The story begins help please

[Respenus]

Nice. I like all u-boat stories. BUT, make sure you continue with some action. OK, descriptions are nice and show with what detail you can continue your writing, so write a battle report (sinking ships, destroyers hunting you,... that kind of stuff), add a bit of personal drama, and VOULA, you have yourself a nice little story!

Keep on writing lad!

[SteamWake]

Looks like a good start..

As a friendly mild critique...

Try to find some alternate nouns for "Wolfgang" such as captain or commander. Repeating wolfgang over and over becomes .... well repetitive.

Use paragraphs. Im assuming this was typed in word or something and it ripped your formatting up. Still if your going to post it for public display take a few moments to straighten it out.

Lastly there seems to be a bit of continuity problem as in the beginning you have Wolfgang waving to the crew, a few paragraphs later you have him walking to the boat.

This part

"Wolfgang’s weather hardened face, a face age well beyond his twenty-nine years. Having been in the German navy for the past 10 years the stresses of command in combination with the tough north Atlantic weather have taken their toll on Wolfgang’s looks"

was very well crafted.

[Safe-Keeper]

I sense potential in Tommy here. He puts effort into describing things, which makes things come alive, and he seems to like writing, which is always good.

My input:
- "Weather-hardened" should be tied together with a dash ("-").
- Keep developing your characters' personalities. This is key to immersion.

Try to find some alternate nouns for "Wolfgang" such as captain or commander. Repeating wolfgang over and over becomes .... well repetitive.

That goes for everything, not just names of people. Avoid repeating words.

For example, instead of writing:
"The submarine U-60 was the newest addition to the Submerian fleet. Although the submarine was deemed..." ("Submarine" is repeated)

Write: "The submarine U-60 was the newest addition to the Submerian fleet. Although the vessel/boat was deemed..." (submarine replaced by other word)

"The submarine U-60 was the newest addition to the Submerian fleet. Although it was deemed..." (word replaced by "it")

"The submarine U-60 was the newest addition to the Submerian fleet. Although deemed..." ("sub" cut out altogether)

Oh, and this is not directed at Tommy, but to all writers.