tape ends at this point. During the week long rescue effort,
divers reported hearing tapping in Morse Code coming from survivors
inside the damaged sub. The rescuers couldn't understand why a group of
men would spend the last of their strength tapping out "Windows Sucks!"
in Morse. The tapes of the last moments of the Kursk may offer some
insight into this.

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Blue screen of death! :rotfl:

[The Avon Lady]

Just think about how difficult it was in the old DOS days to fire a torpedo at the right moment, after receiving multiple messages to "REMOVE CURRENT FLOPPY DISK. INSERT NEXT DISK."

[The Noob]

Microsoft always sucked. Even "back then", it got "owned" by Amiga, wich was the BEST PC EVER! :p

[Skybird]

The nice thing about monoculture-style OS is that the enemy needs only one solution to infest or electronically influence many totally different pieces of hardware and platforms.

At no cost I would give a company like Microsoft, or a company form a foreign country with a strong self-centered agenda, access to my defense installations. Because if that foreign country's agenda collides with my own, I would know where the loyalty of my software lies - probably not with me.

But in variations, this is true for defense hardware in general, I suppose.
Remember the new version of Battlestar Galactica, and Commander Adama categorically rejecting to operate computer networks and Ai-automatics aboard his ship? He even had switched off the remote control autopilot for incoming fighters on the landing deck. Right he is. His battlestar was the only one who survived the electronic offensive that ran ahead of the cylon attack.

Learn from the future, guys, learn from the future!

BTW, the Chinese are said to invest heavily into software- and electronic warfare. While India has the world's largest pool of talented informatic experts and students. And Vista raises suspicion by having been developed in cooperation with american intelligence services. To close security holes, they say. If they have programmed in backdoors by which American services can enter Vista-run platforms - of course never would be admitted.

Microsoft, eh?

[Oberon]

[Skybird]

Originally Posted by The Noob

Microsoft always sucked. Even "back then", it got "owned" by Amiga, wich was the BEST PC EVER! :p

Amen!

[Kpt. Kozloff]

I wonder if they are going to use it on the new Trident system. (?!)

[SUBMAN1]

Originally Posted by The Avon Lady

I don't necessarily see a better alternative.

Linux